Halloween
"You can't win a shell game." The upperclassman spoke with an air of authority, but Courtney thought it was undercut by the presence of a giant inflated condom on his head. He was instilling his undoubtedly hard-earned wisdom on a blonde freshman, who was either as dumb as she looked, or a hell of an actress.
Courtney thought the former. Courtney herself had gone blonde her first year in college, playing the ditz for a few months just to broaden her repertoire. She had discovered that no matter how dumb she acted, men took it as a challenge to outdo her in feats of stupidity, resulting in a race to the intellectual bottom. Playing the dumb blonde was exhausting, and she had soon switched back to her natural auburn. College is about discovering yourself, and Courtney knew she could not bear to go through life playing dumb.
"Why not?" the blonde asked. "I can follow the shell even from here." She brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled at her would-be mentor, and pointed toward the fake-walnut shells being manipulated around the table by the operator -- a skinny runt of a man, looking like a street-smart con man who decided to come to a costume party dressed as a street-smart con man.
Courtney could barely breathe in her corset, and the glittering mask and makeup made her skin itch. Trav had the air conditioning at full blast, but with a houseful of costumed inebriates, the temperature was suffocating her. She needed air, or she needed someone to rip the corset off her body.
Preferably both,
she thought.
"That's what you are supposed to think," the upperclassman explained with more condescension than Courtney thought was warranted, "but the operator is a con artist. The ball is wherever the operator wants it to be after you choose. Either the ball is palmed, or he drops a spare under a shell you didn't pick. You can't win."
Courtney's impatience added to her sense of suffocation.
Where was he?
"At the Halloween party tomorrow," Michelle had said yesterday, "our boyfriends plan on switching costumes without telling us. Mike is going to try to fuck you, and Trav is coming after me."
She had spent the last day devising her plan. Her suitor wouldn't see this coming, but Courtney was discomfited that she hadn't seen their move coming even earlier. It should have been obvious that Mike would escalate after the
Phantom of the Opera
.
---
Three Weeks Earlier
"Dude, you know what would make this a better horror movie?" Mike watched as the Phantom stalked across the screen to the accompaniment of plinking piano music.
Courtney had been digging her fingernails into her forearm to keep from nodding off, but her ears sensed an impending tirade, which she felt would ease the monotony of Trav's movie-night borefest.
Trav ignored Mike, which was fine with Mike as he preferred to answer his own questions anyway. If you asked him why, he would say it made for better dialogue -- daring you to point out that a dialogue required two people. If you rose to the challenge, he would reply that he needed a second person to listen while making him a sandwich.
Mike was very fond of telling people to make him a sandwich.
"Do you know what would make this a better horror movie?" Mike repeated. "Actual horror. You know, like if the Phantom took a knife and started slashing the shit out of people, or if that underwater river of his gets oil poured on it, started on fire, and burns everyone alive. Instead, he tries to kill by chandelier, which has to be the gayest murder weapon ever."
The only response from Trav was a flash of a vacant smile that indicated he wasn't really listening, caught up as he was in a cineaste paradise of monochrome and mime.
Mike hated being ignored. "It would at least be slightly scary if he jumped up and yelled 'boo', but he would have to do it holding a title card because... it's a Silent! Fucking!! Movie!!!"
Courtney covered her face and coughed to cover the laugh, but knew she couldn't leave it at that. She was Trav's girlfriend. Even though the film was like watching a glacier melt in slow motion, she knew it was her role to defend Trav. He would never do it himself, and he might otherwise notice that she was as bored out of her skull as Mike was, which wouldn't do. She had invested too much time into pretending to like Trav's hobbies to throw it away now, so her voice rose in feigned annoyance. "You chose
American Psycho
, Travis chose this. Now shush."
Mike glared at her, but bit his tongue to ward off the verbal rejoinder. Mike knew that Trav might be gutless when it came to defending himself, but he had enough chivalry to defend the honor of his girlfriend. Courtney's behavior couldn't go unpunished, however, so Mike redirected it somewhere safe. "Michelle, make me a sandwich. Ham and Swiss on white. No mustard."
Michelle had been as engrossed in the film as Trav, but silently rose and walked to the kitchen. Michelle's blonde locks used to bounce when she walked, but the bounce disappeared from her step last spring, around the time she started dating Mike.
Mike's lips parted in a mocking smile, and he challenged Courtney with his eyes while Michelle obeyed his orders. To add imaginary insult to the imaginary injury he thought he had inflicted, he sucked down his bottle of beer, then obscenely tongued the opening, never breaking eye contact with her. He then called after Michelle. "And another Summit!"
The sexism was supposed to annoy her, so she pretended it did, scowling back at Mike. If Mike wasted his time pushing non-existent buttons, he wouldn't find real ones.
Courtney briefly considered whether Mike's treatment of Michelle
should have
annoyed her. The plucky little psych major Courtney had roomed with for two years wouldn't have put up with Mike's shit, but Courtney saw no reason to fight Michelle's battles for her.
College is about discovering yourself
, she thought,
and it's your own damned fault if you discover you are nothing but a doormat
.
Anyway, starting an argument about how Mike treated Michelle would distract Trav from his movie, which he probably wouldn't like.
Courtney looked back at the screen, frowned, and sent Michelle a quick text.
What's the name of the actor again?
The reply came back from the kitchen thirty seconds later.
Lon Chaney. The man of 1000 faces.
.
Courtney now had something with which to work. "That's impressive make-up. I read somewhere that Lon Chaney did his own and it's why he is called The Man of a Thousand Faces."
Trav reluctantly tilted his head away from the screen, as if fighting the resistance of an elastic cord connecting his eyes to the screen, but once he met eye contact with Courtney his attention was all hers. He smiled, showing brilliant teeth. Trav's smiles were beautiful, fueled by naive wonder, a lack of duplicity, and the best orthodonture money could buy.
Courtney returned his grin and Travis pulled her close and left a soft kiss on her mouth, which Courtney dutifully returned. Trav left his arm around her when he pulled back. "Yeah, the guy was amazing. He has wires pinning his nose up. Imagine Brad Pitt doing that to himself."
Mike grunted his exasperation at the screen. "Does he figure out a way to spare us the misery of listening to a harp for another hour? Why the fuck did they switch to a harp? I thought silent films only used pianos." Mike stopped and peered at the screen. "Wait, is that color?"
The Phantom was wearing a skull mask and was clad in red. Courtney was proud of herself for catching an Edgar Allen Poe reference without coaching from Michelle. After an hour of monochromatic boredom, the crimson costume on the screen was welcome respite.
Courtney decided to show off some more. "You rented a Ted Turnerized version? Surrender, Pod Person, and release the real Trav!" She was pretty sure he would be pleased by her knowing that colorization was deemed an outrage by film buffs. It was another tip Courtney had picked up from Michelle.
Trav switched into full lecture mode. "That isn't colorization. It's a Technicolor two-strip process. Only red and green. No yellow. A bunch of films had color scenes in The Twenties, and a few filmed the whole movie that way. Maybe we can watch
Black Pirate
next week."
Courtney forced a smile. She hadn't heard of it, and therefore doubted it starred Johnny Depp at his sexy best. "That sounds wonderful," she lied.
Trav's attention was back to the screen. "Wait, this is the scene I really wanted to watch."
Courtney leaned forward. "What, for your Halloween Party?"
"
Bal Masque, mon petit chou chou
. A Halloween Masquerade Ball. I want costume ideas." Trav paused the movie, taking notes.
Courtney did a quick tally: harlequin; guy with black hanky on face; Marie Antoinette before she met the sharp-toothed child of
Monsieur
Guillotine; Marie Antoinette's hotter, younger sister; guy with bird mask, and another guy with a hanky on his face. Not a single catwoman, ninja, french maid, phantom bride, or sexy she-devil.
Damn, the French were boring.
No scion of billionaires is ever short on friends, and Trav would drop enough money that it would be a well-attended party with fun had by most, but Courtney knew it would be less than it could be. Trav had too many geeky pretentions, which sucked some of the fun out of any room, like tonight. It was why he needed someone to manage his social affairs — someone like Courtney, but she sensed it was too soon to make that move.
"How many kegs?" Mike asked, fulfilling his role as designated neanderthal.
Trav considered. "Probably five, plus a punch bowl which you have permission to spike." Mike would have done it anyway, of course. "And a champagne fountain. There is no sense in doing this half-assed."
Courtney saw an opening and couldn't resist taking it. She missed the insult banter she had perfected with her old high school friends, and Mike was one of the few people who could benefit from having his ego punctured once in awhile. "With Mike here, you should have no problem making this fully- assed."
Mike's smile looked benign to Travis, but Courtney looked for, and saw, the knife behind Mike's humorless grin. She caught her breath and involuntarily flinched away from him.
Satisfied with her reaction, Mike turned to watch Michelle walk toward him with a ham sandwich on a plate, and a beer. He threw Courtney a brief glance to tell her that the next line was for her benefit. "What, no napkin? Michelle, you have to be more considerate to Trav's furniture."
Courtney rolled her eyes as Michelle went off in search of napkins. She wondered once again how someone as sweet as Michelle could bear to be with such a jerk. Whenever she asked Michelle that question, the response was "Michael and Michelle just kind of go together don't they? And he makes me laugh."