"Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
I ask the Lord, the King of kings,
Protect me from Her Black Wings
- Amen."
--
The desert stretches out in front of me. Hills of sand undulating, flickering in the heat, glaring back into my eyes. The air is still, no movement, nothing, like being in a vacuum. The sun beats down on me and my skin feels like it's sizzling from the heat. I raise my hand over my eyes and peer into the desert, looking for the next supply truck. I see nothing for miles.
I turn around and walk back into the small village. The homes of cracked wood and mud brick squat on either side of a road that is only a road because it's between the rows of homes. People sit in the doorways, gathered in small groups; young children, women, a few men, limbs thin, faces drawn, bellies distended, skin drawn tight across their skulls with dark eyes peering out at me, looking for the bit of hope that I can bring them. I feel like a god in my clean pressed shirt and pants, a large wooden cross dangling from my neck, my skin bronzed to a golden tan, a bronze god among the dark savages. I shake the thought from my head. I am not a god. I am just an emissary of the one true God, here to bring his word and his hope to these people.
A child steps from a doorway and walks over to me. Her hair is fallen out in patches. Her mouth is toothless. Still her eyes shine. They are alive. With the fire of God. Her hands stretch out to touch me and I kneel down, letting her pull me down to look her in the eyes.
"What do you need child?" I ask her, my hand draping across her bony shoulder.
She stares at me and says nothing. She only stares at me. Then I realize that she is a deaf mute. She has no tongue. She has no teeth. Her mother must chew her food and spit it into her mouth like a bird feeding her baby.
I stroke her head, feeling the bumps of her skull, the few strands of her hair slipping across my fingers. She reaches out and touches the cross hanging down from my neck.
"It is the cross of the Lord our God. You have one of your own," I tell her, knowing how these people see symbols like the cross as powerful talismans and though that seems like idolatry to me - and thus sinful - I am happy that they have accepted the cross.
She wraps her hands around the cross and closes her eyes as if she's drawing strength from it, pulling the spirit of the Lord into her soul. I almost expect to see her tiny, frail body to expand, filled with His strength, but nothing happens. She holds it in her hands, seeming to meditate upon it.
Then her eyelids open, her eyes rotated back into her head, the whites glaring out at me. Startled, I jump back from her. The leather necklace snaps from my neck as I fall backwards, her hands still grasping onto the cross, her head still tilted up, her body still like a statue.
I sit up to walk over to her, to see if she's all right and retrieve my cross, but I stop as a shadow drifts over me, blocking the sun. I see the shadow stretch out over me, my shadow swallowed by it. The girl is gone. My cross lies in the sand. I watch as it sinks slowly into the ground, the leather strap trailing after it until it's gone. My skin has broken into goose bumps, cooled by the oppressive shadow. As I breathe out I see my breath drifting from my lips.
I turn around, knowing what I'll see, knowing that she has come again, not wanting to look at her, my body tight with fear, my heart pounding, but I can't help but turn, my body is drawn to her. I must see her. My skin is cold, but my blood boils, and I must look at her.
I see her eyes first, always those eyes, a deep blood red staring down at me as if from some great height, two red shining orbs peering into my head to pierce my soul. Her wings are wrapped around her body, hiding her entirely except for those two eyes, and then she raises her head up, her face beautiful, cruelly beautiful, her lips red and wet, her skin brown, her hair drifting back in long, black waves.
"Come to me." Her voice resounds in my head, deep and sensual, reverberating in my head and then down through my body to my guts, sending waves of tingling pleasure through my loins, and I sigh, feeling my penis starting to harden.
Her black wings shift and then start to part as she unfolds them from her body. My mouth is dry, my body tight with anticipation, watching as her body is revealed to me. Slowly, she pulls her wings apart, the tips scraping across the sand at her clawed feet until she lifts them up, spreading them apart. My eyes trace up her brown legs as her wings unfold, eagerly moving up her calves and thighs, the skin seeming so soft stretched over the muscles, up high on her thighs, staring between her thighs, but I see nothing but darkness, her legs closed tightly.
Then her wings snap loudly as she flicks them apart, stretching out beside her and over her head. Her body seems to glow dimly, illuminating her sensuous curves from the shadows cast by her immense wings. Her chest rises and falls, her breasts large, the nipples black and round. She raises her long arms up, holding them out to me, beckoning me to her. I look at her face, beautiful and dark, her tongue slides between her lips, slipping between her sharp teeth.
She offers me everything, everything I've never had, everything I've always wanted, but am forbidden to have - every delight and pleasure, wallowing in sin, seeping into my skin. A sigh. Her breath soft on my neck. Her body close to me, oh so close, and I can feel her in front of me, her heat prickling my skin, every nerve tingling. Her wings close around us, swallowing me inside of her, taking me in, and I lean forward, my head resting against her shoulder, my cheek pressed to her skin, so soft. I want to kiss it. I want to bite it.
Her wings slide along my back as she pulls me towards her, her hands at my waist, touching my body, and I'm naked now, nothing between us, just skin against skin, flesh against flesh, and my penis is hard, pushing between her legs, spread wide now, the soft hair tickling me. My body is in a rage, her fingers sliding down my waist and my thighs, her nails scratching my skin, and my brain is soaked with desire, wanting everything she offers, wanting more, and my body jerks as she grabs my penis.
She moves closer still, her breasts pushed against my chest, her thighs pressed to my thighs, her wings wrapped around my back, her tongue, hot and wet, licking across my neck, behind my ear, and I sigh, feeling my body let go, powerless in her embrace, each second an eternity of pleasure and want.
Her hand presses my penis up against her, between her legs, and she moves her hips, sliding along it, her fingers rubbing it underneath, teasing me, so close, oh so close, my moan making her hair flutter, the scent of perfume and cooked meat. Her fingers touch the tip and my body jerks as a spasm flows up my spine. She moves her hips, sliding the wetness, the soft folds of skin between her legs, along my penis, her stomach pressing against me and then parting as she moves.
I wrap my hands around her waist, feeling the skin, hot and smooth under my palms, her body soft, wanting to pull her towards me, push it into her, now, now, oh I need it inside of her now, lost in lust and desire, her fingers touching me, sliding underneath it, faster, pumping my hips, sliding between her hand and her pelvis, moaning loudly, her tongue stretching along the back of my neck, wrapping around to my face, parting my lips, and I touch my tongue to her tongue, my fingers digging into her waist, grasping her butt, feeling her muscles flexing and moving beneath my touch, moving faster, and then her fingers touching the tip, a quick stroke, and I almost double over as my body erupts.
Her wings hold me against her body, her hand wrapped around the head of my penis as it jerks uncontrollably, my whole body shivering and shaking, grunting, my hips pumping, pushing against her, her tongue diving into my mouth, as the fluid continues to burst from me, a release so wonderful and pleasurable that I want the moment to stretch out forever, never lose it, always feel her against me, around me, holding me, ejaculating into her cupped hand, her fingers stroking it underneath, drawing it out of me, pulling my whole body out tight on a string stretched out to her fingers.
She slides her fingers down my penis once more, pulling one last ejaculation from me, and then pulls away. I fall to my knees as she steps away, pulling her wings from me, the harsh sun now beating down on my body, exposed, pitiful and naked. I squint up at her, standing over me, her wings pulled in tight against her back, her hand held in front of her, my semen lying in a puddle in her palm. She lifts her hand to her mouth and her tongue shoots out, licking my semen from her hand. She rolls it down her tongue and into her mouth, her lips curled back in a grin, her eyes watching me, and then she presses her hand to her lips to suck it from her hand.
I fall to the ground, crumbling to the sand, all energy drained from my body. I feel the harsh light of God beating on my bare back. I try to crawl towards her to find the protection of her black wings, but I can't move, the sand is opening, pulling me down, and I'm so tired that I can't struggle against it. I look up at her, begging for help, pleading with her, but she's gone, there is nothing, and I sink into the sand until it covers my head and it's dark.
--
I wake with a start, sitting up quickly as my eyes jerk open, my heart pounding. I see the walls of my bedroom lit by the light spilling in through my curtains and not the desert swallowing my sinful body. I drop back onto the bed and rest my hands on my chest feeling my heart slowing down as I let the reality of my bedroom sink in.
I notice my hands clutching my bare chest and sit up again. I push the bed sheets to the side and see my pajamas lying in shreds between the sheets. I look down at my naked body and then notice the sticky wet fluid on the sheets and on my body at my waist and genitals.
