Split Tree Resort Dino Dig 03
[A university owned half-sized school bus pulls up in the resort's circle driveway and 'sputter, sputter, spit, boom, sputter' shuts down and parks it, while only the driver emerges as she struggles to pull her teeny knit dress down from the exposed thigh show she gave to her entire team for the 2 hour drive down to the resort]
"[Ding, ding, ding goes the front desk bell] hello? Service please, hello?"
"[Swishes from around back wall] hello, I'm Twiddle Dee from the resort's front desk and I'm not ready to ramble on and on about the dream that I had last night where I'm all of a sudden into boyfriend dates who have preppie hair without being a preppie, occasionally wear black jeans without being a goth guy and are shy without actually being shy, so, let me just say that the resort is all a buzz over Paleontologist Professor Muffy Muffins' team findings of a few dead big cat Dino bone fragments and a few teeth at the dig site down in the valley, so, how may I help you, hmm?"
"Oh, well then, um, hello Twiddle Dee, I'm Tuli, a post grad student from the Archaeology team at the university and I'm not here to gloat, not at all, but Paleontologist Professor Muffy Muffins contacted me in a frantic tizzy at 5am this morning and finally admitted, I mean, she finally said that she needed the Archaeology team's help, mm-hmm. And Twiddle Dee, you can respond back to that with what you know about why Professor Muffins was even awake at 5am in such a tizzy and if it's because Muffy had a live Dino bone in her Muffin, mm-hmm, I'm listening intently and my archaeologist team will be busy unpacking the bus for a few minutes, so, make it as juicy as my thighs then, mm-hmm!"
"[Tap, tap, tap] I mean, Tuli, it's not my place to say that one way or another, but we've ordered a bronze plaque already this morning and then we ordered another bronze plaque to announce the finding of a dead Dino or two, mm-hmm! Anyways, Tuli, Professor Muffy already told me all about how your archaeology team is saving the dead Dino dig day event by delivering several dirt sifter tables because those weird ass wire screen top tables are important to sifting out bone fragments and teeth, so, we were expecting you. But first, what the professor didn't tell me was how many times you've recently ended a boyfriend date with a nightcap at your place, where you changed into something more comfortable and then your something more comfortable was a very sheer nightie evening gown, which highlighted your amazing nude body to your boyfriend date as you stood between him and the fireplace and chit chatted over a cocktail, so?"
"Oh, I mean, Twiddle Dee, I swear to it that I never did that more than twice because after the fourth time I did that, I realized that my boyfriend dates were video recording me with their phones and I quit that trick all together after the sixth time because my sheer nightie nudie vids were showing up on social media as a meme known as 'poker fire' and that gave me a rep that I didn't want, so, twice and no more. So, moving on because as we just discussed, I'm way too hot, I mean, I'm needed here to save the day because..."
"[Tap, tap, tap] before we move on, Tuli, please educate me..."
"Well, well, well, let's put it on your lobby's announcement letter board that nobody at this resort can get enough of me today, mm-hmm and there's plenty of me to go around, so, what can I educate you with today and if it's about how Professor Muffy Muffins has owned the cover of 'dig it good and dig it deep' monthly magazine, I mean, let's not put that on your lobby's announcement letter board, so?"
"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm, as I was saying, Tuli, it's my understanding that although similar, the main difference between the paleontology nerds and the archaeology geeks, is that the paleontology nerds concentrate on dead Dino bones and fossils like that and that the archaeology geeks worry more about ancient human remains and their associated artifacts, so, how am I doing so far, hmm, Tuli?"
"Well, there's a little more to it than that, Twiddle Dee, but that's pretty close for now because..."
"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm and since a mummy is an ancient human remain, have you ever dug up a mummy before while tomb raiding, Tuli, hmm? I mean, I would image that a buxom busty mummy would have been a big hit at the ancient rave house parties, way, way, way back in the ancient day, so?"
"Oh, I mean, tomb raiding mummy finds are usually assigned to a more esteemed and prestigious archaeology teams of tomb raiders, but that would be a pretty cool challenge and a pretty big deal for us because..."
"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm and will you be gracing all of us at the bonfire dance celebration party tonight as a ripped bedsheet strapped wrapped mummy lady, hmm?"
"OMFG, Twiddle Dee, a ripped bedsheet strap wrapped busty buxom mummy lady? At a celebration bonfire dance party? Haven't you even noticed the size of my towering pyramids [inhales to further inflate her great pyramids chest], hmm? I mean, I can see it now that just as soon as some nerd paleontology student unravel spins me around enough to release just one of my boobs, I mean, where would it end, hmm? I mean, I can envision it already because it would be all 'grab, spin, unravel, pop, pop, spin, spin, here comes the bare belly, spin, unravel, unravel, here comes the exposed wide hips, spin, unravel, ahh, argh, ahh' and then I'm basically a naked busty mummy lady, standing on the beach of the bonfire with a cocktail in my hand and revealing to everyone's eyes how I wear such teeny tiny undies, hmm? Can't you see that, Twiddle Dee, hmm?"
"[Tap, tap, tap] well, that's what all of the paleontology nerds want to see and I overheard them all whispering this morning during the continental breakfast in the resort's Community Hut and they're all dreaming up ways to ask their resort girlfriends for a free pass to unravel you because..."
"What? All of the paleontology nerds already have resort girlfriends? I mean, they have only been here for a few days and all of my Archaeologist geeks have needs to because..."
"[Tap, tap, tap] would you like fireplace place cabin 16, Tuli, hmm?"
"Well, I suppose that sounds perfect for the secret slut side of me, especially since this dead Dino dig is also a resort weekend and, and, and, a quick bronzing glow up in the resort's tanning bed might be appreciated, Twiddle Dee, so?"
"[Tap, tap, tap] um and just how would male staffer Howie close the lid of the tanning bed with the way your towering pyramids juke and point towards the sky, hmm?"
[A cool cat casually strolls into the resort's lobby from the Rec & Gym area]
"Hey, TD, do we have any tanning bed reservations for quick bronzing glow ups, huh? If not, I might jump into the stand-up tanning booth and freshen up my own glow before the celebration bonfire dance party tonight and, oh, well then, hello ma'am, is there anything that I can help you with today? Like a quick tandem stand-up tan because no offense, but you're not going to fit under the bed lid, so?"
"[Gulp] um, male staffer, Handsome, I mean, Howie, um, no offense taken and um, does the price of a tandem tanning session in the stand-up tanning booth include helping me decide if I should be mummy wrapped tonight at the bonfire dance party from right to left or should my mummy wrappings go from left to right [closes the body gap], so?"
"Left to right, ma'am and we can prove that because I'm right-handed and since I'll be working it from behind, I mean, standing behind you in the stand-up tanning booth, I mean, my right arm will naturally reach across your great Giza pyramids and start the unraveling with your left pyramid, so?"
"[Almost faints] Twiddle Dee, hold my calls and don't put this on the lobby's announcement letter board, mm-hmm!"
"[Tap, tap, tap] next!"
"[Walkie Talkie click, click] Walkie Talkie Twiddle Dee, this is Walkie Talkie Professor Muffins, has my arch rival, Archaeologist Post Grad Instructor Tuli, arrived yet because we're swamped with piles and mounds of un-sifted dirt down here at the dead Dino dig site, over?"
"[Walkie Talkie click, click] Walkie Talkie Professor Muffins, this is Walkie Talkie Twiddle Dee and Tuli the Tulip has arrived, but she's lost in thought about if she should be mummy wrapped from left to right for tonight for the bonfire or if she should be mummy wrapped from right to left and we all know that a decision like that is best made in the tanning booth, over?"
"[Walkie Talkie click, click] Walkie Talkie Twiddle Dee, this is Walkie Talkie Professor Muffins, OMFG! But that's a theme that's open to everyone, right? Anyways, wiggle her phat booty and her pyramid boobs into a golf cart and send her my way as quick as possible! And, and, and, send rubbers, I mean, send rubber boots and rubber gloves, over."
"[Tap, tap, tap] next! Oh, wait (giggles), I had a Mrs. Bentley moment and jumped the gun. [Squeak, squawk] attention, Linnie, Linen Linnie, if your Linen closet isn't fully stock with extra bed sheets, grab a golf cart and slip into town and buy extra bed sheets for mummy wrappings and a good pair of scissors [squeak, squawk], over?"
"[Squeak, squawk] Linen Linnie here, Twiddle Dee and I'm on it. Also, if the dance party has a mummy theme tonight, does that include us staffer girls too, over?"
