Wiping the steam from the foggy mirror Violet finally got a chance to take a long hard look at her self. She even appeared different. Her eyes were cold yet sleepy... like his. She could see him in her. Feel him. Even after bathing obsessively she could still feel the filth coursing through her veins. Vivid images of what happened that night constantly flashed through her mind. She leaned on the bathroom sink gazing into her shadowed eyes. She could still hear the screams, the sound of the whip cracking mercilessly. She bit her lower lip trying to catch those sharp breaths and tame them. But as her reflection glared back at her, she could see the entire scene replaying right before her. She could still taste the blood on her soft lips. That sweet saline flavor tingling her taste buds. She hovered over the sink barely holding herself up. Rocking slightly, she tried to forget the grim reality she had been forced into. This man had humiliated her in every way she could possibly name. And yet the very mention of his name, or the very thought of him had her tossing and turning at night. She continued to stare at her reflection.
"Do you even
know
who you are anymore?" She slurred. Her disoriented reflection just stood there, with a sinister aura searing from it. She stood up straight and observed her entire nude body. She ran her hands down her stomach, subconsciously fantasizing about him. She missed those violating hands that made demands all on their own. No one had ever touched her like that. Lucas, being the softhearted hopeless romantic he had always been, never knew how to be dominant. She fingered the brand mark on her stomach shaped like a sideways crucifix. She remembered what he said to her.
"You're free to leave this place, but you're not free from me..."
She couldn't understand. Three months had gone by and not once did she see or hear from him. She was almost certain that he was out of her life for good. She tried to focus on moving on and getting her life back. But as the agonizing days dragged by it all became clear to her. That she will never be satisfied or content with life as long as she continued to lie to herself. As long as she continued to deny herself these hidden desires she would bring herself to the brink of insanity. The urges were so strong that to this day she didn't allow Lucas to touch her. The thought alone disgusted her. He tried several times to make love to her, but failed miserably. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She denied his love more times then she could count. And all he tried to do was heal a wound that didn't even exist. She hated herself for being so distant from him. She sighed as her fingers explored the brownish black burn mark on her stomach. Like the mark, she felt as if he had been burned onto her skin. He left a permanent mark on not only her body but on her soul. And it was that very stain he left on her that made her crave for him more. On days where she was alone she'd spend them working her body to an orgasm with his name spilling from her lips. She closed her eyes, trying to remember how his hands felt on her, the cruelty in his voice and the taste of his tongue in her mouth. Trying to bring herself back to that moment when he took her, she eased her hand lower. Softly gliding down the curves of her body trying to reach that aching spot between her legs.
"Did he do that to you?" Violet's heart nearly burst out her chest. She snapped her eyes open looking at Lucas standing behind her through the mirror.
"What was that babe?" She asked quietly, trying to slowly remove her hand from where she had it.
"I asked if he did that to you?" He repeated. She looked down at the brand mark on her stomach. She grazeded it with her fingertips.
"Th-this?"
"Yeah." He replied. Violet sighed then nodded quickly. She grabbed her robe that hung from the wall in front of her.
"Yes, he did." She replied monotonously. She swiftly put on her robe and turned around. She forced herself to look him in the eyes despite the pain it caused her. She folded her arms. Lucas opened his mouth to say something but his words were lost. He inhaled then made his way towards her. She pressed her body against the wall when he came with in arm's length. He moved the robe aside to uncover the brand mark. He shook his head with abhorrence.
"Sick, just sick." He mumbled. He swept his thumb across brownish black burn and leaned forward to plant a kiss on her forehead. Violet grimaced as his lips lingered against her head a second to long for her liking. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him.
"I didn't notice it before." He whispered sympathetically against her forehead. She placed her hands on his shoulders giving them a slight unnoticeable shove. Which was another one of her feeble attempts at pushing him away.
"It didn't hurt much." She lied.
It didn't hurt much because I liked it
. Jesus, how sick was she for even
thinking
that. Lucas exhaled a gust of wind from his nostrils and leaned back to take in the beauty of his fiancΓ©. The soft pout of her lips and the inexplicable sleepiness of her eyes threw him off. Something about her had definitely changed. Her eyes were no longer warm and welcoming. They were dark, sinister and almost wild with fury. He barely recognized her. He cupped the side of her face in his hand. Tracing his thumb along her high cheekbone, he gazed into her eyes. Still looking for the Violet he once knew. Almost reading his mind she said in an airy tone,
"We both know, that I'm not the same woman I was before." She placed her hand atop of the hand that gently caressed her face. She laced her fingers with his and kissed his thumb. That had to have been the first act of affection that she showed him since her return.
"I know babe, I know. I wish I could do something to-" She pressed her fingers against his lips. Her eyes took in the softness of his, and she remembered the way they were. How care free and young they use to be. How nothing else in the world mattered but them, their love and their plan to reach greatness together. She remembered the white winter snow, how it fell serenely onto the smug city streets as they embraced each other. The way he whispered 'I love you' against her lips almost every night. All the memories began to rise to the surface as she willingly pressed her lips against his. She let her graceful yet hard working hands dance and explore his back. She wanted to remember. She willed herself to remember. Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Kissing him almost desperately, Violet tugged at his shirt pulling him into her hard. Lucas stumbled forward, knocking Violet up against the wall. She grunted from the impact and Lucas pulled his mouth and body away from hers.
"Damn, Violet are you ok? I stumbled and-" She nuzzled her nose and lips against his.