My wife and I were living a pretty happy life together in our early 30s. Even after five years of marriage we had plenty to talk about, had lots of fun going out or staying in together, and still found time to have sex at least two or three times every week. We were both still fairly attractive and youthful for our age. Sure I had put on a few pounds, and sure we got into ruts as far as what to eat for dinner every night, or what to watch on TV. I would occasionally cook something basic for dinner, but overall on an average weekday we had settled into a sort of lazy and sedentary lifestyle of ordering pizza or chinese and watching Netflix.
If someone put a gun to my head and told me I absolutely had to complain about something, then I guess it would be that I wasn't really getting blowjobs anymore. Not to completion like when we were still dating anyway. But at least oral was still frequently on the menu as foreplay, so I couldn't really complain. A lot of guys in my position have to beg for sex, or so I've been told. Life was actually pretty good.
The one thing my wife and I both agreed needed to change was our smoking habits. When we first met, neither of us were heavy smokers, but social smoking while out at bars or parties with friends turned habitual after awhile. And even though neither of us typically had more than six or eight in a day (a bit more if drinking), quitting proved to be extremely difficult. Inevitably one of us would cheat, usually by bumming a smoke while out drinking, and a day later she or I would buy a pack and we would both go right back to our old ways.
It was my wife who first suggested we try a hypnotist to stop smoking. I had been hearing the amateurish radio ads for the local hypnotist, Dr. James Gregory, for several months and didn't think anything of it. It seemed like a good way to lose money to me. But my wife read about him on some blog she reads, and found some reviews online swearing that Dr. Gregory had cured people of smoking and other addictions after just one session. She was pretty sure he was legit.
"What have we got to lose?" my wife pleaded.
"What does he charge? That much times two," I said.
"Five hundred per person. But he does couples together for $750."
"Think of how much fun we could have in Vegas with $750."
"Think of how much money we will save not buying a pack of cigarettes every other day."
She had a point. I agreed to let her make an appointment for the following Friday. When the time came, I picked my wife up from work, and we drove out to Dr. Gregory's office in a nearby suburb. His office was inconspicuously located in a strip mall storefront. We entered the front door, and I was a bit surprised that there wasn't any reception or waiting area, and that Dr. Gregory himself was at the door to greet us. Doctor of what? I wondered.
"Come on in, have a seat on the couch there," he said.
We exchanged pleasantries and though I was beyond skeptical, I handed him a check for $750. Soon, without being too specific, he explained a little bit about his process and how his brand of hypnotism is by far the most successful of any in the the country. Normally all it takes is one session to fully quit smoking, though in some cases one or two followup sessions may be necessary in order to "tweak" the hypnosis cues, whatever that meant.
"Who would like to go first?" he asked, looking directly at me.
"I thought we were doing it as a couple?" my wife asked.
"Yes, but each person's response to stimuli is different, so it really works best if we do it one-on-one. You're both welcome to stay and observe each other, of course."
I volunteered myself to go first. Dr. Gregory instructed me to relax, to breathe deeply, and to close my eyes until I was told to open them. He told me to imagine nothing, only blackness. Breathe in, breathe out. Some new agey music began playing. When I was told to open my eyes, I almost laughed. Dr. Gregory had some kind of gold wand he was moving up and down in front of me almost exactly like the "rubber pencil" trick we used to do in grade school. What kind of quackery was this?
"Focus on the wand. Observe its energy, spiralling around the room. Your energy is bonded to it. Feel your own energy spiral outward. Listen carefully to what I say."
I admit that whatever he was doing with that wand was captivating, that I don't think I could have looked away, nor did I want to.
"I ME WE YOU SHE WE THREE SEE I ME WE YOU SHE WE THREE SEE I ME..."
Slowly he chanted these words, or words similar to this. I can't exactly remember. But it went on for a couple of minutes before he announced it was over.
*CLAP!*
"And now your wife's turn," he said abruptly.
"That was it?" I was in disbelief. How could that have possibly accomplished anything?
"You were deep in a trance-like state of intense focus for somewhere around fifteen minutes. They say you only need ten, but I prefer a full fifteen."
"You don't remember anything?" my wife chimed in. "You seemed awake."
"Honestly, no."
"Then I am confident that this will be successful. Shall we continue?" Dr. Gregory said, turning to my wife.
He performed a similar routine on her, with the breathing and the wand and the "I ME WE YOU HE" chants. Soon, she was staring blankly at nothing, seemingly in a trance.
"Speak to her. Try to break her concentration," he told me.
"Honey, can you hear me?"
Nothing.
I waved my hand in front of her face, yet there was no response.
"Boo!" I screamed suddenly, but she didn't even blink.
Dr. Gregory produced a small bell, and softly rang it for a few seconds.
"The sight of a lit cigarette," he began, "reminds you of the pain and suffering of animals. The death of children. The smell of cigarette smoke is old cat litter full of piss and shit. The taste of the smoke is akin to rotten eggs and spoiled milk. You take no pleasure at all in smoking cigarettes. Cigarettes are vile, disgusting reminders of your own mortality."
I squirmed as he said these things, aware of my own visceral, horrified reaction to his description of cigarettes. Certainly I felt no desire to smoke.
"This is going well," Dr. Gregory said, turning to me. "While we have her in this susceptible state, is there anything else perhaps I could help her to do or to not do? Anything that might be to your benefit?"
"What do you mean?" I genuinely had no clue what he was talking about.
"Sometimes a gentleman has certain requests for his wife, an increased libido for example is quite popular."
"You can do that?"
"For an extra fee of $500, yes."
My gut reaction was to grab my wife and leave before this creep could do anything to her, but instead I sat and contemplated his offer. Frankly, I didn't have any issues with my wife's libido, but it would be nice to get a few more blowjobs now and then. But I didn't want to have some magic word I could say that would turn her into an unresponsive sex doll.
"How would that work?" I asked. "You teach me how to put her in a trance, then I have my way with her?"
"No, nothing like that. It works just like smoking cessation therapy does. Only instead of being averse to certain behaviors that now have negative associations, I can associate positive reactions with any behavior of your choosing."
"So let's say I wanted her to go down on me more often."
"A very common request, and very easy to do. Has she ever enjoyed it?"
"Yes, once upon a time."
"Then I will teach her to naturally like it again, and to perform fellatio frequently and eagerly of her own volition."
"But she will still be able to control herself right? I don't want to take away her free will."
"Yes and no," Dr. Gregory hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "Just as she is now, she won't ever be coerced into doing anything she doesn't want to do. She can always choose whether she wants to do the certain act. But she will generally want to do it because it will bring her great pleasure. The pleasure part she can't control."
I thought about it for a minute. Was this unethical? Certainly it was unethical for Dr. Gregory, but was it for me? My wife used to love performing oral on me, and still did on occasion, just hardly ever to completion. If all the hypnotist was offering was to help her find joy in that activity again, then I was fully on board.
"That sounds like it would be worth $500 to me," I said, once again taking my checkbook out of my pocket.