Passion in James County XIV: A Week In The Mountains
Neither Frankie nor Kay enjoyed their morning swim very much the next day. The fact that Kay's husband would be returning later in the day weighed heavily on both of their minds and put both of them in a lousy mood, which put a damper on their normal playfulness.
Kay kept remembering what happened the night before with a mixture of elation and sadness. Frankie told her that he was in love with her. It thrilled her to hear him admit that, but at the same time, it was the thing she'd feared most ever since her affair with him began. And, she admitted to herself, the problem wasn't just that Frankie was in love with her; the real problem was that she had fallen in love with him, too, as crazy as that might be. She wasn't looking forward to her husband's arrival, not one bit.
After their swim, they returned to the cabin and ate breakfast. Frankie went outside to do some work around the house while Kay went to her room.
"What am I going to do?" she thought as she got dressed. "I'm ruining Frankie's life. I...I can't keep doing that. I...I have to find some way to stop this before it gets any worse. How am I going to get out of this without hurting him any more than I already have?" She sat down oh her bed and laid back, looking up at the ceiling. "Do I really want to get out of my relationship with Frankie?" she found herself thinking, and was disturbed. "What is wrong with me?" she asked herself. "How stupid am I to think there's even a remote chance Frankie and I could have any kind of future." She closed her eyes. "I suppose I could divorce Stu," she mused as she laid there, trying to figure out a way out of the dilemma she found herself in. "Is...is that what I need to do? Is...is that what I want to do? Even if...if I did divorce Stu, how...how would Frankie and I manage to be together? Glen and Gloria would be furious if they knew what I'm doing. What...what would they do if...if I divorced Stu and then...?" She was sure her friendship with Gloria Bobar would come to a horrible end once the other woman learned what she and Frankie were doing. And Gloria was a good friend, one of the best friends Kay had. It looked like her only choice, despite how wonderful things were when she and Frankie were together, was to end their relationship. The problem was she didn't think she had the strength, or the will, to do that.
They had an early lunch, then Gloria left to pick up her husband and Mike Ervins. Sue was gone all morning, returned to eat lunch silently, and left almost immediately after lunch was finished. Kay had no doubt where her friend was spending the day and didn't really care. Frankie moped around and stayed away from her, a fact that caused her considerable distress. She had hoped they might be able to talk a little more about their relationship, and come to some kind of resolution.
Stu Tobin showed up about four in the afternoon.
"Hi, Stu," Kay said, when her husband walked into the house. She looked at him and realized something she'd never understood before. "I...I don't love him," she thought. "Maybe...maybe I...I never have." The realization shocked her.
"Hi, Kay," he said. "Look, we need to talk about something. It's...it's the reason I decided I had to come back up here."
Kay looked at her husband, saw the serious look on his face, and was concerned. "What's the matter, Stu?" she asked, "Is...is something wrong?" She couldn't imagine what it was that had him looking so upset. Had something gone wrong with his business?
"Ah...well..." her husband began. "It's...well...I..."
Frankie walked into the house, through the living room, and into the kitchen without saying anything to either Stu or Kay. Kay was very aware of the hurt look on the young man's face, and wished there were some way it didn't have to be there. Her mind was spinning with confusing feelings. She felt guilty because of what she and Frankie had done, but at the same time, it seemed as if she felt even more guilt about what she was sure she was doing to Frankie. "Somehow, some way, I have to figure out what I really want," she thought. "I can't let things keep going like this, I just can't. It's killing me and, even worse, its hurting Frankie."
"Is there some place where we can talk privately?" her husband asked. He looked angry that the young man had come in and interrupted them.
"Why don't we go up to my...our place?" Kay suggested, "You haven't seen it yet."
"Ah...yeah, I guess," Stu replied.
Kay couldn't understand what was going on. She had expected her husband to be excited about the fact that they now had a cabin at the lake, but he wasn't acting as if he was. In fact, he looked uncomfortable, as if something was weighing on his mind. She had no idea what it was he wanted to tell to her. They walked out of the cabin, got in his car, and he started driving up the road.
Frankie was close to tears when he heard Kay suggest that she and her husband should go up to the cabin she'd bought. It bothered him that she'd called it "their" place. "It isn't their place," he fumed. "It's our place. Goddamn Mr. Tobin, anyhow. I wish...I..." Tears welled up in his eyes and he began to sob. The idea that Kay and her husband would be sleeping together tonight was the most painful thought he'd ever had.
Stu said nothing during the short trip to the cabin Kay had just purchased. When they got there, they got out of the car, walked up onto the porch, and she let them in. When they were inside, she turned to her husband. "What do you think?" she asked.
Stu looked around quickly, then he turned back to his wife. "It's...ah...it's nice, Kay," he said. He took a deep breath. "I wish..."
Kay had no idea why her husband was acting the way he was. "You wish what?" she asked. "Stu, what's wrong? Why are you acting so strangely?"
Her husband flushed, turned, and walked to the kitchen window. He stood there for a long time, staring through it. Then he took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. "Are...are you happy in our marriage, Kay?" he asked with his back to her. "Really happy?"
Kay was startled by her husband's question. "I...I don't know. I...I guess I am," she replied, even though she'd been asking herself that same question earlier that morning and knew she was far from happy in her marriage. "Why on earth are you asking me that, Stu?"
Her husband turned and looked at her with great sadness in his eyes. "I...I'm not happy, Kay," he said. "I...I haven't been happy for a long time."
"Oh," Kay replied, stunned. This was absolutely the last thing she ever expected to hear her husband say. She had no idea he was even remotely aware there were problems in their marriage. He'd certainly never given her any indication he knew there were problems. She was puzzled, hurt, and confused, but deep inside her, there was a tiny spark of elation, too.
"Look, Kay," her husband continued, "I...I'm not blaming you, because...because I...I don't think it's all your fault." He shrugged. "I'm not sure I've put a hundred percent into our relationship, either." He shrugged again. "Aw, hell, I know I haven't. Maybe...maybe neither of us has."
Kay wasn't sure how to respond, or even if she should. Why was Stu bringing this up now? What was the point of this conversation?
Stu looked at her with more sorrow in his eyes than she'd ever seen. "I've really been a pretty lousy husband, when I think about it," he said. "I know I've never been a very romantic guy, and I...well, I guess I'm not exactly a super-stud in bed, either. Maybe...maybe it's because I...because of the difference in our ages. I...I don't know."
Kay couldn't believe what Stu was saying. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, he started talking again.
"You don't have to tell me it's OK, because I know it isn't," he went on. "Our sex life hasn't been what it should have been for a long time." He looked at her with tears in his eyes, then he turned to the window again. "I...I thought there was something wrong with me. I...I went to a doctor, a specialist in stuff like that, and had a checkup."
"And..." Kay said. She had no idea her husband was aware of his deficiencies in bed, nor that he'd sought help for them.
