At first, it seemed like a stupid idea. Susie, the office cheerleader, wanted to have a Secret Pal name exchange. Jennie thought it was incredibly silly and a needless expense. But she went along with it because they needed something to make them a happier, more content office. She supposed every office was structured like hers. Janice was the office busybody, who knew everything about everybody. The office know-it-all was Becky, who could hold court for at least 30 minutes on absolutely any subject. Sherry and Donna were her best friends, she would do anything for them. Susie, the pompom girl, was ok, but just so damn happy all the time. The other women were just prototypes.
They were the office prudes or sluts, the happily married, the unhappily married, the pleased divorcees, even the few with an alternate lifestyle, each determined to make others accept their way of life. There were many more women than men. This made the men pretty happy. Dan was a player, always ready to flirt. Jim was a newlywed, nervous and anxious about the married condition. William was the sweet man everyone trusted with their troubles. He listened and kept it all to himself, never even hinting about the deep secrets he held. And then there was Rick. He was their immediate supervisor and his life's goal seemed to be making everyone miserable, but Jennie most of all. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how well she did, he felt there was room for improvement. She considered it a good day without one "Come by my office" from Rick. So, at the beginning of a dreary January, when Susie suggested the Secret Pals, Jennie was glad to agree.
Susie put every name in a box and had people draw. Jennie was happy to see she had drawn Donna's name and began planning all the little gifts she would buy. The rules were simple. You had a Secret Pal and told no one the name. Every month, you bought a little something to brighten their day and let them know someone cared. It did not have to be expensive, just a little reminder that someone out there likes you. After all the names were drawn, everyone walked around with a smile on their face, keeping this secret. A worksheet was passed around with blanks for information about likes and dislikes. There were spaces for favorite color, cologne, candle scent, and earrings. Jennie needed no such sheet for her friend Donna. They had gone to college together and been suite-mates. They moved to this city together and had even shared an apartment during their struggling "new job" days. Now they lived near each other and often spent their evenings together. Neither was involved, or even dating, so they had lots of time to share.
Jennie had to admit, the Secret Pal thing had really changed the office dynamics. Everyone seemed happier, more of a team than before. The backbiting that often thrived in an office of mostly women seemed to be lessened. Everyone's spirit was lifted and the entire organization benefited from it. There was a spot in the office where the gifts were left to be discovered. All eyes checked there when entering the building each day. If there was a present there, they all gathered to watch the recipient open it and then took turns admiring the wonderful gift. Everyone but Rick. He never joined them for the opening of presents, never took his turn oohing and aahing over the cleverness of the gift-giver. Jennie thought it was a shame because he could have made giant strides toward being liked and accepted if he only spent some time with them.
As the months passed, most of them figured out the identity of their Pal. But no one, not even Janice, knew who Jennie's Secret Pal was. All Jennie knew was her gifts were fabulous. They were sometimes a very inexpensive little trinket, but each one seemed made for her. They were often small, esoteric items that meant so much to her. She was very careful with her treasures. Each one seemed made for her life, fitting perfectly into her home or wardrobe. She knew whoever her pal was, he was someone who knew her well.
She found herself looking at her male co-workers differently. She felt pretty sure her Pal was male, and that he was trying to impress her. Her guess was William. He was so nice, so kind, he would be the one to know what would please her. He was very attentive and pleasant. She secretly thought of him as the Gentle Giant. He was very tall and well-built. He made her feel so tiny and delicate beside him, and he treated her as if she were fragile. When he finally had the nerve to ask her out, Jennie said yes. They dated on and off throughout the year, going to office events and an occasional concert. She would go listen to him sing at his church or with the youth group. She really liked him, but felt nothing romantic for him.
Their friendship gave her someone to complain to about Rick. He was still making her life miserable, constantly finding something wrong with everything she did. Jennie thought her work was good, even better than most, but Rick seemed to have decided she needed the most correction.
Finally, it was December, the month the Secret Pals would be unveiled. Jennie went out with William several times that month and accepted his invitation to the office Christmas party. She actually expected to find that William was her Pal and she was glad. Her gifts had always been very wonderful, special, individual. Jennie felt that William knew her better than almost anyone and wished she could share his apparent romantic interest. He would have been a perfect partner for her, but she couldn't make herself think of him that way, and hoped, once again, she didn't hurt him.
Jennie took care dressing for the party. She had gone shopping with Donna and both of them had a fun day trying on all sorts of elegant clothing. They spent time in the expensive lingerie shop, modeling the beautiful underthings and wishing they had someone to buy them for. Feeling whimsical, Jennie bought pretty lacy panties and a garter belt, along with sheer hosiery. After an entire day at the Mall, they had both bought very festive dresses. Hers was bright red, fitted in the bodice, with a full short skirt. She wore strappy sandals, with a higher heel than she was used to. One nice thing about dating William was his height. She was so short and small beside him, she could wear high heels and not fear being too tall. She left her long hair down, soft and curly with a little silvery tinsel braided through the curls. The dress was nearly backless, and her hair sensuously brushed on her bare skin. Even her makeup had a glittery look to it, she felt very pretty and sparkly. She sprayed on her favorite vanilla scent, inhaling the sweetness and smiling. As she dressed, she once again wished she was preparing for an evening with a lover, instead of a good friend. She wanted so much to be loved and return the love, and knew that would never happen with William. She decided this would be their last date and she would tell him as kindly as possible after the party.
When William arrived at her apartment, he handed her a gift. She was puzzled, because she expected her usual Secret Pal gift at the party, when he announced himself to be her Pal. She opened the gaudily wrapped package and found a huge bottle of some very inexpensive cologne. She smiled and thanked him, hugging him briefly as she reached for her coat.
At the party, William began drinking almost immediately. He was quietly sitting on a couch, sipping his scotch and watching Jennie. She didn't notice and continued chatting with her friends about the party, the men and the fashions. William joined them briefly, standing possessively by Jennie, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. When he moved away, Jennie felt relief. She knew this would be their last date, she just didn't have the feelings for him that he wanted.
