Sexual Journey - Guilt to Empowerment

I started college in 1971 as a virgin and lost my virginity at the start of my Spring semester in 1973. At the time, I associated sex with love and when he broke up with me about a month later, I was crushed. It took me several weeks to get over the fact that he saw me as just someone to fuck but once I realized sex and love are separate, I decided to play the field.

After the breakup with him, I started sleeping around. With a lot of guys.

I fucked another four or five guys before the end of the spring semester. When I returned home for the summer, I screwed a couple of guys who were friends from high school. I was quiet and shy in high school, and they were amazed when they saw the transformation that had taken place when I was away at college.

When I returned to college, I was asked to become a Little Sis in one of the fraternities in college. That led to my regularly have sex with several of the brothers.

One weekend, I ended up having sex with two of the brothers -- one right after the other. After it was over and I cleaned up my pussy, put in a panty liner to catch the cum, and got dressed. I walked out of the bedroom and several of the fraternity brothers were there.

It was the classic Walk of Shame. The other brothers in the rest of the house watched as I walked through the living room and out the door. Here I was -- 20 years old, walking out of a house with cum from two men inside me. I am sure they knew I had just been fucked twice.

A couple of days later, one of the other Little Sis's asked me "Did you have sex with two of the brothers on Saturday afternoon? Everyone is talking about it." She had heard about it from one of the brothers in the fraternity and when I heard that, my heart sunk.

I regretted what happened and felt cheapened by letting those two guys screw me like that. That afternoon, I had been used as a receptacle for their lust and cum, but it launched my journey of sexual exploration. I was determined to not let that afternoon ruin my enjoyment of sex and thought that if I was regarded as a whore or slut...so be it. I did not care and was going to fuck who I wanted and when I wanted.

Over the next eight years, I ended up having sex with 35 men. I found out that many of the guys who sought me were friends with my previous lovers. I guess my reputation was known around town and at work I was known as a swinging single girl. I did not care. I fucked them. I sucked them. They brought me to nice orgasms, and I did the same for them.

Then, after I met the man who became my husband, the next chapter started. I was very open with him about my past and instead of scaring him off, it turned him on even more. He said that after the night I told him about my past, he returned home and jacked off several times. He asked me to pose nude for him and over the next several years, I posed in various stages of undress.

We posted many of the pics on internet sites and we were both turned on by reading the comments.

About eight years after we were married, I started a one-year affair with a 28-year-old co-worker. He was single, never married. My husband was traveling on business, and my sexual needs were not being met. My co-worker pleasured me in ways my husband could not. My husband had always suspected the affair and when I confessed it to him three years ago, he took full responsibility for not taking care of my sexual needs. It was then that he wanted to see me having sex with other men. At first, I was reluctant but after thinking about it, I thought why not? My husband wants to watch me fuck other men and he is fully supportive? Three years ago, I became a Hot Wife and have had long term relationships with two FWBs who are much younger than me.

I love the sex. They love having sex with me. I decided to take one more step and found several black men who enjoyed playing with me. I enjoy the sex with them and now have a stable of six men that regularly have sex with me. My husband loves watching me and engages in light bi-sexual play with my lovers.

Early on, I realized that I have much more sexual power than the men I fucked and that men line up to fuck me. Yes, I was used as a fuck toy in the fraternity house in 1973 but now I enjoy men of all types (black, white, Hispanic) and love taking their semen into my mature married pussy.

I am sexually empowered.