Room 1203: the Becoming

Author's Note

Dear readers,

This is a slow-burn, emotionally layered erotic story with strong literary leanings. If you're looking for quick-release material, this may not be your cup of tea. But if you're drawn to stories about intimacy, healing, and transformation, I hope you'll find something meaningful here.

Room 1203 may particularly resonate with women struggling with body image, or anyone who seeks sexual connection as a form of self-discovery or spiritual experience.

I welcome all feedback, especially constructive criticism. Whether you loved it or hated it, I would deeply appreciate knowing why. Thank you for reading.

Table of Contents

Part 1: The Proposition

Part 2: Room 1203

Part 3: Goddess

Part 4: Union

Part 5: Bliss

Part 6: The Becoming

Epilogue

Part 1: The Proposition

Daniel loved being in Austin, but he wasn't particularly loving it as he made his way from the Archer Hotel's elevator to its bar. The hotel was far enough from 6th Street, but he still heard the music from those bars floating up like ghost notes, bringing back memories of the time that he himself had indulged in the all-night drunken revelry that accompanied the music. Right now though, he just wanted a drink. And silence - the kind he sought within himself, the one he tried to come home to whenever the world threw him a curveball. He plopped down on a barstool, ordered a bourbon, and sat there sipping slowly, feeling the warm burn of the alcohol as it trickled down from his throat to his chest to his stomach.

"Rough day?" asked a quiet voice on the barstool next to him.

Daniel swung his barstool around to face her. She wasn't the kind of woman who demanded instant attention, but something about her struck Daniel - the way a song stirs something that you forgot. Her dark brown eyes matched her hair. Her dress - navy, silky, hugging the soft roundness of her hips and breasts, yet loose enough to be stylishly casual - added to her allure. Her dark blue fingernails matched the dress and her wedding ring caught the light from the chandeliers above.

"Yes. I'm here for a convention that started off rather well, then got worse and went completely into the toilet today." He smiled.

She laughed. Daniel thought her laugh blended in perfectly with the melodic tinkle of glasses at the bar. She smoothed her dress as she said, "That bad, huh? I guess you deserve a drink for that."

"Yup... that's why I'm here. Cheers," Daniel said, raising his glass toward her.

She looked at him as she clinked her glass lightly against his, her brown eyes reflecting something he couldn't read - Sadness? Loneliness? Fatigue? Weariness with the world? Fragility? Nothing really seemed to fit exactly. She smoothed her dress again as she said, "Cheers. To making it through the day."

Her comment actually made him feel cheerful. "You're right. We're still alive, so what's to complain about? Although I guess we're actively working against that by downing alcohol. Maybe I'll order a Sprite next." He laughed.

She laughed with him. "Well, I'm glad I could help you with your Alcoholics Anonymous membership."

Conversation was easy after that. They mostly talked about nothing - the weather, what she was in town for, bad conference food, the Austin music scene. He noticed her as she sat, almost as if she didn't trust herself in the dress, the most frequent of her many little tics being her running her left hand diagonally down her chest - not smoothing her dress, but feeling something below it. Trying to erase it, or trying to make sure it was still there? He couldn't really tell. As they ordered a second round of drinks - Daniel actually getting a Sprite - he said, "Your dress is very pretty, you know... and you look beautiful in it. But I noticed that you keep touching it as if... I don't know what."

She looked at him, sadness in her eyes. "Maybe I used to feel beautiful, I don't know when." She held her drink in both hands and twirled the glass around. "But then... stuff happened... and I just... don't anymore. Let's say looking in the mirror isn't my favourite activity. I'm just practical, I guess."

Daniel looked at her pensively, not sure how to react. Then he realized that they still hadn't exchanged names, and tried to change the topic. "Hmm... by the way, I realized we haven't exchanged names yet. Not that they're necessary anyway, but let's play a little game. How about we try to guess each other's names?"

She smiled. "Okay, that's a nice distraction I guess. You go first."

Daniel pretended to think hard. "I think you look like a... Stephanie." He smiled. "Correct?"

She laughed. "Not even close. And I think you are... Derek. How close did I get?"

He laughed with her. "I guess you got closer than I did, so you win." He reached out his hand. "Okay, I'm Derek." And that's who he would be - for tonight, at least.

She shook his hand, still laughing. "And I'm Stephanie. Do I get a prize for winning?"

"Hmm, unfortunately I hadn't thought that far ahead. Well, go ahead and make up something." He shrugged, smiling. "I dunno... maybe you get to kiss my hand? Or maybe I need to bow down and kiss your feet? Whatever strikes your fancy... I'm up for it."

She looked straight at him and held the gaze long enough to make him slightly uncomfortable. "Okay, I'll think up something good... I just need a little time to think about it." She turned away from him and sat facing the bar, staring straight ahead and holding her drink with both hands. She didn't say anything for a minute, so Derek swiveled towards the bar too and sipped his drink in silence.

A few long minutes later, just as he cast a glance to find her sitting exactly as she was before, she said, to nobody in particular, "There's a nice view of the river from Room 1203."

Derek stared at her, slightly stunned. He had just been propositioned for a one-night stand by a married woman in a random hotel bar. Before he could think, he blurted out, "Is that an invitation?"

She kept staring straight ahead. "I don't know... and why do you assume that's my room number?" Her voice cracked, and she briefly hung her head. A tear appeared in the corner of her eye.

He moved his barstool close to hers and gently took one of her hands in his. "Hey... Stephanie... are you Ok??"

The tear rolled down her cheek, then another. But she didn't speak. Derek held her hand a little longer and tried again. "Stephanie, look at me... please... talk to me. What's going on?"

She finally swivelled to face him - her eyes still wet, but hard. "Well, you were right, it was an invitation. Are you going to accept? Yes or no?"

He smiled softly, but uncertainly. "I have to say... that is one of the strangest invitations I have ever received. Will you tell me a little more... please? I'd really like to understand, if you want to tell me."

"What do you want to know? And why? You're getting a free fuck as far as I can tell." Her voice was now bitter.

He kept holding her hand and nodded at it - at her wedding ring. Still smiling, still looking at her, gently. "Nothing's free, Stephanie... You're married. But you're offering a night to a stranger. Bad marriage?"

She didn't pull away, but turned from him again, her voice quieter. "No, I can't really say that. He's a nice guy. Generally good to me. We have sex once in a while and it's okay when we do. But I guess he just doesn't know how to fill this... this giant... void inside of me."

Daniel leaned closer, speaking softly. "Oh I see... and this void... it started after... you know, that stuff you mentioned?"

"I don't know, perhaps it was always there... but yeah, definitely after that stuff." She swigged the last of her drink.

He studied her face closely. "You're beautiful, Stephanie. You must know that."

Her laugh was soft, but derisive, unbelieving. "Am I? Well, thanks for being polite at least." She turned to face him fully again. "Anyway, you wanna come up or not?"

Derek looked at her, his mind working in overdrive. "I need some time to think about it too, Stephanie... this is so... unexpected. I'll tell you what - looks like you're done with your drink, so go up to your room and wait twenty minutes. If I show up - or if I don't - either way, you'll know my answer. And if I do show up, you still retain the option to withdraw your invitation. I'll leave if you do - no harm, no foul. How's that sound?"

She nodded and got up from her seat. She held his hand for a moment, her gaze meeting his. She then let go and walked away towards the elevators, not looking back.

Derek sat at the bar with his drink, a thousand thoughts flashing through his head. He had just come here for a drink and some silence. Now he had the opportunity to have no strings attached sex with a married woman. He had not had a relationship, nor any sex, since his divorce three years ago. He was not lonely - his inner silence bolstered his aloneness, his own company generally pleasant once he made friends with his demons. Desire rose in him often enough, and mostly passed by without incident, but this was a different kettle of fish altogether. He didn't want to be responsible for throwing a wrench into Stephanie's marriage, but there was also something about her that strongly attracted him. It wasn't lust, so perhaps it was her vulnerability? No, not that either...

He chased the thoughts out of his head. He needed to decide. He finished his drink and walked to the nearby pharmacy - more to clear his head, hoping to let the answer just come to him, than to buy what he was going to buy. He was aware of the rhythmic movement of his feet and the feeling of the humid night air as he went in and purchased some condoms. He thought about buying a bottle of wine too, but decided against it - more alcohol wasn't going to help anything. As he walked back to the hotel, he still didn't have a definitive answer about Stephanie, but he knew where he was going.

Part 2: Room 1203

He went up the elevator and knocked on Room 1203. She opened the door, a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. She was still dressed in the same outfit from the bar, except that she had removed her shoes. Derek noticed her toenails painted the same shade of dark blue as her fingernails. And she had taken off her wedding ring as well.

"Hi."

"Hello. Come in."

"So I guess your invitation stands..."

"Yes."

"And are you Ok?"

"I'm just a little - nervous - I guess."

"I understand. We can take it slow. Or I can leave - if that feels safer."

"No, I would like you to stay. I want to... be held tonight."

"Okay. Come, why don't we cuddle on the couch for a bit? Hopefully that - and a drink, if you want - will help you relax."

She declined the drink but leaned her head on his shoulder as they sat on the couch. Derek held her close until Stephanie broke the long silence. She spoke softly, hesitatingly, every word requiring an effort. He felt her trembling. "So... about that stuff I mentioned at the bar... it's really bad. I mean... my body isn't... what you might imagine it to be. I can't even... bear to look at myself naked."

"Oh, I see... so you don't think you're beautiful enough. Well, I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I think you are a beautiful woman, Stephanie."

She smiled wanly. "I'm not sure how long you'll keep thinking that."

Derek held her a little tighter. "Hmm. I'm sorry something about your body is causing you so much pain, Stephanie. But perhaps you can let me decide for myself what I think of it? Stand up and let me help you out of that dress."

Her eyes widened, and she hesitated a little before she stood up. She turned around so she was facing away from him. He slid the straps off her shoulders, the dress dropping away in a rustle of cloth, revealing her dark-colored underwear beneath. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself.

Derek gently touched her bare shoulders. She exhaled loudly, shivering as if electricity had run through her. He reached out, wrapped his arms around hers and gently kissed her neck. He stepped back for a few seconds, taking in her shapely legs and the sensual curves of her back. Then he embraced her again and cooed in her ear, "Stephanie, you look marvellous. Truly, I mean it." She let him nuzzle her neck, then said, "Thank you, Derek. Keep doing this a little longer before you unwrap the rest of me."

He obliged, and when she seemed ready, he unhooked her bra and gently unclasped her arms, sliding the straps off and letting the bra fall in front of her. She reclasped her arms tightly in front of her as he inserted his thumbs down the sides of her panties and slid them down her legs. She stepped out of them gracefully, but stayed facing away, arms folded tight.

He caressed the entire back of her body, gently massaging her shoulders, tracing the exact shape of her spine, kissing her back, lovingly fondling her ass, massaging her legs. She shuddered with pleasure at his touch. "You're so beautiful, Steph. Will you only show me half of you?"

"No, but get undressed for me first. I want to see you before I show you the rest."

"Okay," said Derek, and stripped.

Stephanie turned around. He stood rooted to the spot when he saw her front. She had a long, wide brown scar running down from her left shoulder to the right side of her abdomen and a purple one running horizontally all the way across her body just above her pubic mound. A thick, hairy bush covered the middle half of it. He exhaled. He understood everything now. Her little tics, her hesitation in undressing, her fear - perhaps even terror - of showing her front to anyone, including herself.

She heard him exhale and immediately turned away, tears in her eyes. "I knew you wouldn't like what you saw. Nobody does, not even me...," she sobbed.

Part 3: Goddess

Derek immediately stepped forward and embraced her. "Oh Steph, no... no... I was just a little surprised, that's all. I understand - completely - why you want to hide. But I don't want you to." He kissed her neck again. "Really, I mean it. Turn around again please... let me look at you properly this time."

She turned around, hesitantly, a few tears still rolling down her cheeks. But she closed her eyes, waiting for the axe to fall again, expecting a polite comment of likability from him. She tried to cover herself with her arms once more, but thought the better of it and stiffly put them back at her sides.

Derek looked at her carefully from head to toe this time. His intent gaze triggered in his mind an image of great beauty, so he said, "Stephanie... you look like a goddess. Move your feet a little wider and raise your hands a little to your sides - it'll be a perfect pose to express that beauty."

Her eyes snapped open, her jaw dropping in surprise. "What...??"

"I'm serious, Stephanie. I swear." Her expression was still disbelieving, but she did as he asked.

"And now I'm going to worship you like one," he said, kneeling down. He touched both her feet, caressing each toe, noticing the glitter of her dark blue nail paint. He moved up to her ankles, calves and thighs, gently massaging her smooth legs. He buried his nose in her pubic hair and kissed every part of the area tenderly. A whiff of musk from her vagina caught his nose and he looked up at her adoringly with a big smile. "And you smell as heavenly as you look."

"You're crazy..." she whispered, meeting his gaze. But she was clearly appreciating his attention now. The smile on her face almost reached her eyes.

He traced the horizontal scar with the fingers of both his hands. "What's this from?"

"Hysterectomy." Her smile faded.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay. Really. I'm glad you did... it's a major turnoff for most people, so I was just a little surprised, that's all." Her smile was back.

"Do you like to keep your bush this way? Or do you keep it like this to hide the scar - at least as much as you can?"

"Mostly to hide... although I sometimes like it too - it has a few advantages."

"Either way, I love it." He moved up to her belly button, gently rimmed it with a finger and kissed it several times. His hands ran up the sides of her waist, feeling every curve of flesh. Her breasts got a lot of love - he cupped them gently, massaged their sides and undersides and traced both her nipples, touching them as gently as he could.

He traced the long diagonal scar with his left index finger. "And this one?" He looked up at her again.

He saw pain flash on her face. "Car accident." She started to tremble again and closed her eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry. It must have been a really bad one - painful and traumatic. But I'm glad you survived, so that I can be with you like this, Steph." He smiled again, wrapped his arms around her hips and rested his head on her belly for a few moments. She kept her eyes closed.

He finally massaged her shoulders and arms and stood up. He reached behind her and pulled her lips to his, kissing sensually. She opened her eyes and responded in kind, tears starting to roll down her cheeks again. He broke off the kiss after a minute, and said with a smile, "How did I get so lucky, my beautiful, beautiful goddess??"

"Fuck me, Derek. Fuck me now. Fuck me all night. I want you inside me."

He smiled and kissed her again. "Certainly... but I'm not done with you just yet. Now, I want you to look at yourself like I looked at you."

Her eyes widened, and fear flashed across her face. "Derek... No... please don't make me..."

"Trust me, Steph... please." He took her hand and led her to the bathroom mirror, making her climb a step stool he spotted there. He moved behind her, gently supporting her legs in her power pose, such that she could only see her reflection, not his.

"I can't... not like this..."

"Shhh... just look first. Every part. Carefully. Touch yourself if you feel like. Then you can talk."

She did almost exactly as he had done, except that she started from her shoulders and stopped at her upper thighs. "Wow, I've never... looked at myself like this..."

"Exactly. Do what you just did a couple more times and listen carefully - to your body, not to the voices in your head - and then tell me if it doesn't change your mind about you."

She repeated the self-gaze twice more and said softly. "Maybe you are right, Derek."

"Hmm... then let me say this - to hell with what I think. In fact, forget I'm even here. Who am I or anyone else to even judge your beauty? Just love yourself like you deserve. And you deserve it - every bit, every moment."

She kept looking in the mirror a little longer, then said, "I think I see... me." She turned around to face him, her eyes moist. "Thank you, Derek. You are right. I am beautiful." She almost fell into his arms, and he held her close.

"Excellent... now one last thing before I start loving you again. Let's put this conviction of yours to the test, shall we?"

She looked up at him, puzzled. "Err, Ookkk... what's the test?"

He smiled. "You said you have a great view of the Colorado River from your room, right? So show yourself to the river, and declare your beauty to this entire world."

She jumped back from his embrace, horrified. But their gazes locked. And the longer they remained locked, the more she understood. A faint smile appeared on her face. "So you also want to make an exhibitionist out of me tonight?"

He leaned in and caressed her face with both hands, smiling. "No. There's probably nobody on the river this late at night, and even if someone did happen to see, having them see isn't the point. The point is for you to be free. To be just you - completely, unashamedly. Truly free."