"Have you decided to bid on anything tonight?" the dark haired woman asked me.
"I put in one for the Mets package and the foursome at Winged Foot," I responded.
"Golf is not my thing, but I also bid for the Mets. Hi, my name is Patti. What did you put up for the auction?"
"Hi, Jason. And a weekend's use of my boat," I answered.
"Wow! that is some prize. I saw a few very large bids for that already."
"And you?" I asked her.
"A soul mate," she answered with a surprisingly straight face.
"Now I recognize you. Patti, from Matchmaker Millionaire. I have watched a few minutes while channel surfing."
"Just a few minutes?" she asked incredulously.
"I do recall watching the one with the train wreck girl wanting to date the young handsome guy, who really had no interest in her. Obviously, he just wanted some TV exposure. You advised her to go with the more appropriate guy, but she went ahead with her stud anyways. The audience knew what was going to happen, and it played out perfectly. The Train Wreck crashed."
Patti laughed, "That one did get good ratings. Bravo reran it many times."
"I find it hard to believe that your show actually works. I read you claim to have a 99% success rate, but outside sources discovered only 10% go on second dates. What percent of these people actually have a relationship for at least six months?"
"I will level with you here. Before the show I really did have great success with my clients. However, in television we don't want the boring couples. We are looking for some excitement. Unfortunately, that brings in the train wrecks, as you say."
We walked over to the auction table for her donation, and we found the auction card remained blank. "No one is willing to take a shot with you," I said. "I guess most of the people here are married or don't want to be embarrassed on television."
"I would make sure no one from here would be embarrassed. Bravo has actually given me the budget to film this episode with the donor getting full editing rights and the clout to kibosh the whole episode."
"That makes it a little more interesting. So, I can try the whole thing like a dress rehearsal. If it is no good, then it gets destroyed. I mean it won't show up on Youtube the next week."
"Make the minimum bid, and I promise you will have full control."
My 100k bid held up for the night, and I agreed to meet with Patti at her office the following month for the initial interview.
Four weeks later
"Hi Jason, this is my staff, Rachel and Destin. As you know we want to get some information from you about what you want from your soul mate. I looked up a bit of your background. You have a very successful private equity company, hence your generous bid. I also saw you were married once for a couple of years. Any children? "
"None that I know about."
"Do you want children? Some guys by age 40 have decided against it."
"I would still like to have some. I would not even rule out a woman with a child already, as long as the situation with the dad is not too complicated."
"What other things are you looking for."
"Athletic, adventurous, curious, likes to have fun but does not expect to party every night. Also, she must be empathetic to others. I don't want anyone one who thinks too much of herself."
"Like me?" Patti asked with feigned indigence. Rachel and Destin laughed along with both of us. "What about looks? Your type is athletic, so we can start from there.
"Not too skinny. Also, I like really short hair on women. Think Charlize Theron in Mad Max."
"Yes, she is beautiful with any style. Most men I know like long hair. Did you ex have short hair?"
"She did when we met in grad school, and she kept this beautiful pixie during the first year of our marriage. Her neck was always exposed for me to kiss. However, she said she felt more comfortable at work with longer hair, and I did not push her to keep it short. Over the next year the more we grew apart the longer she grew her hair. We finally moved on with little commotion. We had no kids and similar finances at the time, so the divorce went as smoothly as possible."
Patti brought our conversation back to the show. "We tend to get women with long stylish hair on the show, but we can arrange to have some short haired women come in."
Destin chimed in, "how about we get the women to agree to have their hair cut off on the show?"
"I like that," Patti and I said at the same time.
Everyone started to flesh out how to put the haircutting into the context of the show. Should all the prospects get their haircut after Patti screens them, or should I first meet them? That way I would know what they are like before they know about the short hair. After tossing around a few more ideas we came up with the plan.
Patti would screen about twenty potential women based on all the personality and character traits like she usually does. From the twenty she would choose a few, who agree to have their hair cut very short and edgy by a stylist friend of hers. All of these women would receive three grand for surrendering their locks on the show. We were sure some changes would occur, but the basic idea made sense.
Patti called me the next week informing me that the plan went quite well, and she had four women lined up for me to meet. I arrived at her office on Friday with some apprehension about the whole program. Did I really need to expose myself this way? I allayed my fears with the comfort of knowing I could just decide to kill the show at any time.
I sat at Patti's desk, and she showed me the profiles of the girls. They were all in their early thirties, had no children, looked athletic, and had faces that would become more beautiful with no hair to hide behind. "So, how did you bring up the haircutting to them?" I asked Patti.
"Once I knew I liked one of them as a prospect for you, I handed her a ponytail holder and asked her to put up her hair. I then had her look into the mirror behind my desk, and I asked her how she thought she would look with short hair. Most of them did not quite understand my question, until I explained what you were looking for in your new soul mate."
"Then they thought I was a freak," I joked.
"Only one. The others took the news in stride and asked how short. When I mentioned Charlize in Mad Max, they mostly gulped or blinked a lot. However, these four liked what they saw in you and are willing to undergo the transformation. Also, the $3000 does not hurt as an enticement."
"How do we proceed now?" I asked.
"I thought rather than getting to know the girls after the haircut at our usual cocktail party, you could talk with them as they are getting chopped. This way you can see how they think and act under pressure. I will also be there to guide both of you. Are you good with that?"
"Sure, sounds perfect. Who is up first?"
Patti handed me a biography, and I followed her into a makeshift hair salon. I sat down to review the information on Jamie. She spent five years after college working for a few cruise lines in almost every capacity on the ship. After that long at sea, she wanted to settle down and moved back to New York. She has been working for Ian Shrager for the past five years in his corporate office. All the while she has volunteered at an animal shelter. She likes hiking and sailing.
Jamie walked into the room, and I looked up at her. Patti did not include a picture with the profile, so I had to stifle my first thought that her long brown hair would look much better in thirty minutes. I rose to shake her hand. "Hi Jamie, Jason. How is the hotel business?" After a bit more small talk Jamie sat in the chair and began to discuss her haircut with Patti and Marcel. I listened carefully, as they all decided for a close buzz with short bangs.
Marcel began by brushing out her hair. He gathered up a ponytail and cut through it very close to her head. He showed Jamie and handed the hair to Patti for donation. Marcel took the clippers with a large guard and reduced Jamie's hair to about an inch all around. He then used the #2 to buzz her down to a quarter inch all around except in the front of her head. After using a razor and cream to shave her neck and around her ears, he took the scissors to form the bangs.