My mind was buzzing as I tied the laces of my boots in the dark of the hallway at six in the morning. My husband was off on Sundays, and he and the kids usually slept late. I really did go hiking at that trail on Sunday mornings, so it wasn't out of my usual routine. But I had no clue what to expect, or how to be. I just took deep breaths, and kept pushing myself until I was in my truck and on the road.
His was already parked next to the fishing pier, and I pulled in beside him. He was sitting in the driver's seat, staring straight ahead at the lake, until he noticed me. I got out and walked around to meet him, my hands shaking.
"Do you want to walk or fish? I did bring my pole." I said, shoving my hands into my pockets to steady them. His eyes were wide and his face expressionless as he looked at me.
"Let's walk, I don't think I can sit still right now." he said, a clear tremble in his usually steady deep voice. I nodded and turned on my heel.
"I didn't know you fished." he finally said after a few minutes of tense silence.
"I grew up fishing with my dad, I haven't gotten to go nearly as much since the kids. But I do enjoy it." I said, glancing at him. He kept his eyes on the ground, his hands also in his pockets. We walked in silence on the trail for several minutes, and I was still working out what to say when he started.
"She hits me. Calls me names, and throws things. She comes home in a rage, and leaves in a huff. She spends all of our money, and expects me to do everything. It's been that way since our son was born. She's been threatening to leave me lately, and while I'm happy to see her go, I'm afraid of starting all over again. The house is mine, but she's left me with nothing." he rushed out.
"Oh Henry, I am so sorry. That's horrible. I had no idea." I was horrified, and could only stare at him open-mouthed.
"No one knows. But you, now." he went quiet for a moment. "So why don't you... What happened? With you and Jake? You don't have to answer, if you don't want to." he said quickly.
"Well... he was never great. He didn't plan dates, or whisk me off my feet. But when I was pregnant, I had to beg for his attention. He didn't want me anymore, and instead, he looked at other women. For other women." Henry made a cough of disgust, but motioned for me to continue. "I didn't find out about the cheating until after our second was born. By then it was too late for divorce, or I'd lose partial custody of the kids. And I couldn't stand that. So I settled, and lived with it. We have separate rooms, separate bank accounts, everything," It felt good to say it out loud. To stop pretending for just a few minutes.
"I'm sorry." he said after a few moments of silence. "He's an idiot. I've never liked him much, and now I want to go and punch him. You didn't deserve that." His face was red, and tensed with anger. I smiled softly.
"You're right, he's an ass. But I'm not perfect, either. We all have our faults."
"Yes. You are perfect." he stopped and gently took my arm. "I've lived next to you for years. You are the most kind and patient person I've ever met. You're beautiful, and sweet, and such an amazing mother to those two kids. I see a lot. You are incredible. Don't ever doubt that." He said firmly, and held my hand between both of his.
I was stunned. Both by his words, and by the electricity of the physical contact. "I- thank you, Henry. That's..." I was at a lost for words.
He slowly pulled me towards him, and I could feel his breath on my cheek, minty and smoky and warm. We were close now, closer than we'd ever been, my breasts barely brushing against his chest.
"In thirty-five years of marriage, I've never even touched another woman." he said, almost more to himself than to me. He grasped my other hand and brought them together. "I don't do this. This isn't... just kicks for me. I look at you, and I feel like I can't breathe. " he whispered.
He dipped his head towards me and inhaled deeply, as if trying to take me in, I did the same as his beard brushed my cheek. He smelled like leather and woodsmoke, and clean like soap. I breathed deeply, my head going dizzy with it. I could get drunk off of that smell.
"But this... Whatever this is. You can feel it, can't you? It just snapped into place the other day. I can't stop thinking about it. About you." he said against my forehead. "I've always admired you. Always thought you were beautiful, and so alive. But this...? I don't know what to do."
Without thinking, I tipped my head back to look at him, and our eyes locked. That electricity flowed through us, and our lips crashed together. I felt his hands on my hips, pulling me closer as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His body was hard and fit so well against mine, and I couldn't think at all when I felt his tongue brush against mine. I moaned softly, and I felt his hand grab my ass, hard. He broke the kiss and I was seeing stars.
When he pulled his mouth away from me, his eyes were wild. "I didn't come here expecting anything. I just wanted to talk about this, before it drove me insane."
