We rode the short distance to the bar and I parked the bike in front. I dismounted, walked to the door and held it open for Mom. As she walked up to me she seemed to come to a sudden decision. With a very serious look on her face she stopped directly in front of me, and looked me in the eye.
"This is probably going to sound very strange to you baby." She started very slowly and somewhat self-consciously. "But, if it's alright with you, lets make this like it's a real date. You just treat me like I'm a gal your out for a night on the town with and I'll treat you like you're my guy." She continued with an uncertain smile.
She seemed to figure that I was going to object to her suggestion and she continued urgently, "I know it sounds strange, perverse maybe, for a young man to take his old mother on a date, and I wouldn't blame you for telling me to take my idea and stuff it. But believe me if you do this, I will make it worth your while."
She realized how that last statement sounded and a flush crossed her face before she amended it with, "What I mean is I'm sure you'll enjoy it."
That last statement of hers was little better than the first and I had to chuckle, "So your going make it worth my while are you huh? Don't make any promises you can live up too sweetheart."
Actually, to tell the truth the prospect of play-acting a date with Mom sounded a bit exciting to me. Mom was a very attractive woman and I always wanted to date someone like her, so why not her. The fact that I wouldn't be getting into her pants at the end of the night was a bit of a given. But the reality that I would be the envy of every guy in the place was also a given.
"Sounds like a blast to me Mom." I gushed with a certain level of excitement in my voice.
"And for gods sake don't call me Mom. My name is Sarah, just call me that, or baby, or honey, or sexy but not Mom." She said with a mischievous smile. Then she added with a wink, "I definitely prefer 'sexy' by the way."
I felt the excitement of the play and stammered, "Sure M... I mean sexy."
"That's my boy." She said with a grin and then she leaned forward and placed a warm kiss on my lips.
We walked through a second set of doors and into the dimly lit interior of Sonny's bar. The place was almost empty. A couple of the local denizens sat at the bar nursing drinks and watching the TV.
The bartender was behind the bar cleaning glasses, as we walked toward the bar he looked up and said, "Hey Kenny, good to see ya."
"A regular here huh?' Mom said under her breath.
"Be quiet wench." I replied and I grabbed her by the ass.
This elicited a glare from her and she mouthed, "Watch it!" at me.
I stepped up to the bar and the bartender placed a coaster in front of me. "Ya want the usual?" He said as he slipped a coaster in front of Mom.
"Naw Fred, I'm riding instead of driving tonight. Just make it a Budweiser." I responded.
"So you're riding your Milwaukee vibrator tonight huh?" He said with a grin, "That should be fun for your lovely date here."
He pulled a Bud from the cooler, popped the cap and put it down in front of me. Then he turned to my mother and asked, "What would the lovely lady like to drink?"
"The lovely lady would love a Margarita on the rocks, no salt. And, if you have it, make it with Cuervo Gold and use Grand Marnier in place of Triple Sec." She said with a grin.
"I have and I will." Fred replied as he pulled a bucket from the glass rack and filled it with ice.
While Fred mixed her drink Mom turned to me and asked "Milwaukee vibrator? What's that?"
Overhearing her, Fred interjected before I could respond, "Milwaukee vibrator, also know as a Harley Davidson Motorcycle. Probably the largest and most expensive sex toy in the world. Guaranteed to bring satisfaction to even the most difficult to please women."
He looked up from building the drink to look appraisingly at my mother, then he grinned and said with a laugh, "Gotcha huh?
His humorous laugh made me sit up and take notice. I looked appraisingly at Mom and realized that she was practically glowing red with embarrassment.
"Don't worry," Fred said, "I won't tell anybody if Kenny doesn't." Then he put the margarita in front of Mom and said, "Drinks on the house."
"Thank you." Mom said as she lifted the drink to her lips. "Very good." She exclaimed.
"Why thank you." Fred said with a little bow as he walked away.
I put a fiver on the bar and motioned Mom to a booth in the back of the bar. As I walked toward the booth with Mom in tow I said over my shoulder, "Could you make us a couple of burgers with everything? No hurry, just when you get a chance."
"Sure thing, be right on it." Fred replied from behind us.
I let Mom sit down and then slid in across from her. "Why are you sitting so far away? Come on ever here baby so we can talk." She said sweetly.
I slid in next to her, lifted my beer to my lips and took a sip, and then I put my hand on hers and gave it a small, gentle squeeze. "It's alright Mom, I mean Sarah."
"What is?" She stammered.
"Enjoying the ride." I said with a chuckle and a leering grin. "Made ya wet, huh?" I continued with an evil chuckle.
"Yeah, it did." She reluctantly admitted. Then she cast me an evil look and continued, "But he didn't have to be so pointed in his statement." She huffed.