My Fwb Dom Experience Preface

The following is a preface/excerpt from a longer story I am putting on paper of some of my experiences I had with my former boss/supervisor (18 years older than me then). Someone on another site encouraged me to write it out and was very freeing in my mind. Mostly a secret I haven't really shared a lot of until now. I will add chapters over the next week or so, starting with an intro of how it led up to this, then some of the better experiences with him. Hope you enjoy :)

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You had a busy schedule, plus a few days that you were with your son, so it was about 4 days in my memory before I was going to meet you. My heart during those days raced faster, some out of excitement, much out of nervousness.

Was I doing the right thing? Would I regret this?

I couldn't sleep well, but I wanted to at least try it once to see if it was for me or not. You didn't really say what was going to happen, and I can't remember even asking you. Maybe I wanted it to be a surprise. But I knew something was going to happen. I couldn't help but to have thoughts of you touching and fucking me as I pleasured myself in the days leading up to finally meeting you.

I knew we would likely see each other naked for the first time. I knew I was going to be pleasured. I wasn't sure what you wanted me to do with you to reciprocate. You mostly only talked about what you wanted do with me and to pleasure me. I could tell your focus wanted to be on me.

Knowing that I was protected you texted on one occasion, "Will it be ok if I finished inside you?"

"Yes, that's ok," I replied back as I thought to myself how sex and feeling you inside me would be different since you were 18 years older than me and more experienced. I felt like I needed to protect my body, but on the other hand I wanted my body the chance to experience what you talked about.

I had read most of the first book of Shades of Grey, and had imagined myself as Anastasia even before meeting you. Here I was with the opportunity to actually be her in a way. I know her and Mr Grey's story is a lot different than mine and yours, but some of the elements of bondage and submission are there that I wanted to experience. So many times I thought about backing out, but I wanted my body to experience this.

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It was 7pm when you said to come over. I was so nervous getting ready for this day. It was a day I had off, and I thought about it all day. I knew you were going to see me naked. I wasn't sure what you were going to think. I didn't feel worthy that you were giving me this invitation, but I made sure I was ready for you.

I showered and I made sure I did a good job shaving and smelling nice because you said you really preferred it bare. I spent extra time on my hair, and I put on one of my tighter pair of jeans to show off my legs for which you always complimented me. At work you were used to seeing me in dresses and skirts, and I wanted to feel a little more casual with the soft off-white sweater I chose.

I drove to your place with so many butterflies... the unknown. Were you going to be the same person that I had known the past few years?

I pulled into your driveway and walked up to your door. I saw the doorbell. I remember staring at that doorbell for what seemed like was eternity. Like I was on pause, feeling my heart beating, mixed emotions. I knew pressing that doorbell would start the whole event and I couldn't run away from it.

I know you said I could leave at any time, that it wouldn't change how you felt about me or anything with my job. But I didn't want to let you down either. I pressed the doorbell.

I heard your footsteps coming, holding my breath but not sure why. You opened the door and there was that smile.

"How's it going, Bethany?" you asked seemingly calmly.

"I'm ok," I said with an obvious nervousness.

"Come on in," you said as I started to step into your doorway. "Just relax, it's all ok. No pressure, ok?"

Your smile and just being around you always calmed me.

I looked at your house for the first time and noticed how pretty it was inside. It was big and open with lots of windows at the front. Some of the lights were on as I followed you into the kitchen.

"Would you like some wine?" you asked.

"Yes, a little would be ok. No more than a glass, though."

I didn't want to get drunk or regret things like had happened in the past from having more than I should. A few not-so-great hookups from college were among my bigger regrets. I felt like I needed to stay in control to say stop if I needed to, but a little something to help me relax wasn't a bad idea either.

We start sipping our wine and talking, and you feel like the person I have known from months before. Easy to talk to, talking about what we did the past few days, and you don't bring up anything about sex. I start to feel more at ease.

You take me around your house showing me some things you have collected and the pieces of furniture you made. I am impressed that you could do all of that and also have a nice house and car. How is it that I'm the one that you wanted to be so personal with. We talk about a half hour or so, and after the walking around and sipping wine I was feeling the need to pee. Being nervous didn't help.

"Steven, I need to use your bathroom, I'll be right back."

"Sure, you know where it is," you say as you point to the guest bathroom somewhat off of the kitchen that I remember seeing earlier.

As I walk away, you ask, "If you think you can do it, I want you to come out naked."

Oh my god my heart jumped! I was totally not expecting that. I guess I knew it was going to eventually happen but now I wasn't sure if I was ready.

"Oh wow really? Ok, I'll try to," with an obviously nervous laugh.

I shut the door and sat down to relieve myself. I have so many thoughts swirling in my head. I stand up taking breaths and trying to breathe normally, but it only helps a little. I slide off my jeans and sweater, and as I remove my bra and panties, I have the thought that you probably won't see the nice lace set that I picked out for you. I start hearing you walking around the house wondering why you are going back and forth so much. Then I hear your footsteps come near my door.

"I pulled the blinds closed in case you were wondering what I was doing. How are you doing in there?"

"Oh, I'm ok I guess," I say with a tense giggle. It didn't even cross my mind about coming out naked into a room with open blinds, so I'm a little more assured that you thought of that for me. So many other things are on my mind that I felt like I couldn't think clearly about the simple obvious things. And I'm not sure if you are getting naked also.

I gave my kitty a quick freshening with some feminine wipes that I carry with me. I am obviously nervous, but I feel some tingles and wetness down there more than I was expecting at this stage as I give myself some attention to hygiene. I had been feeling some dampness during the drive over and also in your kitchen which prompted me to want to be a little fresher for you.

I remember you had a couple of hand towels hanging beside the sink, so I used one to dry off after the using the wipes. I think to myself, "Oh my god, I hope you don't have guests over and they have to use that towel!" After I dry myself off I place the towel on the sink thinking you will see it and not put it back up there. I fold my jeans and sweater and put them on the floor next to my shoes and purse.

I am so worried how I would look to you. Will I be what you expected or not? I am trying to feel sexy and excited, but I also feel like my nerves are taking over. I look at the door knob. It's like that doorbell again. Turning that door knob feels like the hardest decision I have ever had to make.

"I'm coming out," I say through the door, and I turn the knob.