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*****
My name's Dan Zander. I've been working as a journalist since I graduated from college. For a long time I covered local news for local newspapers, basically hopping from one sinking ship to the next.
Fifteen years ago I got a break, and for a while now I've been in the jet set, working for Rolling Stone. Traveling around the world, reviewing concerts and festivals, interviewing rock stars. Tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.
It was probably my eighth trip to Japan. I'm guessing. But I think that's right. Mostly I'm going back and forth between countries in the English-speaking world. The US, the UK, Germany, Sweden, places like that - where everybody speaks English, where the folks who write the hits live.
Lots of folks writing hits in Japan, of course, but they're in Japanese, and they're not hits outside of Japan. So they send me to Japan now and then to do this occasional fucking Orientalist kind of thing - "aren't these Japanese musicians exotic and insular" is the angle they're looking for. "My, they play their instruments well, but they don't seem to have many original ideas." People eat that shit up.
The fact is that everybody's ripping everybody off in the music business, but if Japanese rock stars rip off English rock stars, it must be because they're Oriental and thus unable to come up with an original thought, unlike everybody else who is so fucking brilliant. It's all bullshit, and I try not to play into it too much, but if you've ever worked in this business you know that that doesn't matter - the editors do what the editors do. They'll make your shit shine how they want to, once you've provided for them the raw materials.
Anyway, point is I don't come to Japan that much, so every time I do, it feels a bit new. Which is a nice feeling. It's too easy to get completely cynical. Anything fresh is good. My assignment was also something different.
Actually fairly unique. I don't have any plans to start my own magazine or anything. I guess I'm not wildly ambitious, not looking for the next rung up the ladder anymore. But if I were a younger reporter with such ambitions, I'd probably have been freaking out right about now.
I was on an assignment to go to the mountains of Yamaguchi prefecture to interview Robert Zerzinski, aka Donor X. The closest I had ever been to Yamaguchi was probably Osaka. Which is nowhere near Yamaguchi. Rock stars don't live in Yamaguchi. Japanese rock stars, as a rule, seem to grow up near a US military base in Okinawa, and then they move to Tokyo to be famous.
But Donor X, as he is still better-known than by his real name, lives in Yamaguchi, so that's where I was going. He's not a rock star, either. But his life is about as rock star as would be possible to imagine, if you remove the electric guitar and the touring from the equation.
The trip from Tokyo to Fukuoka to Yamaguchi felt like a trip through time as well as space. First of all, anyone who thinks Paris or London or Beijing are the most fashionable, cosmopolitan cities on Earth, has clearly never been to Tokyo.
Just stand on any train platform in the city, and it's like being on the fucking catwalk - one shockingly beautiful young woman after another walking past, each centimeter of her body immaculately put together, each movement of her body as graceful as you could imagine, regardless of the height of the heels.
Even there at Narita airport, quite a ways from the actual city, in what was recently hotly-contested farmland, it was easy to see who was from Tokyo and who was just transiting on to some other Asian destination - which a lot of people at Narita are doing.
I mean forget about the obese Americans, you can spot them a mile away. But just between the Asians you can see it: If there's a piece of clothing that doesn't quite fit perfectly, or something that looks a little too shiny, or someone's walking who doesn't seem 100% at ease in very high heels, invariably, they're Chinese or Korean or Filipino or something else. They're not from Tokyo.
The Tokyo women are easy to recognize. If they seem to have achieved an inhuman degree of physical perfection, if they move within the space around them as you imagine an angel might, if an angel were on Earth trying to blend in with the regular people, then they're almost definitely from Tokyo.
Then flying from there most of the way to the other end of Japan's main island, it's like turning back the clock about fifty years. Not that I was even alive fifty years ago. (At least not quite.) For the most part, heels, tight jeans, leather shorts paired with long stockings, women dressed up as Lolita, none of that kind of thing was in evidence.
In fact, you just didn't see many young people at all. They say Japan is an aging country, and now, for the first time, I could see what they meant.
Among the middle-aged and elderly majority of the local population there was a refreshing lack of obesity. In fact, I realized with some discomfort as I looked around at my middle-aged peers as I boarded the Shinkansen at Fukuoka airport, my lack of a flat stomach, along with the fact that I don't have black hair, made me really stick out. But compared with Tokyo, folks around here looked like they had just thrown on whatever frumpy sweater their mother gave them for Christmas last December.
I didn't have much time to get used to my new surroundings before I reached the mountain outside of the ancient port town of Hagi, home to Donor X and his Temple of Purification. I had taken a cab from the train station to the parking lot at the base of the mountain.
The parking lot was an incongruous mix of local people with little knapsacks on, clearly dressed for a day hike in the woods, and beautiful young Japanese women, mostly very young, dressed in a variety of outfits, with a clear emphasis on light-colored dresses. Sort of adult versions of the kinds of simple dresses that very young girls can often be seen wearing in the warmer weather back home in the US.
It was a crisp day in early spring. But in Japan, young women almost never let the weather get in the way of whatever they want to wear. And clearly, these women were going for the Innocent Look. Though, in typical Japanese fashion, beneath the Innocent Dresses could be seen the sorts of stockings that somehow smacked of something less than innocent.
I had heard that the Temple was on the top of the mountain, and that the only way to get there was on foot. So rather than traveling with my usual four-wheeled suitcase, I had taken a backpack for this trip.
I did a lot of backpacking as a teenager. Exactly none since becoming a journalist. Though I kept my old backpack, fantasizing occasionally about doing that thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail that I aborted one summer in between my first and second years of college, when I sprained my ankle after slipping on a wet rock somewhere in western Massachusetts.
People in the parking lot were coming and going in different directions. Several of them were heading up the hill. All the signs were in Japanese, and I knew better than to try to ask anyone a question in English. That just tends to make Japanese people nervous, but with no useful results. (They all study English in school for ten years or so, but almost none of them actually learn how to speak the language for some reason, it turns out.) I just followed the crowd.
Partway up the mountain the trail came to a Y-shaped intersection. All the locals in their practical clothing went to the left, and all the young women went to the right. I followed the women. One of them noticed me following the group, turned full around, smiled a beautiful, shy smile, and, with a twinkle in her eye that looked as if it had been added by a touch-up artist, said, "hello."
She was practicing her English. I knew this drill. Respond as expected and it'll be OK.
"Hello," I responded.
She lagged from the rest of the group to walk closer to me. She seemed unusually bold for a girl barely out of high school. I liked her immediately for that alone.
"How are you?" she asked me.
I knew that was going to be the next question, and I knew the response she expected. It's pretty much the same in any country where you know people don't generally speak much English, but they want to give it a shot.
"Well, and you?"
She looked momentarily puzzled. "Well?" she repeated. "Ah, so, well! Well. Sorry. I'm fine."
Fine