Breaing Out B. 02

She Came Calling

For any of this to make much sense you will need to read Breaking Out -- Book 1

Like Book 1, this is a work of fiction. Any similarity to people alive or dead is entirely coincidental.

Greg nodded, "Hello Helen," He wanted to look away ... he wanted to run away ... he wanted her to go away ... but instead he suggested that the wife he had walked away from 12 months before, and the driver of the vehicle, might like to head to the cabin to get out of the heat.

He watched her face and saw the slight smile as she accepted his invitation, "I think that my driver might prefer to stay in the vehicle. He works for Serge and I got the impression that he is happy to fade into the background if he is not required."

"OK," he stepped aside to allow her to make her way up onto the veranda and into the cabin and he couldn't help but assess her as she walked past him and up the steps. She was still as beautiful as ever but maybe a pound or two more on her hips but nothing more ... and if it was there, it certainly suited her.

He caught a glimpse of a gold band on her left hand ... what did he expect? There was no reason for her not to re-marry ... he had walked out on her and not tried to contact her in those 12 months.

Once they were through the front door of the cabin and into the large living room she turned to face him, "How have you been Greg?" she asked softly.

"I've been OK, and you?"

"I've survived ... but I missed you terribly."

"I couldn't stay Helen."

"I know, we had an agreement and I totally ignored it and treated you like shit. I am so very sorry," she didn't sob, she just stood there with a steady flow of tears rolling down her cheeks.

He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her till the pain went away but she wasn't his anymore.

"I'm sorry too Helen, I should have stayed and fought for what we had but I took the easy way out."

"No, you didn't take the easy way out Greg ... there was no easy option for either of us to take."

She didn't take the easy way out? What was she saying? "But surely you divorced me?"

"No, I just couldn't do that ... even in my messed-up mental state I couldn't bring myself to divorce you."

"But the ring ... on your finger ..." he gestured to her left hand and she held it up so he could see that she was still wearing the ring he had given her all those years before.

"It's the same one you gave me Greg ... I've never taken it off because, as far as I was concerned, you were, and still are, my husband."

Greg looked down at his own left hand and the wedding band he wore and Helen could see tears in his eyes. "Husband?" he asked in a whisper.

"Yes Greg ... and I see that you're still wearing the wedding ring I gave you. It seems that neither of us wanted to end what we had worked so hard for."

"No ... I didn't want it to end." He never wanted to think about ending it ... he couldn't even force himself to think about divorce or do anything about ending it ... so in the end he just pushed the thought of ending the marriage out of his mind.

If Helen wanted to do something about ending the marriage then she could do it ... but he wouldn't. But she hadn't done anything about it either ... and now she was here ... for what purpose? His mind was stuck still trying to get over the fact that she was standing right there in front of him ... but why?

He heard footsteps and then a thump as something was put down on the veranda ... and a minute later the sound of a car door and then a vehicle slowly driving away.

"What was ..."

"That was my driver leaving my bag on the veranda and heading off to drive back to LA. I guess he thinks that you didn't throw me out straight away so I don't need him anymore."

"Oh ... I ... um ... would you like to sit down? How will you get home if ...?" he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts but he was in a daze and struggling to find some way out of it. "Ah ... can I get you a drink?"

"In a minute my love ... but first I've got to say something before I ... umm ..." her tears had dried up but they were flowing down her cheeks once more.

"I've come to talk Greg ... I've come to talk with you about you coming home." She blurted the words out ... it was not the way she had planned it but now they were out there what would he do? Would he laugh at her? Would he tell her that she was wasting her breath?

She saw him frown and her heart began to sink,

"Then we need to sit down ... over here ... in the lounge chairs." He directed her over to two high-backed lounge chairs that sat facing the large-screen television mounted on the wall as his mind raced, she wanted him to go home with her?

'Home' ... just that one word had cleared his mind and he wanted to them to talk.

She hadn't even noticed the room she was in ... she only had eyes for him. He looked different ... the 12 months that they had been apart had changed him. He was leaner ... tanned ... his eyes made her want to cry.

She saw the pain in his eyes. Was there any hope for her? Had she been stupid to think that he would ever come back?

She had been so angry ... so unreasonably angry ... that she couldn't remember what she had said to him ... but as soon as the others had told her she was desperately trying to find him ... to bring him back ... she didn't wait for the elevator, she ran down the fire escape and out onto the sidewalk but he had disappeared.

She had collapsed in tears and Serge had picked her up from the sidewalk and carried her back to Alex's office. They had tried to calm her down but it had taken too long ... by the time she could rush out the door and hail a cab to take her home he was gone ... if he had ever been there.

His truck was still in the carpark someone had told her ... maybe he hadn't gone far ... but three days later his truck was still there and she knew that he wasn't coming back.

It had been weeks before she looked at her bank account and noticed that some money was gone and she knew that he was still alive. It was another six weeks before Amy had come to her and told her that she had received an email from her father.

She wouldn't tell Helen what was in the email, but she did tell her mother that there was no way that anyone could trace where Greg had sent the email from. He had used one of the free, anonymous email providers to stop anyone from finding him.

She hired a private detective but that had been a complete waste of money. She found later that the detective hadn't even tried ... she had been vulnerable and he had simply taken her money.

"Ah ... the chairs swivel on their bases so we can turn them to face each other," he said as she eased herself into one of them. They sat and turned them so that they were looking at each other and suddenly he began to feel positive about the future.

Up to that point he had been resigned to spending the rest of his life alone. Sure, he could have started again but his heart belonged to her and he couldn't find the desire to find someone to take her place.

But now she was here and she wanted him to go back with her. Why the change? Why wait this long?

Amy had told him in one of her regular emails that there was something happening at Kalya ... something that Alex, Serge and Helen had been discussing for weeks but something that no one else knew about. There were rumours flying ... everything from a buy out to bankruptcy ... Amy had heard all the rumours but had no idea what was really going to happen.

So was it reasonable to assume that she wanted him back to help her with whatever was about to happen?

Why would she need him back? She had all the skills she needed to do just about any management job at Kalya so why would she need him? Amy had told him that Helen had not been well and there were signs of that ... there were lines around her eyes ... maybe a hint of grey in her hair ... just a strand or two? But apart from that she still looked good.

He had downloaded some of the promo clips that Kalya had released of the scenes Helen had starred in over the last year and he hadn't noticed any change in her in those clips ... but then a good makeup artist could hide just about anything, so the videos were no indication of how she really was ... but then he saw that the sparkle had gone from her eyes.

It had always been there ... and now it was gone. It was as if the real Helen was no longer there.

"Tell me how you really are Helen."

The tears had all but stopped until he spoke and now they were streaming down her face and she was making not attempt to stem the flow.

"I'm tired and I'm lost without you Greg ... I have been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and Hashimoto's Disease and the doctors can't seem to bring it under control. So, I have terrible mood swings ... I became enraged for no apparent reason and verbally attack the people I love.

"People like you Greg ... you did nothing wrong that day you left ... I was so angry that I had no self-control ... I just had to inflict pain on someone, and you were the person I attacked.

"I didn't even know what I was saying to you that day and I had no idea why you would walk out like that until Amy and Shanti told me what I had said ... and after you just disappeared I knew that you weren't coming back."

Greg looked at the floor and then at his hands, "I'm a coward Helen ... a weak pathetic coward. We've had arguments before but that was far more than an argument and it caught me at the worst possible moment.

"I was feeling down because our business ... my identity ... had gone ... I was feeling as though I had allowed you to be taken from me when I should have put up a fight for you ... and then you pointed out that I wasn't even making any money for us ... it was all you and I was getting in your way.

"I ran away and, when I could have stopped and come back, I kept on running. I was even too scared to go back and get my truck ... instead I just went and bought another one. And then it was too late. I knew that you wouldn't want me back because I was weak and useless, and you were surrounded by strong men who obviously liked you and valued you highly."

"So, where did you go? I searched for you and couldn't find you until just recently."

"Texas ... New Mexico ... Arizona ... Nevada. I finally stopped running here and started picking up odd jobs ... doing fencing ... working with a bore-drilling team ... I tried to do some consultancy work, but the word had got around that we had split up and we had been working in porn and no one wanted to hire me."

"I really screwed things up didn't I?" she sobbed.

Greg slipped out of his chair and knee-walked the short distance to Helen's chair and took her hand, "Nah ... if I had not been such a wimp we would still be doing fine but I cracked and really did some serious damage to us ... and I'm sorry."

She looked at him kneeling in front of her and knew that she had made the right decision to pay him a visit and try and win him back.

"So tell me, how is your illness being treated and why isn't it effective?"

She smiled wanly, "I'll give you the Beginner's Guide, but you might want to go back and sit in your chair ... even the simple Beginner's Guide takes a little time.

"If you take a finger and place it in the centre of your chin, and then run it down your throat till it comes to that odd V at the bottom of your neck you will have just placed your finger on where your thyroid gland lives. Everyone has one and it controls and influences many of the ways that your body ... and your mind ... functions.

"A large majority of the population never have problems with their thyroid but the rest of us do and there are two basic problems. You could have an over-active thyroid or an under-active thyroid ... an over-active thyroid produces too much of some crucial hormones that your body needs while an under-active thyroid doesn't produce enough of those hormones.

"Regardless of which version you have, it's quite likely that will have it for quite some time before it becomes apparent that you have a problem but once it becomes apparent and a doctor recognises it there are tablets that you can take. They won't cure the problem, there simply is no cure, but adding those hormones on a daily basis will relieve the symptoms.

"The medication is prescribed based on the rate at which your thyroid is functioning. The rate at which most people's thyroid functions is fairly consistent so the same level of medication works for them for years.

"The rate at which my thyroid functions varies widely, and the doctors are continually varying the level of my medication ... to try and keep pace with those changes and eventually stabilise my thyroid ... without much success.

"There are a number of unpleasant side-effects that go with an over, or under, active thyroid and they can make life tough. However, it gets even tougher if your thyroid problem develops into Hashimoto's Disease ... and that is what has happened to me.

"Now that isn't something that you can catch from me. I'm not contagious and the only way you can develop the disease is if you develop a problem with your thyroid and it goes on to become Hashimoto's.

"There is nothing really that doctors can prescribe for Hashie's ...they can treat some of the symptoms but there is nothing they can do for the disease itself. There are a lot of unpleasant side effects of Hashie's and one of them is bouts of uncontrollable anger ... or even rage.

"Not everyone who gets Hashie's will get the same set of symptoms but you are just dead unlucky Greg ... you married someone who gets these wild mood-swings and periods of rage ... and you got a pretty fair dose of that right in the face that morning at Kalya.

"Sometimes, now that I know what to look for, I can feel that rage coming on and I can do things to protect those around me from some of the vitriol that I spray around ... but sometimes it just pops out of my mouth without any warning.

"Sometimes I can go for months without it happening and then I might have problems for a couple of days in a row. And the really sad part is that even if they get my thyroid under control, it still won't stop me from suffering from the effects of Hashie's ... it may lessen them, but it won't make them go away completely."

Greg began to realise what a total wimp he really was ... what she had said to him that day should have slid off him like water off a duck's back but instead he had chosen to be offended ... even hurt ... by it and run away just when she really needed him the most.

Suddenly he needed a break, this was emotionally heavy and he felt that they would both collapse under the pressure if they didn't stop for a few minutes.

"I don't know about you but I need a drink, what would you like my ... Helen." He was about to say 'my love' a simple phrase that he had often used when they had been talking before the split ... and she had heard the stumble.

Her eyes stayed dark and almost lifeless ... not even the hint of a slight hope ... she didn't dare let herself even think of hope.

"I don't suppose you have the makings for a flat white, do you?" She had become a fan of that style of coffee years before she had ever heard of Kalya and for a moment Greg was taken back to those days and he had to use his breathing to stop himself from crying.

"I do ... I have one of those fancy pod machines."

While he was making the coffee she got up from her chair and went over to the big window that looked out across the veranda to the ridge that she had driven over to reach the house.

She may have been looking at the window but her mind wasn't on the view. What she was really thinking about what she had seen in the house. She may not have taken much in consciously when Greg had shown her in but now she was recalling what her sub-conscious had absorbed.

It was neat and tidy, quite modern and functional with a large living room with an island bench to divide the room from the kitchen. She had seen two bedrooms and their doors had been open; in the smaller one she had seen a desk and a PC so he was obviously using this as his office,

The larger bedroom had a double bed in it ... did he share it with another woman? There were books and some magazines beside the lounge chair he had chosen to sit in ... so did anyone sit in the chair she had been using?

And then she realised that she had seen the obvious sign that he wasn't sharing this house with anyone ... but it hadn't registered until now. On one wall there was an enlarged and framed photo ... it must have been one that he had on his phone when he left.

It was a photo of her in a fairly modest bikini ... she was laughing and smiling at him as she stood by the pool. It was enough to make her start crying again.

"Do you live here by yourself?" she asked as she turned to take the proffered mug of coffee.

"Do you still sleep with Alex?" he asked in reply.

She accepted the slight rebuke and a smile could have touched the corners of her mouth, "Not as much as I used to."

That response surprised Greg. He expected that, once he left, she would never be out of his bed, but he had no direct knowledge of what the arrangements might have been. He hadn't asked Amy and she had not volunteered any information.

"I live here by myself," he said simply. She could fish for any further information if she wanted it.

"What do you do with your days?"

"Both the fencing and drilling work comes and goes but it's enough to keep a roof over my head and food in the pantry. I also play the stock market during those times when there's not that much work around."

"I bet the fencing and drilling is hard work ... you're certainly looking good Greg. You're perhaps the fittest that I have ever seen you."

"I see you're still working too ... and you're still looking every bit as good."

She smiled and for a moment he was sure that he saw a flash in her eyes, "Don't tell me you're a member?" How else would he have seen her work and she kicked herself for not checking the membership lists for Kalya's websites

"No," he said as he turned away and went back to his seat, "watching the promo clips is torture enough."

Helen followed him back to her seat and he waited till she sat down before asking, "Why did you bring a bag with you?"

"I thought that there might be a chance of me staying somewhere if I needed more time to convince you to come home. I guess I'll carry it down the road to the motel if I have to." He would never let her do that, but it didn't really matter, he knew that there were no vacancies in town this weekend.

"I'm afraid that the motel, and every other room in town is booked out this weekend. There's some sort of pedal power group in town for a weekend of riding some of the trails around here. But you're welcome to have my bed ... there's a blow-up mattress in the spare room and I'll sleep there."

"You mean you don't want to sleep with a sexy pornstar?" she asked with a wry smile.

"I thought that it might be more the case that you wouldn't want to sleep with a pornstar's wimpy husband."

"I've never thought of you as a wimp Greg ... you didn't know what was wrong with me and it must have looked as though I was almost abandoning you in favour of Alex and trying to either drive you away or turn you into my minion."

Greg knew that what Helen was saying was true, but it didn't make him feel any better and he wondered where that left them.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but I was wondering what happened between you and Alex? You said that you weren't sleeping with him as much as you used to ..."

"Of course I will tell you Greg," Helen said softly. "you have a right to know everything about me so don't be afraid to ask questions.

"When you left town I didn't go near work for almost a month. I felt so down that I could hardly drag myself out of bed and finally Amy and Adele almost carried me to our doctor's surgery. Among other things he sent me for some blood tests and discovered that I had issues with my thyroid.