I nervously headed into the restaurant, the last member of the party to join the group. I knew Sue and Dave, but Dave had arranged for a friend of his to make up the foursome with us. All I knew was that his name was Sean and he was older. I’ve always preferred older men, but was wondering if Dave’s definition of Older was like mine.
I also realize blind dates as a rule, are disastrous. In fact, the last time I did that, I swore never again. But, you know, it’s Saturday night and I’m not doing much more than living the life of a hermit lately. And there’s always that flicker of Hope that maybe this time will be different.
I spotted Sue right away as I approached the table. Dave and a really nice looking older man stood while Sue made the introductions. The man named Sean held my chair while I was seated. One of the neat things about being with older men is they remember their manners.
Ok, I remember my manners, too, usually, but there was just something about Sean that I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. We had several good conversations, but though I knew Dave and Sue and reminded myself I should look at them when speaking; for some reason, I just wanted to look at Sean. Then I became self-conscious that I was staring, so I’d just look down and hope he couldn’t see my face was hot and embarrassed.
I am not a schoolgirl with a crush on her teacher, I kept reminding myself, but I’m acting like I’m a love smitten adolescent. The waitress brought another round of drinks. Yes, when in doubt you’re not being socially acceptable, have another drink. That always helps. Here I just met this guy and I’m already talking to myself. This is not good.
Before I knew it, everyone was getting up, and saying their good-byes. Outwardly I stood, and said Good-bye and was walking out the door with the others. Inside, though, I was protesting, the evening can’t be over!!! I just met Sean; I can’t bear to go back to my small apartment alone!
The next thing I knew, Sue and Dave were driving away, and Sean, bless his heart, looked at me with something in his eyes I didn’t recognize. “You look rather reluctant to say good-bye.”
“Is it that obvious? I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.”
“Yes, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a grown woman blush so often.”
“Well, I may look like a grown woman, but inside I….uh…Oh, shit.” I looked down at my hands helplessly not knowing what to say. He stepped a little closer, took my hand and said, “Would you like to walk for awhile?” “Uh, yes, that would be nice.”
Thankfully he started out carrying the conversation, and I really can speak intelligently with just about anybody. When I’m not smitten with unspoken infatuation or lust or whatever this was I was feeling. We walked, and I guess I didn’t realize he was turning just where I was, until we stopped in front of my apartment building. I said, “This is where I live.”
He looked down and smiled and said, “You don’t say!!” Well, I felt a bit foolish. But, you know I had to try the line I’ve heard in all the movies. “Would you like to come in for a drink or coffee or something?” “Yes, I’d like that.”
Well, once I got him up to my apartment, I wasn’t really quite sure what to do with him. I mean, I’ve been with men before, of course, though not many and it had been some time. Still, there was a presence about Sean that unsettled me. Not in a creepy or bad way, just in an …unsettling way. Like he could read my mind. Or look into my eyes and see my soul. Not good, Karen, be careful I told myself. Then as part of me was still wondering about all this, thankfully the courteous part took over.
“Would you like a drink? Or coffee?” I asked.
“What will you be having?” He looked all too masculine and large in my small apartment.
“Personally, I’d rather have a cup of coffee, but you can have whatever you like.” I stopped in sort of a panic, realizing that could be taken in a couple of different ways.
“Coffee’s fine.” He sat on my sofa while I quickly made coffee.
“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” I admitted, and thinking it looked rude to sit Too far apart from him, I sat on the opposite end of the same couch.
“Perhaps I could just help you relax a bit. You know, break the ice, so to speak.” And suddenly he was right by me, holding me in his arms and we were engaged in the most luscious kiss. Oh. I’m not that nervous anymore. Well, maybe, but soon getting over it.
Finally we broke for a breath, and then resumed kissing. “A man who knows how to kiss has always been my weakness,” I said sounding stupid in my own ears. In the back of my mind, I’m aware that he’s using the oldest trick in the men’s dating guide; appearing to caress me with his arm around my back, all the while unfastening my bra under my blouse. Only I had no intention of protesting or trying to get him to stop.
