Accustomed to Her Face

Our Miss Brooks

You came home early. You didn't feel like going to any more classes. You couldn't face school. The world had been drained of color.

You hung your scarf in the front hall. You left your sweater on the bench. You willed your leaden feet up the stairs and down the long hall to your bedroom door.

You took off your clothes in your room and put on your flannel nightgown. You walked into your bathroom to pee. You slid your panties off and threw them in the sink. You pulled the sink's stopper lever. You turned on the cold water and, as it filled the basin, soaking your panties, you watched it slowly turning pink. You turned off the water. You stood in silence looking down.

You had gotten your period.

You peed. You climbed into your bed. You lay under the covers. Lost.

You didn't cry.

You didn't cry.

You didn't cry.

The early afternoon light shifted as the hours passed.

There was a tap at the door. "Little Miss." Margaret's voice.

"Little Miss..." from the door opened just a crack.

"Yes, Margaret." Your own voice sounded harsh and grating to yourself.

"Little Miss, there's a package for you."

"Thank you, Margaret, I'll look at it later."

"I -- I'll leave it here for you."

"Very well. Thank you, Margaret."

You could hear her placing something heavy-ish by the hearth.

You heard the door gently close.

You could barely move. You ached. You sighed.

How would you bear telling me? How could you look me in the eye?

You didn't cry.

You heard something. It was a scratching. It was coming from the direction of the hearth.

You forced yourself to sit up. You looked over at the box on the hearth.

It was open. It was a heavy cardboard box. It had been covered in flowered wrapping paper, but it had no top and there was pale green fabric inside.

There came a thumping and scratching from inside the box. You were so alarmed and intrigued, you momentarily forgot about your grief.

And then there was a whimper from the box.

"What the..."

You suddenly felt like a child on Christmas morning. The ache in your heart was giving way to excitement. You got out of bed and slowly approached the thumping, scratching, whimpering box and peered over its edge into the open top.

Two dark eyes stared back up at you. The eyes were set in a dark, fuzzy face. A black nose. Pointy ears. The creature sat down and lifted a paw. It was a Scottish Terrier puppy and you were instantly in love.

You picked it up gently and it licked your face. It was trembling. You knelt there cradling it in your arms.

It was time to cry.

Silently.

And you held its paws, feeling the little pads. It licked the salty tears from your face.

You cried and cried and cried and cried. Until you felt cleansed and tired and the weight had lifted from your shoulders.

The little creature had lain almost still in your cradling arms. But now it squirmed and struggled and you giggled as you put it down.

It promptly squatted on the hearth and made a puddle on the marble.

You laughed and picked it up, holding it at a distance and running into your bathroom. Where to put it... where to put it... in the tub... and you turned back to the sink.

You stared at the pale pink water. You sighed and slowly shook your head. You thought to yourself, "It will just have to wait a while. It's probably better this way. Still -- It's hard to let go of. And Shujin will be so disappointed." You slowly rinsed out the underwear. You hung them on a towel rail. You drained the sink. You grabbed a roll of paper towel and ran to sop up the puddle -- which wasn't really very big at all.

You came back into your bathroom and rinsed and dried off the little shivering animal. You held it close, nuzzling its head with your nose. It licked your face and barked a tiny bark.

"Oh my, you are probably hungry," you said, and carried it to your bed. It immediately started sniffing around while you put on your robe.

You picked the puppy up and held it in the crook of your arm while you looked back in its box. There was a card. It read: "My Little Girl -- Our Miss Brooks followed me home. Can we keep her? Love, Daddy"

You caressed the card gently and whispered as the little dog licked your chin, "Yes, Daddy. Thank you."

You went down the back stairs to the kitchen. You wanted to thank Margaret. As you ran into the kitchen she looked up from the table and Louise turned from her cooking. They beamed at you, responding to your joy, and, of course, soon the three of you were fussing and giggling and awing over the little dog. Miss Brooks was drinking in the attention, nibbling on your fingers.

"Look, she's hungry..." said Louise, and she ran to the pantry for a bowl. Soon the little dog was lapping up some of the goat's milk Margaret kept on hand for her digestion.

"What do we do with her? I mean -- what do we feed her and do we take her for walks or what?" You asked.

"We should put newspaper down for her to pee on, I think," said Margaret.

"You should look up what to do, Little Miss," said Louise. "Google it."

"Great idea."

"Wait a sec. This package came from Amazon for you this morning."

You opened the package. Dog books. "Oh, Daddy!" You said.

The girls giggled. "He is pretty good, isn't he?" said Margaret.

"Oh -- you have no idea," you said. And you all laughed.

"It's nearly dinner time, leave Miss Brooks with us. You should find him."

"Yes, of course." You found me at my piano. I smiled up at you and you sat on my lap.

Your pale rose flannel nighty had lace around its v-neckline and sleeves and had pink ribbon criss-crossed over the bodice. It looked vaguely like a Renaissance dress and you were fetching in it. Your pink heavy cotton bathrobe was the one I gave you for Christmas.

You kissed me. "Thank you for Miss Brooks. It was so sweet of you, Daddy."

"Then you approve?"

"Yes, Sir." And you hugged me.

I chuckled, "Good -- I'm glad."

"Daddy..." you said, sitting back up.

"Yes, Little Girl."

Your eyes teared up. "I... I got my period."

You saw the shift in my expression. "Oh, I see."

You threw your arms around my neck and buried your face in my neck and wept. "I'm sorry, Shujin. I'm sorry. You still love me, right, Shujin?"

I sputtered, "Oh, good grief, yes. I'm just sad about it." I sniffed. "I have mixed emotions, little girl. I feel like it would really be too soon to have a child. You need to finish school. I want you to be more independent first. But it was such a beautiful and romantic idea -- and I think that someday, it will be wonderful for us to do. Even knowing all this, I'm sad. I want to have a child together."

You hugged me tighter. I held you close for a long time as you wept. "I love you Daddy."

"I love you too, Little Girl."

"Someday."

"Yes, my love. Someday."

"You're right. I'm not ready. I know that. I just wanted something..."

"I know -- of your own."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry too, Little Girl. But in a few years. It will be a better time."

You sniffed. I dried your eyes with my handkerchief. You used it to blow your nose. "Yes. I know you're right."

You took my right hand and held it up, pressing your left hand fingertips against the tips of my fingers. You were thoughtful and quiet and we sat together, fingers touching, you on my lap -- until you sighed. "Thank you, Shujin."

"I love you, Konekochan. I will do my best to care for you."

"I know." You hugged me again, holding me close. "I know you will. I know you do." You sat up again, "But there's only so much you can do."

"Yes, darling..."

"The truth is, Daddy, there's only so much of myself I show you. How can you help me with what you don't even know about? Like, part of the reason I kept my -- my fertility a secret, I think, is maybe because that way I felt like I had control of it. It's not that I didn't trust you. It's that I didn't trust the world." You fiddled with my hair. "When you've lost everything you love, it's hard to trust the world again."

"Yes, Little Girl."

"And you don't tell me everything. I know that. And I know I could help you too." You kissed my forehead and hugged me again. "Someday, Daddy. Someday."

The next days passed easily. You were preoccupied with your studies, your friends, and with Miss Brooks. The winter nights were warm in our bed, holding each other close. To your consternation, I insisted Miss Brooks sleep in a little pen I'd gotten her by the big warm old stove in the kitchen until she had learned to pee outside. She complained mournfully, but she soon got the hang of it and one night you snuck her into your own bed to cuddle with you until you put her back in the kitchen and crawled into bed with me.

"Miss Brooks OK?" I asked sleepily

"You knew!"

I chuckled, "Of course I knew, Little Girl. I'm omniscient."

You giggled. "Oh, Daddy. And what else do you know?"

My voice was warm in the dark, "A great deal, my Pet."

You shivered. "What do you know about... about me, Daddy? More than you let on, I'll bet."

I kissed your mouth tenderly. You melted into my arms, against my body. Safe. Warm. You were trembling. You said in a very small voice, "Daddy -- you -- what do you know -- about me?"

You grabbed my hand and pulled it down your belly between your legs. You spread them an squirmed against my fingers. "Daddy -- you know all about me?"

Your pussy gushed. I moved swiftly.

And now, like a fire being lit, you are suddenly hot.

I am on top of you. I am slightly rough. My cock pushes into you.

You gasp as you pussy lips yield and grip me, your cunny is full. I begin to fuck you hard. You feel overwhelmed by the suddenness -- and, like a wrestler, I have pinned you beneath my weight. You feel your helplessness and you nearly swoon while, like a tidal wave, all of a sudden you are caught in a deep current.

"Daddy!" You are nearly there already.

"Come for me -- now," I command.

And so you do. You know that my command has pushed you over the edge. You are even more acutely aware of your vulnerability. And like gasoline on an already blazing fire, that knowledge, the sense of my complete control, compels you to an incredible intensity.

You feel it in every fiber of your body and you are overwhelmed again with the strength of your emotion. You scream, "God! I love you! My Sir! My Sir!"

My cock swells. I begin to pump my come into you. "My Little Girl!"

"Daddyyyy -- oh, Daddyyyy." You bite my shoulder in your excitement and it makes me come harder.

"My Little Baby Girl... Sweet, sweet little pet." I grip you with surprising strength. You return the embrace.

We are holding each other close, our bodies joined. You squirm beneath me. It has been wonderfully fast and hot. You whisper in my ear, "Just hold me, Daddy."

The weight of my body, the heat of my flesh, the smell of our sex -- you are content. "Thank you, Sir. I needed you like that tonight."

"Yes, my little one. I needed it too."

You wrap your legs around me and hold me tightly. You nuzzle my neck. Tomorrow is another day. You are thinking how you will study for your physics test, you will read poetry to me after class, you will play with Miss Brooks.

As you drift off to sleep, you smell the scent of rose perfume... so familiar, but just out of reach. You smile in your sleep. You unwrap your right arm from around my shoulders. You are sucking your thumb.