Jenny is a thief. Her larceny might not be grand, but she certainly is accomplished. The chances are that if you've met her, she has something of yours stored in a jar in her second bedroom. You won't see it again. She fancies herself a collector, you know.
"Ma'am, the butter knife is missing." said the handsome waiter with the impossibly white, starched apron.
"Oh, really? Perhaps the busboy dropped it on the way to the kitchen," said the girl as she snapped the clasp on her handbag.
"Now, where is my pen? I'm sure it was on my desk," said the gray haired, bank officer as he rifled the papers on his desk.
"Oh, I'm sorry, but I haven't seen it. What does it look like?" asked the girl innocently as she re-smoothed the skirt over her crossed thighs.
Who hasn't borrowed something and forgotten to return it? Perhaps, you felt guilty for a while, always intending to bring that 'something' back. As the days passed, it became a forgotten item at the bottom of your kitchen junk drawer. When you find it years later, you wrinkle your brow and say, "Where did this come from?"
Jenny skips all that anxiety. No, rather, she seeks out the thrill, and she revels in the trophies. They don't exist at the bottom of drawer as a dimly remembered embarrassment. The sit on display, stored in a private place under lock and key-a bedroom, lined with curio cabinets and decorative shelving. Items of special note are kept in glass containers and artfully lit.
"Where are you, Patty?" Jenny mumbled to herself as she flipped through hangers in the closet of her secret room. There is a sexy red dress she had stolen from a former lover that she planned to wear tonight. She found it sandwiched between a tan trench coat and a lavender shirt. As she laid it out, she mused about how lovely it had looked on Patricia, and how euphoric she was when it was shed to the bedroom floor.
---
Rick placed his hand over Jenny's. The pasta dishes at Trattoria Giovanni's were gone, the check was paid and Chianti bottle was nearly empty. Jenny smiled as she swirled her wine glass with her free hand and said, "Say, what time is it?... Oh, such a nice watch!" she remarked.
Rick glanced at his wrist and said, "Thanks. It's an Omega. It's the only one I own, so I invested in a good one." He smiled anemically as if his extravagant watch was an embarrassment.
'Practical but not frugal,' Jenny thought, assessing her date. But, an Omega Speedmaster would certainly be missed, so it likely would not wind up in her purse tonight.
This is how the game works for Jenny. Her dinner companion seems like a perfectly acceptable man- dark thick hair, a clean-shaven face, a masculine manner, but gentle touch. He's articulate and funny too. For many women, this would be reason enough for a quick fuck and a cab ride home. Others might be looking for a continuing relationship and longer term financial support. But Jenny's real satisfaction comes from identifying a mark, surveying his possessions and relieving him of something unique but not too obvious.
Of course fucking is fun too and never out of the question.
Jenny said, "So, Rick, what would you like to do next? I would offer my apartment for drinks, but it's a mess."
Rick leaned back, a thoughtful look crossed his face and he stuttered for the first time, "Uh, well, we could go to mine, but, I'm afraid you might be underwhelmed."
Jenny took his hand and said with a grin, "Oh nonsense!" She stood abruptly, pulled him along through the red-checked covered tables, out the front door and hailed a cab.
---
"Did you just move in?" asked Jenny with a note of concern in her voice. She stood in the front room of Rick's apartment. It was laid out much like hers, but almost completely bare. There were two matched upholstered chairs facing each other, a torchiere floor lamp and nothing else. Seriously. Nothing.
Rick called back from the kitchen, "No, why?"
Jenny glanced around the room, hoping she had missed something. There was no television, no coffee table, no couch, no potted plants...no pictures on the wall. This room could have been a secret lair where ax murderers dismember their victims on a plastic tarp, except there weren't even drapes on windows.
Rick appeared at her elbow and offered her a tumbler from the kitchen. He set another on the window sill, and retrieved a pocket knife to slit the foil around the neck of the wine bottle. "I told you I thought you might be underwhelmed." he said with a good natured smile as he twisted in the fold-out corkscrew.
"Where do you keep your snow globes?" asked Jenny curiously.
"What?" said Rick as he poured wine into Jenny's glass. He looked around the room, and said with a sheepish grin, "Oh, I don't have any. I have no use for... flotsam," he explained. "I am a minimalist. I accumulate nothing."
"Really?" asked Jenny with a laugh, thinking the premise was not just improbable, but outrageous.
Rick nodded sagely as they settled into the chairs, and explained, "There is nothing to divert my attention. Nothing that demands higher priority than what exists in this moment."
Jenny nodded but Rick's gaze troubled her. It was intense. She hoped his heightened awareness wouldn't see through her facade, and burrow into her brain, turning over dirt she would prefer left un-plowed.
She said, "Can I use your bathroom?"
"Sure!" said Rick brightly. "It's right down the hall."
Not seeing a place to set her wine down, she took it with her.
Squatting over the toilet, Jenny thought to herself, 'What is going on here?' She carefully pushed open the glass tub enclosure. Standing in the corner, was a lonely bottle of shampoo. As she ran water in the sink, she swung open the medicine cabinet and saw only aspirin, toothpaste and a plastic-handled razor. A toothbrush lay on the edge of the sink alongside a bar of soap. Under the cabinet there was nothing but a spare roll of toilet paper. She dried her hands thoughtfully with the bathroom's lone towel.
Jenny decided there must be much more to Rick and his spartan apartment...somewhere. She appraised herself in the mirror and whispered, "Time to step up the game, girl."
If Rick was surprised when Jenny returned to the living room naked, he didn't show it. She strolled through in heels, and nothing else. His eyes followed her appreciatively as she sauntered past him to the window. "Your apartment certainly feels... less cramped than mine," she said conversationally.
Rick nodded, smiled amiably from the armchair and said, "Yes, I'm glad you feel so... comfortable."
Jenny bent over at the waist and placed her hands on the window sill. Eyeing Rick's reflection in the window glass, she said, "I'd like to spend the night. Would you show me the bedroom now?"
---
The sex had not been disappointing. Rick's body was heavenly hard and his intensity was undeniable. Through it all, she never lost Rick's attention. Long after she had been satisfied and his semen had been expended, he remained by her side with his arms wrapped around her body. She felt warm and safe.
What was a disappointment was Rick's lack of possessions. His closet was sparse. His bed was a mattress on the floor with a blanket. Other than a library book and a small table lamp on the floor there was nothing to be seen, nothing to take.
Jenny sat at her kitchen table eyeing the Swiss army knife she'd managed to sneak into her purse. For the first time ever, it seemed wrong to her. It was a consolation prize, but now, taking it just seemed like a lame thing to do. He was such a considerate, comfortable man. Perhaps she can call and apologize- tell him it was force of habit, or, better yet, tell him she wanted something to commemorate their first date. She shook her head as she dropped it into a small mason jar, and screwed on the lid. No, it would join the others in her second bedroom collection.
It was two days later when Rick called.
"Hi Jenny? I really had a great time the other night." he said.
"Oh hi," she said, "Me too."
"I was wondering if..." he said.
"Yes," she said warily.
"...you might want to go out with me again?" Rick asked expectantly.
They met at Vuja De and danced. Jenny was relieved there had been no mention of a missing pocket knife and the club provided a very welcome distraction. All the lights and throbbing music was stimulating, but she was really surprised how well Rick danced. He moved with a sort of confidence she hadn't seen in many of the men she'd dated. Where had he picked that up?
As she sat at the bar with Rick in a break from the music, Jenny casually slipped a stainless-steel jigger from the bar into her purse. Sure neither Rick nor the bartender had noticed, and she was self-righteously proud. She had skills, you know.
"So, Rick," she asked taking a sip from her drink, "Where did you learn to dance?
He grinned and said, "Oh... sometimes I sing and dance in my apartment."
She eyed him slyly, "Really? To what? You don't have a stereo, do you? Maybe hidden away?"
Rick held up his cell phone in response as the dance music started up again. He leaned over and shouted in her ear, "Would you like to go there again? I can show you."
---
"Awe, let 'em look," was all Rick had said when Jenny objected to dancing in front of the windows. However, his cellphone produced surprisingly good sound in the hollow apartment. As their night danced on, clothes were removed and scattered about the floor-shedding any remaining Puritan inclinations she might have had.
"Hey you! Down there! Look at me!" she shouted into the glass, to someone far below as she waggled her tits. She laughed, grabbed Rick's penis and drew him close to the window. "Hey ladies, look at what I got here!" she shouted to neighbors across the street. Good natured Rick's dick started to swell in her hand and his composure became serious. Jenny could feel the energy and yearning build within her as well. They embraced and kissed passionately right there in front of the windows for all to see.
The next morning found Jenny back at her kitchen table examining her stolen jigger. It was a common thing- something you'd find in any bar, but this one reminded her of her new lover. They danced like maniacs at the club and in his apartment; and laughed like kids into the wee hours. They made love on his mattress till they were both exhausted, and slept soundly in each other's arms till morning.
Jenny smiled at her shiny bar implement and decided it belonged in her collection. If anything came between Rick and her, she'd still had this and his pocket knife. She rummaged in her purse for the key to the second bedroom.
"What the hell?" said Jenny as she dumped her purse on the kitchen table. As she sifted through the detritus of lipstick, hairpins and scraps of paper like she was searching for that single missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle she became increasingly frantic.
