I love my wife.
We've been together for eight months now. Literally together.
We've known each other for much longer but our anniversary is the day we got Bonded.
The Bond was irreversible, but its inventor Zastryavshiy found a way to weaken it.
We now have a huge black slab of metal called Monolith.
If we use Monolith for fifteen minutes, we can separate briefly.
We use Monolith as much as we can.
It's nice to be two people instead of one, even briefly.
We have a routine. First thing we do each day is separate. Now up to two hours and one minute.
At this rate in two years, we will hit the twelve-hour mark.
Zastryavshiy thinks at that point we may be able to resist snapping back together. Or not.
"Never been tried." "No data."
Two glorious hours to shower, ride bike, swim. And yes, have sex.
During the 6 months 8 days 14 hours and 12 minutes that we were constantly locked together we even managed to figure out ways to have sex.
Yes, I was permanently hard. Yes, I was permanently in her pussy. But if you cannot pull out, or push in. are you really having sex. No, that pretty much requires an orgasm or two.
My balls were exposed as was her clit. Vibrators were a new thing to me but between my dick being in exactly the right place and having just enough stimulation from the vibrations, our orgasms were unbelievable.
In some ways it was nice to know that no matter how much either of us thrashed, I would not pop out and spoil the rhythm
Noel found one that actually attached to my balls. She said the first time I used that one I actually lifted her off the bed when I came. I don't remember. I think I passed out.
Of course, I'm the perfect lover, I always stay and cuddle afterwards. Ha ha.
You'd think after being locked into that for 6 months, I'd never want to go back in. But I still do. More than ever.
But it's much nicer when you can move in and out. And try other positions. And looking in her eyes. And yeah, you get the idea.
Then after 2 hours, break over, and we're back together again.
We sometimes try to time things just right and be making love in doggy style right up to the last second.
We hit it perfectly a couple of times, and oh man. Just as we're orgasming the last push becomes a slam and we are locked together just as we're coming.
But we're always ready when the timer runs out.
Neither of us wants to be stuck to the fridge for the rest of our lives.
Though I joke with her about being the world's best fridge magnet. I wouldn't mind seeing that if it wasn't so permanent. Her butt stuck to the fridge. Struggling to get off. Totally naked of course.
But then I'd probably be in the garage humping the Honda forever.
No, we don't mess with our appointments.
Monolith needs to recharge. It takes 12 hours. So, a cycle every 14 hours.
That will get longer as we are separated for longer periods of time. For today 7am and 9 pm.
Then tonight we'll be separated till 11pm, so not ready again till 11am tomorrow. Then 1am and so on.
Soon it will become once a day. That may slow things down.
We set an alarm, so we don't miss it. Yes, we end up awake at all hours but it's no worse than having a baby. And we have nothing else to do. Neither of us can work.
I tried for a while working online. Ever have a cat on your lap while you are typing? Ever have your wife on your lap while you are typing?
Our buddy John got us on disability. So, we have some money coming in. We'll never be rich.
Or even well off. But then why would we want a Lamborghini right now anyway.
At least we're together. Yuk yuk.
Speaking of which we both had trouble with our marriage vows when they got to the part "till death do us part." I kind of snickered, so when it was her turn, and she got to that part, she just said "Duh, ya think?" and flipped her hair. I love my wife.
So, we were awake at 6am made coffee and small talk. Asked her how she slept, that sort of thing. At 7am we were ready and standing in front of Monolith.
There was a soft ping. That meant it was ready. I leaned back against it. Always warm and soft.
Never did ask Zastryavshiy.
Of course, we're not exactly on speaking terms.
Got perfectly situated first. We had learned that if Noel put her elbows back first, she could take quite a bit of her weight off of me. At least off of my chest.
Then, when her second hand touched the slab, the field would activate. We did that as we have done over 100 times now.
About a second after her hand touched, the field activated and sucked us into the Monolith.
It was like being launched to the moon. Like being under a waterbed. Like being a metal filing, on a giant magnet. Which of course is what we were.
We couldn't move a muscle. Actually, we could move muscles it just didn't do any good.
You know those isometric exercises where you don't actually move? Like linking your hands together and pulling. Your hands are just pulling on each other but your arms get a real workout.
It's like that. I can try to lift my leg. It doesn't go anywhere but I'm using the muscle groups.
And wouldn't you know less than a minute into our 15 my phone rings. Nothing we can do. They'll leave a voicemail.
Then Noel's phone rings. Huh. Probably someone desperate to extend our car's warranty. It expired 5 years ago but they sure want to try.
Then my phone again. What the hell? Everyone that we still have contact with knows that either phone will probably get both of us. And if not we're busy and really don't want to talk.
Then Noel's phone again.
"You might want to get that" Zastryavshiy says
OH FUCK!
I would recognize that Russian accent anywhere. I can't even watch movies with Russians in them. Just the dialogue gives me the heebie-jeebies.
I tried to turn my head. No go.
I tried to rip my arm off Monolith. Also, no go.
Couldn't even make a fist.
Just lying there helpless as a jellyfish on the shore.
I could feel Noel sobbing, and heard her whispering to herself "Oh god, oh god" over and over.
"Z a s t r y a v s h I y, i f y o u s o m u c h a s t o u c h h e r i t ' l l b e t h e l a s t t h i n g y o u e v e r d o."
I couldn't move my jaw and had to talk with my teeth clenched.
I was furious, and scared, and incredulous, and helpless all at the same time.
I was like a mouse in a giant glue trap, threatening the human that came to dispose of us. All I could do was squeak.
I wasn't giving up; I was just helpless.
I was Monty Python's black Knight "Come over here, and I'll bite your legs off"
"George, Noel"
"I will be only one able to move for next 12 minutes." He said looking at the clock.
"So, need to get to work."
I could see him in my peripheral vision in a reflection on the sliding glass door. He was kneeling down at the side of Monolith. He was within my reach. I tried to reach. I put everything I had, into lifting my arm and killing him. I was giving it maximum effort. Nothing. Couldn't even lift a finger.
"Are you trying to reach me?" he asked. He must have heard me grunting.
"Not possible. Is as strong as Bond."
"But I could easily kill you. Would not even need biomagnetics. Could just smother you, or stab you, or hit you with bat."
"So just lay there, and you might live to see tomorrow."