Belinda's Tale

Belinda was however, annoyed that Tony didn't call later that night or the next morning. She called his house only to be greeted by his answering machine and hung up without leaving a message. She wondered if he was jealous, if her brazenness with the janitor and her pleasure in using him was more than he could bear. The possibility both pissed her off and tickled her humour. It had been his fantasy; his idea and he had pressured her, while she was drunk, into doing it. He just hadn't expected her to enjoy herself quite so much.

By Saturday afternoon she had given up on Tony and rang Julia to see what her friend was doing. They agreed to meet for dinner and she spent the afternoon shopping, buying a new suit for work, an outfit for going out that night and almost as an afterthought, three lingerie outfits. The thought of meeting the janitor again was a tantalising one and she wanted to be dressed for him.

***

'You've got to get yourself a man Belle!' Julia giggled. 'Then again so do I!'

Belinda laughed along with her friend, wondering how Julia would react if she told her that at the moment she had two men, one of whom had a huge cock!

'I mean, you've been slaving away at work, and doing well at it from what I hear around the office, but you must be in desperate need for a good fuck!' They joined in raucous laughter and Julia unwound herself from her sofa and went in search of drinks. They had been at her house for a couple of hours, deciding that a couple of bottles of wine at home after dinner was a better option that trawling bars.

Julia returned with another bottle of red and poured two more glasses, slopping the liquid onto the glass top of the coffee table.

'Careful girl.'

'Ah, I'll lick it up later.'

'I don't doubt it.' Belinda picked up her glass. 'Now tell me, what the hell is happening between you and Troy?'

'Nothing, like I told you. I think he likes me, and I kinda like him, but in all honesty he's not my type in the long term sense. But don't go changing the subject. Why the hell are you doing everything wrong to find a man?'

'I'm not...'

'You're not doing anything right, is what you're doing. Or not doing. Or whatever.' Julia waved her glass around and Belinda thought more wine was about to be spilt. Julia's insistence on talking about her apparent lack of a love life was beginning to bug her. 'If you would just trust me a little more, I could set you up with Troy. He's your type...'

'How would you know what type I like?'

'That's true,' Julia continued after a short pause. 'Given that I've never met any man you like...' she stopped abruptly, staring at Belinda. 'You're not gay are you?'

'No!' Belinda snapped.

'Hey, I mean it's okay if you are...'

'I'm not!'

'Alrighty then, if you're sure. Cos I know this woman...'

'For God's sake Julia, I'm not gay and I'm not interested in Troy because I've got someone if you must know!' The words blurted out almost as though of their own accord. Belinda was surprised to feel as though a weight had been lifted from her chest.

'What? You've got someone? Bullshit!' Julia had almost fallen off her seat in excitement.

'Who is it, someone I know?'

'Yes, I mean no.'

'What, yes or no, do I know him?' A look of disbelief crossed Julia's face. 'You're making this up so I stop hassling you aren't you dear?'

'No, I have someone and no you don't know him.' Belinda felt her annoyance returning.

'Bullshit. I don't believe you.' They stared at each other until Belinda felt her willpower weaken.

'Fuck it Jules, it's Tony.' Julia's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Belinda couldn't help but laugh at her friend's expression.

'Tony, from work?'

'Yes.'

'So I do know him?'

'Yes, obviously.'

'I didn't think you were the type Belle.' Julia's tone carried a note of disapproval and stung Belinda.

'What the fuck does that mean?'

'Well, I mean, you don't seem the type to have an affair.'

'Oh for fuck's sake,' Belinda rolled her eyes. 'I can't help it if the man I like works with me at a place with old fashioned values, but that hardly constitutes an affair.'

'What?' Julia looked confused.

'I know Derek doesn't like workplace relationships...'

'What the fuck are you talking about?' Julia cut her off. 'Derek couldn't give a rat's arse about who's fucking who in the office, though I suspect he wouldn't be impressed that you're fucking a married man.' The words sobered Belinda up quicker than being dropped into a bath full of ice water.

'What?' She was barely able to speak the words. A look of horror crossed Julia's face as they looked at each other.

'You don't know...?' Belinda shook her head. 'Oh fuck, what a prick. Tony told you that shit about Derek's disapproving didn't he?' She nodded. A yawning chasm was opening up under her and she felt sick.

'But I've been to his house.'

'She doesn't live here, she lives in Mildura and looks after her invalid parents. He goes up most weekends to see her...you probably don't see him much on weekends do you?' It was true, apart from the occasional Friday night and the weekend on the lake, their time together had mostly been during the week. 'I'm a fling to him. A toy. That meant the whole janitor thing was a...well I don't know what it was, a power trip, designed to humiliate her or make him feel better about himself?'

'Oh Belle, I'm so sorry,' Julia's arm slid around her shoulder and she let her friend hold her.

'What a fucking idiot I've been,' she whispered. They sat in silence for a while.

'Do you love him?'

'No.' She didn't, that was true. 'But I like him a lot. Liked I mean.'

'Christ was a clever bastard he's been. He had to know that sooner or later someone in the office would find out.'

'But I guess he's been having fun in the meantime. At my expense.' A tear formed in the corner of her eye and Belinda wiped it away angrily. 'You know he said you turned him down.'

'Yeah I did and I let him know that married men weren't my thing.'

'Ah. Such information would've helped me just a little!'

'If I'd known, I'd've told you. But you are one hell of a secret keeper! Remind me to tell you all mine, at least when I get some worth sharing.'

'I will.' Belinda sniffled. 'And thanks for telling me now.'

'That's okay. More wine?'

'Nah, I think I want to go home.'

***

Despite the distress and anger she felt over the remainder of the weekend, Monday was even more difficult for Belinda. She saw Tony in the office kitchen and had to breathe deeply to keep her cool and not confront him then and there. Instead she dropped a note on his desk telling him to meet her in the foyer after work. The rest of the day dragged on and she was unable to concentrate on work.

Finally five o'clock rolled around and she almost flew from the office, leaving Pam to finish up. Tony was ten minutes late and breezed past her without acknowledging her presence. There were two other co-workers nearby and she smiled grimly at the pretence he kept up so well. She followed him down the street until she could see no one behind them.

'Tony!' He stopped and looked back past her, then seemed to relax when he saw the coast was clear. He moved to kiss her and she let his lips brush hers, then they walked towards Southbank.

'Where'd you get to Friday night?' It wasn't how she had planned to start. She had planned to launch a scathing attack, but having had the whole day to think, she had decided to continue the game a bit longer. She had come to realise that her anger was at the deception he had carried out, not that he was married. She didn't love him, wasn't falling in love with him. She was hurt by his lies and wanted to ensure he knew why when she told him.

'I thought you looked like you were having fun and I thought I'd best disappear before young Romeo wanted to clean the next office.'

'I thought you might call me, you know, tell me what you thought.'

'It was pretty hot,' he admitted. They had crossed the Yarra River and were surrounded by throngs working their way home.

'Did you come?' She looked up at him as she asked the question. He looked startled and glanced around to see if anyone was watching.

'Later,' he admitted.

'Good.' She drew in a deep breath. 'Did you think about me while you were fucking your wife on Saturday?' Tony stopped and stared at her, his expression frozen. It was sort of what she had expected. He had to know that she was going to find out one day. But then he smiled, a reaction she hadn't expected.

'We didn't fuck on Saturday, she was too tired. We made love on Sunday morning instead.' He turned and started to walk again and she was forced to trot to keep up.

'What are you doing?' She grabbed his arm and forced him to stop.

'Let go!' he snapped and two people glanced at them. 'This isn't the place.'

'Where is?' He stared at her then sighed and glanced down at his watch.

'Come to my place at seven. We can talk then.'

'No...'

'I'm not doing this here Belinda. My place or no place.' Abruptly he turned and forged a path into the crowd.

'Fuck,' she said. She contemplated chasing him, but the initiative was already lost. Instead she set out for home.

***

She knocked on his door at seven fifteen, the late fifteen minutes designed to lull him into a sense that she may not have been coming at all. He opened the door dressed in a robe, a glass of wine in one hand and offered his most disarming smile. Belinda refused to respond and pushed past him and walked to the living room. A second glass was out, waiting for her and she felt another stab of anger at his arrogance.

'Tony, I didn't come here to drink wine and chat amiably about the weather...'

'Okay, that's fine, but I didn't want to be accused of arrogance by not offering you a glass. I still like you a lot you know.'

'What? How can you say that when you were fucking your wife yesterday?'

'Because it's true. Wendy knows...'

'I don't need to know her fucking name...' Belinda snapped and immediately regretted the implied jealousy.

'Well that's her name. I'm sorry I didn't tell you...'

'Sorry you didn't tell me' Belinda interrupted, unable to hide the incredulity she felt. 'What about what you did to your wife?'

'She knows.' Belinda stopped as though she had been slapped. 'Wendy knows. We've agreed that I can have casual relationships here.'

'What?'

'I'm allowed to...'

'I heard,' she snapped. Her head reeled. Her being a casual relationship fitted with his "fantasy"; voyeurism and putting her to work just met his need.

'Well its over,' she said. When he just shrugged she pushed past him and stormed out, slamming the front door behind her. She felt deflated and used, while at the same time part of her acknowledged that she had enjoyed her time with him. No one had been hurt, except her pride. 'How the hell can a woman let her husband have sex with another woman? What kind of relationship was that?'

Belinda's sleep that night was filled with dreams that she couldn't recall but left her feeling empty and listless the next morning.

***

'Tonight couldn't come fast enough.' Belinda raised her drink to Julia who smiled back and returned the toast.

'Well, if there's one thing that can cure the blues, it's a drunken party!'

'Well its Saturday night and I just got paid...' Belinda sang. They began to break into chorus when the doorbell rang.

'Someone's early,' Belinda exclaimed.

'That'll be Troy,' Julia winked.

'Ooh, looking to make an early, sober impression huh?'

'It's not me that should be making an impression, Belle,' Julia shot back over her shoulder as she went to answer the door.

Belinda grinned. 'Troy is cute and Julia seems to be giving me all the signals that she's not that interested. But the last thing I need right now is to start another relationship.' Then Julia re-entered the room with Troy in tow. 'Then again maybe I do need it.'

'Hi Belinda,' Troy greeted her with a bright smile. They exchanged pleasantries while Julia poured him a drink. Belinda found herself flirting with Troy, despite herself.

By midnight she was thoroughly drunk, standing alone in Julia's backyard and on the verge of sinking into a mire of self-pity. Partly it was the fact that Tony had used her, but mainly it was the fact that she genuinely liked him. That she had been willing to explore her sexual fantasies with him told her more than anything else that she had been falling for him. She felt violated, yet part of her knew that she had let herself be violated. She hadn't asked him about his attachments, she had made the first move and made it clear she wanted sex, and at the outset she had not intended for things to develop further. He had never really indicated his feelings for her. And she had accepted the whole secrecy at work idea without question.

Belinda wandered back into the party, noting that the crowd had begun to thin out, mixed herself another drink and tried to mingle as best she could. At around two in the morning she said good night to Julia and let herself into the spare bedroom that Julia had offered. She was too drunk to drive home regardless, but in reality she didn't want to wake up with a hangover and be alone the next morning. She quickly undressed and slipped on a pair of satin boxer shorts and a thin cotton tee shirt that she favoured for sleeping. Within seconds of her head hitting the pillow she was asleep.

At three she awoke with a pressing need to pee. Slipping from under the covers she left the light off and carefully opened her bedroom door, unsure as to whether the party was still going on. The house was silent and dark so she padded down the hall towards the back of the house. At the end of the hall she stopped abruptly, hearing the soft sounds of lovemaking. Although the house was dark, sufficient light shone through the rear French windows to illuminate Julia and Troy on the sofa.

Not wanting to interrupt them, Belinda quickly backtracked and relieved herself in the ensuite off Julia's bedroom. As she stepped cautiously into the hallway, across from the door to her room, the memory of Julia topless in her ensuite rose in Belinda's mind. She felt her heart skip a beat, then felt a stab of anger towards Tony. It was his influence that made her want to slip down the hall and watch what was happening; a few months ago it wouldn't have crossed her mind.

A soft moan reached her ears and her anger was swept away in a rising tide of lust. Again she moved down the hall, pressing her back against the wall so as not to be seen. Julia was sitting with her back to Belinda, astride Troy who was lying on the sofa. Both of their shirts were gone and as Julia moved Belinda could just make out the curve of her breast. She was rubbing oil onto Troy's chest and his skin was glistening in the moonlight. Julia leaned forward and her breasts brushed his chest, then their mouths met. Troy's arms encircled Julia and pulled her down on top of him and as she leant further forward Belinda realised that Julia was naked. Her buttocks were rounded and firm and Belinda watched as Troy's hands moved lower and stroked them, his fingers tracing along the edges of her crack.

Julia began to rise and fall rhythmically on Troy's lap and Belinda found herself taking another risk and edging slightly past the end of the hallway to improve her view. What she saw was Troy's hard shaft, glistening with juices, appear and disappear into Julia as she moved. Belinda could see Julia's outer lips being pulled and pushed as they gripped his shaft and felt her own juices responding at the vision.

She could hear their heavy breathing and the occasional wet sound as their mouths broke apart. A low groan from Julia sent shivers through her and set her heart pounding. Her nipples hardened and Belinda was conscious of them as they brushed against the cotton material. Julia and Troy's breathing was becoming louder and faster now and Belinda found herself frozen in place, wanting to leave and feeling ashamed at her spying, but enormously turned on and wanting to see more.

Julia moved so quickly that Belinda had no time to slip into the shadows. She simply slipped from Troy's lap, then spun around to remount him facing the other way. And therefore facing Belinda. Julia was looking down as she mounted him and Belinda watched as she reached between her legs, grabbed Troy's shaft and guided herself onto it. Belinda moved back into the hall as Julia looked up, but she knew that she hadn't moved quickly enough when she saw Julia's eyes open wide. The polite, well-mannered "normal" part of her brain screamed at Belinda to walk away and return to her room. She could easily explain to Julia that she had just walked in on her way to the toilet.

But that newly discovered primitive part of the brain that let lust take control told her to remain, to look around the corner and watch the scene. From where she now stood she could neither see nor be seen, but she could hear and what she heard told her that Julia and Troy were still making love. If Julia had been embarrassed or angry, she would have stopped what she was doing, instead it sounded as if she was continuing and increasing the pace of their lovemaking, if the sound of flesh on flesh was anything to go by.

Belinda took a small step forward and looked back into the room, knowing that she was changing her relationship with her friend forever. Julia's eyes widened again momentarily, but then narrowed and a faint smile curled the corners of her mouth upwards. The two women locked eyes and Belinda saw her own lust mirrored in the brunette's gaze. Belinda let her eyes wander down across Julia's breasts that were swaying with each movement. She felt an overwhelming desire to walk to the sofa and touch them and the thought made her mouth go dry. She licked her lips involuntarily and then looked at her friend's face just as Julia exploded into climax.

'Oh fuck!' Julia exclaimed, her head dropping forward, her hair obscuring her upper body as she came. Then she arched back, revealing herself in full, Belinda noting the tightness in her stomach and abdomen, the points of her nipples, then she heard Troy grunting and knew that he was coming inside Julia. Belinda turned and almost ran to her bedroom, turned on to an extreme and reluctant to remain in sight as the lovers came down from the pre-orgasmic high.

In the darkness of her room she was keenly aware of the blood pumping through her ears and the buzz of her clitoris. Throwing herself onto her bed she slid her hand inside her boxers and flicked the tip of her forefinger onto her clit. The buzz grew immediately and by simply picturing Julia's body, her head thrown back in ecstasy as she came, Belinda climaxed. She bit down on her lip to remain silent, aware that they might be standing right outside her door. That thought sent her crashing into a second orgasm on top of the first, her first multiple orgasm that forced a small whimper from her throat. Belinda writhed on the bed and ended up being dragged from the pleasurable waves as her legs tangled in the sheet.

As her breathing returned to normal she was aware of the sweat between her breasts. Thirty seconds later she fell into a deep sleep.

***

It was well after ten when Belinda woke up. She was confused as to where she was, but then the flood of memories returned, the party, her self-pity over Tony and most of all the scene with Julia and Troy. She squirmed in embarrassment and the knowledge that she now had to go and face the two of them in the broad light of day. And with a hangover.

She postponed the inevitable by lying in bed and thinking through her situation. Having broken company rules by having an affair with a co-worker, she had also broken her own rules by getting involved with a married man. Although she hadn't known that fact, she had made no effort to find out about Tony's life. And now, to top it all off, she had performed a lewd and completely overt act of voyeurism on her one and only true friend. She thought briefly about resigning from her job and returning to Sydney.