My first year here has been anything but forgettable. Mostly because, on day one, I found out he was here too.
Mezza. Of all people.
The last person I ever expected to see again. The love of my life. And he was exactly as I left him: dark, devastatingly beautiful, carrying a quiet storm of pain and allure, dangerous in the way fire is--too bright, too intense, and impossible not to stare into. Yet I walked away...
From that very first day learning he was here he even acted as if he still wanted me. And fuck... he did. I didn't deserve him. Back at our old school, we were wildfire; friends, lovers, a force of nature wrapped in heat and hunger. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, couldn't stop exploring all the ways we fit together. The kind of connection that makes you lose sleep, lose track of where you end and they begin. A fated soul-deep kind of pairing. We were special.
But I panicked. I convinced myself what we had was fake, because we didn't clearly define what we were, he never spoke of bonding either. Most in our realm who find that level of connection, go through what we call bonding. Humans have something close to it called marriage, but for us it was much more involved than that. Bonding never came up between us, in fact we shied away from being open with one another and discussing anything at all having to do with our relationship, outside of dirty talk that is.
I came to believe that what we had was a situationship, one where I grew to love him deeply, but where he didn't return it. So, I vanished. I left without a word, telling myself I was protecting my heart at best, and protecting us from burning out, at worst. As they say, the ones that burn the brightest often end up ash the quickest. I thought I was saving us from ruining something perfect before it had the chance to destroy anyone. And I thought I was right too, because if he didn't think me bond worthy, he'd find it with someone else, and I couldn't bear to see that happen.
In truth, I was just a selfish coward.
And soon after leaving, when I had plenty of time to sit and reflect on my actions, I truly regretted it. Actually, I hated myself for it, because I didn't even give him the chance to confirm or deny my assumptions. I just listened to my over thoughts and ran with them. I hated myself for being too scared to stay and communicate with any kind of honesty, of being terrified of the depth of what we had to trust it and him... I hurt myself by doing that, but what's worse is how much I must have hurt him. I loved him too much to want to cause him any pain, so I even convinced myself to stay away to spare him anymore once I came to my senses.
When I came here a little more than a year later, having taken that time to confront my past, to acknowledge my mistakes, and to make a solemn promise with myself to never again run if I ever found something as incredible as what I had with Mezza, to instead, face my fears with honesty, openness, and trust. I truly believed the past was behind me. Including any chance of running into him. Especially in a place where we can never leave.
Fuck, I was wrong.
Seeing him again stirred up everything I'd buried; fear, guilt... and longing. I missed him. Not just the way he touched me, but the way he saw me. The way he made me feel like I was his world. I was certain that he'd be too angry, to hurt to ever want anything to do with me again, but then he sent me a gift. A message, really. Something darkly playful, and unmistakably him.
A severed hand.
Not just any hand, one that knew exactly how to find my G-spot and make me cry out begging for more, desperate and shaking in awe, rekindling the love that still burned inside me for him. A bold, twisted little token that said: I'm not angry. I'm not hurt, I'm in love and I'm coming for you. Still.
He's always known how to speak my language.
At first, I was afraid. Not of the gift, not even of him, but of myself. Of trusting that I won't mess it up, again. So, we took it slow. Now, seven months later... we're back to being inseparable. Stronger. Wilder. Better. Our days are filled with teasing threats of filth, of demanding and claiming kisses and grabs, and our nights? Naked, sweaty, and absolutely ardent in all of the best ways.
He wants me for life this time. And I'm not running anymore.
But regardless of our reconciliation, of the passion growing between us and continued commitment we practice daily, there's a new challenge testing us now. Mezza's brother, Fester. He vanished. So, Mezza has been taking little trips over the last four months to try and search for him. He suspects Fester might have gotten into something dangerous, something that made him choose to take a huge risk and enter the portal located at the Bermuda Triangle. The one that stranded each of us here. There are two portals on Earth, one transporting to and one transporting away, only the one transporting away, the Bermuda one, is broken. All realms know that coming to Earth is a one-way trip, now, because the ancients who created these portals are no longer around to repair them when one goes faulty, like Bermuda.