To those who have lost and deserve all the joy they find!
---[]--- ---[]---
"I can't believe I came to hear this!"
I hadn't paid much attention to the woman at my left, but I felt the same way.
We were sitting in a continuing legal education lunch hour meeting. One of those things the state bar sponsors, held at its headquarters. CLE is a sore subject with many. Still required in most states and 90% of lawyers consider it a complete waste of time.
We all understand the intent. Educate lawyers on new cases or provide basic knowledge in an area other than a lawyer's normal practice area. The flaw in that logic should be obvious. Good lawyers already know. Bad ones don't care.
I didn't mind these bar-sponsored ones--as a social event, although the sandwiches today were nasty dry. I took one bite and gave up. I was here to rub shoulders with a bunch of friends. Get an hour of CLE. But this was an insult!
A young attorney was speaking about an old Supreme Court case ... from 1945 ... called
International Shoe
... I think the plaintiff in the original case was the State of Washington. An important case on a legal issue called "personal jurisdiction."
The problem is, that case is taught in every law school in the first semester of Civil Procedure. We all know it. Worse than that, for most of us the issue never comes up! At least not with facts that would make that the best case to cite.
When the woman next to me made her remark, I glanced over and said, "Yeah. First semester Civ Pro. This is a total waste of time!"
I had been practicing for about fifteen years. I still remembered the case and how the issue was decided. "Do you ever need to know this in your practice? Have you cited it once since law school?"
"Not one time!"
A lawyer in front of us glanced back, apparently unhappy with the whispering.
My friend laughed quietly. "I guess he's fascinated by the topic!"
I smiled. "Maybe he cites it on every case."
After a couple more minutes, she leaned over, "Hey, you wanna get out of here and grab a bite of edible food?"
I nodded. What the heck!
She held up her cell phone and looked at me, as if to say, "Follow me."
She pretended to receive a text, read it and show it to me. It was just her home screen, but she nodded to me as if was something grave and motioned with her head for me to follow.
In the hallway, we both laughed.
"My name's Joan, by the way."
"I'm Jonathan ... Jon. No 'h.' Do you want to drive separate cars, or would you like me to drive? What's your preference?"
"I'll leave my car here, if I can ride with you."
"Let's do it! Where do you want to go?"
She suggested a sandwich shop in an area of the city I was not very familiar with. It's not far from downtown, where we were, but the opposite direction from my office and my house.
"You'll have to help me with directions."
As I drove, I learned we had attended the same law school. I graduated five years earlier. She handled family law. I was in real estate transactions.
I glanced over a couple of times to see whether she was wearing a ring. No.
We arrived and went inside. It was a casual, sit-down place. She recommended her favorite sandwich.
Now a few minutes to talk while we waited.
"Tell me a little about yourself, Jon. Non-lawyer stuff."
"I grew up not far from downtown, but the other side from here. Attended Spencer High School."
"I went to Caswell ... rivals!"
"Yeah, that seemed important then, didn't it? Anyway, I went to U.C. Berkley for my undergraduate ... political science. Then I came home for law school. I wanted to practice here."
"Not a lot of personal info there. Married?"
"About that ... I haven't married. I almost did once."
I looked down and shook my head a little.
"You know, people talk about brides getting left standing at the altar."
"She backed out with you standing there?"
"Yeah. Literally. Her father brought her to me, but she stood there for maybe five seconds and ran."
"Ouch! That's awful! I'll bet it was embarrassing."
"Not fun." Although that had happened fifteen years earlier, I was inexplicably close to tears. I had to change the subject.
"Joan, how about you? What's your story?"
"I grew up in the Bay Area. East Bay. Fremont. Moved here during high school, then went to San Francisco State, then back here for law school. As far as personal life, disappointing."
"You really don't have to ..."
"No, what you shared wasn't fun either. I was happily married ... I thought. My husband absolutely did not want children. I didn't know that before we married. He insisted on birth control. I hated condoms so I started on the pill.
"Five years ago, he said his company wanted him in Indiana for 6 months. He always traveled there a lot before that. Then it turned into a year. Then he moved to Connecticut. I finally got fed up and filed for divorce a couple of months ago. I'm having trouble locating him for service, so I've hired an investigator."
She wiped away a tear.
Our server brought our sandwiches.
"Thanks for recommending this. It's a great sandwich!"
"Everything I've ever eaten here is good. I'm glad you like it."
After we finished eating, I wanted to return to her situation.
"Joan, in some ways your marriage is more painful than me being left at the altar, isn't it?"
'It is. A dead marriage that lingers on."
"Are you willing to date?"
"Are you asking?"
I laughed. "I almost said, 'Do you want me to ask?' That sounded too circular. I guess, what ..."
"Yes, I want you to ask. Does that help?"
"Maybe that CLE wasn't a total waste, after all."
We both laughed. Then we exchanged numbers.
"Joan, I have no idea what your interests are. Maybe we should start with dinner and see where to go from there."
"I'd like that. I'll let you be the guy this time and pick the place!"
"Let me give that a little thought and call you. I promise I will."
"I am really looking forward to it. Thanks, Jon."
I drove her back to her car. The parking lot was almost empty now. I laughed at a thought: whether the speaker was still going strong.
---[]--- ---[]---
That night, I thought a lot about Joan. She must be about 35. That means she was virtually abandoned at 30! Amazing!
I thought Joan was very attractive, although even a CLE is too professional a setting for clothing to show off one's beauty.
I wanted to find a place for dinner that was quiet enough to talk. Not like a Friday's or Chili's.
I thought of the perfect one! Beaumarchais, an excellent French restaurant that opened about five years previously. Nice, quiet dining. I called and made a reservation for 7:30 pm that Friday.
I called Joan. I was nervous as hell! She could probably tell, but she was very nice. She gave me her address and I said I would pick her up at 7 pm on Friday.
"How should I dress?"
"Sorry, I'm way out of practice. The reservation is at Beaumarchais. Have you been there?"
"No, I don't like to dine alone. It sounds dressy."
"It is ... is that alright? We can go somewhere more ..."
"I love to dress up. Would it be too much to wear a simple black dress?"
"I don't own one of those. I'll probably just wear a suit."
"Good. One of us should, and I don't own one. Jon, I really look forward to Friday. I hope you know that."
---[]--- ---[]---
I hadn't dated in a long time. That thought was on my mind that night as I put my shoes in the closet. I stared at the shoes. They were so old, not even polishing them would have helped. Why was I wearing these still?
I looked through my other shoes. All old. That led me to my suit. Tired looking. Fine for my law practice. Awful for a first date! Shirt? Frayed. I didn't want to look at my ties!
Since I hadn't married, I'd saved a lot of money. My income from my practice was lucrative, and I'd managed to save nearly $80,000 a year for the previous six years. Over $100k in a recent year! That was on top of stuffing a lot into my firm's 401(k) for fifteen years. My home was nearly paid for as well.
Yet there I was. A bunch of worn-out clothes.
The next day, I went to the office, checked on the status of a couple of projects, and told my secretary, Monica, I was going clothes shopping.
"What's her name, Jon?"
"I'm going to ignore that, but it's Joan."
Monica had been my secretary for six years. She imposed order on my practice, mostly by keeping track of my progress on each client matter currently open. Every Monday, I answered to her. That was my request when I hired her.
I never thought to put her in charge of my clothes. She would not have allowed me to look like this!
One advantage I knew I had. I can normally wear things off the rack. Of course, suit pants always need to be hemmed to length.
I picked out two new suits, with an assurance one of them would be finished Friday morning. I added six new shirts, four ties and a new belt. I went to a shoe store and picked out two new pairs of shoes. One black, one brown.
When I tried on the shoes, I noticed a hole in one of my socks. Are you kidding me?
---[]--- ---[]---
I rang her doorbell.
"Hi! It's so nice to see you again. Were you this handsome Tuesday?"
"No. I hit the gym, dropped 20 pounds and added muscle tone. I would have done more, but I only had three days."
She laughed. "Good use of your time!"
"But Joan, you look amazing!"
"I shouldn't tell you this, but I realized all my clothes are professional. Nothing attractive at all. It's been so long since I've had a reason to go out, I had to go shopping."
"Well, I love what you found. That's a stunning dress!"
"Thanks, Jon. I appreciate that."
She was wearing a little black dress. Short, revealing beautiful legs. Also cut low. I was going to struggle all evening to look at her face and not lower!
I opened the car door for her. As I started the car, she leaned over and kissed my cheek.
"Thank you. It's nice to be with a gentleman."
Her eyes were glistening with tears.
---[]--- ---[]---
"Have you eaten here, Jon?"
"Only once. Right after it opened. I don't like dining alone, either."
We were seated quickly and studied the menu. We ordered and then had time to talk.
"Joan, I'd like to talk about things you like to do, but that assumes you will want to go out again. I know, that's the kind of thing you may not know yet, but I have a question. Regardless of your interest in seeing me, do you intend to date now, despite your marriage?"
