Love for Leona

'How's your brother?' Leona asked.

She was with Jules and the two women were doing some shopping in Puckle Street on a Saturday morning.

'Gareth's fine,' – defensively – but he's often a bit moody and distant,' Jules was examining some glassware in a gift shop window. 'He doesn't talk easily to me. 'Are you seeing him again?'

'I don't know. I go out with him and then I don't hear anything from him. I text him and get no reply.'

'He can be like that!' – confidingly – ' He's become a bit of a woman-hater after Claire died. She gave him a bit of a bad time, I believe. But he never says anything.'

The two women continued down Puckle Street, stopping occasionally to look at various shops.

'You feeling like a coffee?'

'Yes, but we can have one at my place,' Jules said, 'it's not far from here.'

They were waiting at the lights to cross Pascoe Vale road.'

'Gareth's away most weekends. He's got a small house at Queenscliff,' Jules went on to say. 'He often likes to disappear for days on end to escape from business worries. When he's in the city, he never lets up on his job, you know?'

'He works in computers?'

'Yes. At the moment he's got a lot of research to do.'

'What sort of research?' Leona was interested.

'He's writing a textbook on computers for secondary schools.'

They had arrived outside a semi-detached house. Various plants in hanging baskets were attached to the small veranda.

'Come on in,' Jules was ushering her into the long hallway. 'Gareth won't be home until tomorrow night,' she was saying. 'We've got time for a quick coffee. But I'm afraid I've got to meet Nathan in Sydney Road later this morning. There's a bus I'll have to catch.'

'I didn't realize you had to go out,' Leona said. 'Look, you go and see Nathan. I'll catch up with you tomorrow.'

Leona had followed the other woman down the passage to the kitchen, where Jules filled a kettle.

'No, it's all right,' Jules said. 'I'll ring Nathan and tell him I'll meet him in an hour. Does a man good to keep him waiting. Keeps him interested.'

'He seems very open and friendly,' Leona said.

'And so good-looking,' Jules laughed. 'I don't know how he ever came to fall for me.'

'I don't see how he could do otherwise,' returned Leona sipping at the steaming coffee Jules had placed before her. 'He's an uncomplicated man.'

'Not like my brother,' Jules smiled. 'I told you, you'd have to go slow with him.'

Leona knew that Gareth was experiencing conflicting emotions and mentioned this to Jules.

'He seems torn between a desire to like me and a desire to keep me at a distance,' she said to Jules. She hadn't been able to get Gareth out of her mind since the last time they had gone out together over a week ago.

'I'll have to get moving,' Jules said. 'I'll just freshen up and you can walk me to the bus stop. It's just round the corner.'

After Jules had caught the bus, Leona found herself walking along the edge of the lake in Queen's park before heading for home. The scent of the chrysanthemums and jasmine touched her senses.

Soon she came Mount Alexander Road and was about to make her way up to the station at Moonee Ponds, when a car drew up almost alongside her as she was about to cross the road.

'Had a pleasant walk?' a voice called from the car. She turned and saw Gareth. He's come home early, she thought.

'Yes, thank you.' She had paused a moment as he got out of the car and came towards her.

'What have you been doing with yourself today?'

She shrugged carelessly. 'Just - er - roaming about. I called to see your sister earlier. We did a bit of shopping.

'Would you like to ...?'

'How about a ...?'

They laughed because they had both started to talk at the same time. She nodded her head. 'Go ahead.'

'Would you like to come in for coffee?'

She laughed. 'I had one with Jules, not long ago. But a second cup wouldn't go amiss.'

'I'm glad I ran into you,' he said as she followed him into the house. He led her into the front room while he went through the house to the kitchen.

The lounge room had several bookshelves containing technical books and many novels. Someone was obviously a keen reader and Leona knew that it probably wasn't Jules.

Gareth returned with two cups of coffee and put them on the low table before her.

'You've been away for the week?'

'I go down to Queenscliff quite often to get away from it. I've got a small bungalow there. I do some of my work there.'

'You're able to work at home then?'

'Some of the time. I have to go into the office most mornings. But a lot of the work I can do from home. I'm also putting together a computer book for schools and I work best down there.'

'And you don't pick up your phone?'

He smiled. 'I'm afraid I can't at times. You left a couple of messages and I meant to get back to you. I'm sorry. I'll have to make it up to you somehow.'

'That's fine,' she said. 'I rang to ask if you'd like to go out some time?' – asking, not certain whether he would accept.

He hesitated before saying, 'That would be nice.'

The hesitation was not lost on Leona, and once again she had the impression that his feelings toward her were divided, that one part of him wanted to be with her while the other part fought against it.

"So, what are you doing next weekend?"

'Nothing special ... although I had thought of going down to Wilson's Promontory.' There seemed to be a very cautious tone in his voice, she thought. 'Want to join me?' was the invitation that came from Gareth.

'Sounds great,' she replied.

'Good, I'll call for you Sunday morning.

Gareth was as good as his word, arriving at Leona's apartment mid-morning the following Sunday. She had spent some time washing her hair was in the bathroom when he rang the bell.

His appreciative eyes took in the white cotton dress with the wide blue belt she had chosen to wear. 'You're all ready to go, I see.'

'Yes, of course,' she replied picking up a basket. 'I've made some sandwiches to take with us.' She had also packed a thermos flask.

'And I've put a couple of bottles of wine in an esky,'

'Sounds great!'

They made their way out to his car parked in the drive.

An hour later they were passing through the outer suburbs towards Leongatha and eventually reached an area of open country.

Soon they took the coast road enjoying the panoramic view of the sea below. The bright sunlight made indulations in the low range of hills inland on their left.

They drove leisurely through the National Park taking in the lighthouse and Mt Oberon before them, then turning towards the tiny secluded towns of Walkerville and Tidal River.

The car was descending all the while from a sort of plateau down to Waratah Bay where diamonds on the sea met their eyes.

They parked on one side of the road a little above the sea, then made their way down a path to the flat sandy beach.

Leona looked across to the far end of the bay towards the Promontory where a series of rocks rose from the narrow shore to the plateau above.

The sea itself was a sparkling sunlit blue with slight rolls of foam coming into the beach.

Leona unpacked the sandwiches while Gareth poured a gold-coloured Moselle into plastic cups.

It was very quiet and peaceful there as they sat together, hardly conversing and gazing at the sea. It was as though the world were dissolving into pure pleasure and even time seemed distant.

'You'd like more wine?' – offering the cup.

'Yes please,' she smiled.

'Wine makes me sleepy,' he mumbled, and she laughed.

His body was almost touching hers.

But his eyes did not seem to be focused on her; she could never tell what he was thinking. Was he studying her from half-closed eyelids she wondered.

Eventually Gareth removed his shirt and lay back on the sand, exposing his upper body to the sun. His naked torso was muscular and tanned, with dark male hair etching his chest and stomach.

She was filled with a longing to touch him, but an instinct warned her that he feared intimacy. She tried not to look at him, but her eyes lingered on his hands and she couldn't help wonder what it would feel like if he caressed her.

She moved away a fraction and faced the sea, taking in the slight wash of the waves on the shore. Her mind was becoming a little too carried away.

The next hour was spent in sunbathing. She stretched with lazy pleasure.

Gareth was breathing heavily and she wasn't sure whether he had fallen asleep.

Her mind drifted and she gave herself over to private thought. She was thinking how she'd always managed to screw up her love life, rushing into negative relationships, establishing a bad pattern, as her therapist had said.

She leaned back her head, and breathed in the cool air that surrounded her.

She needed to come first with someone. She was lonely, she reflected. She'd had a loveless kind of life.

Sensing movement next to her, she opened her eyes with a start. Perhaps she'd dozed, she thought. No doubt the wine.

Gareth spoke, breaking into her musings. 'You were miles away,' he commented. 'Where were you, Leona?'

'I guess I must have dozed off.' She sighed and straightened herself. 'I think it's time we were getting back,' – looking at her watch – 'we seem to have been here for hours.'

A breeze had come in from the sea.

'There's no hurry,' Gareth replied. 'But if you're bored with my company, we'll get moving.' His voice was crisp, and he looked as though he had been dealt a body-blow.

She felt her spirits sinking. He's very touchy, she thought, hypersensitive even.

'Of course I'm not bored,' – protesting – 'what makes you think that?' Her voice was harsh, her eyes fiery. 'You must have a low opinion of me if you think I'm bored so easily.'

A tense moment ensued, with his facial expression hard and thoughtful. Her eyes were fixed on his, hoping that his touch of ill-humour had gone.

But his manner remained cool. 'You've jumped to a wrong conclusion,' he said.

She stared blankly at him as she packed the tea things into her basket.

'My opinion of you,' he replied with studied deliberation, 'is exceedingly high.'

'I wish I understood you,' she said.

'You do?' he slanted her a glance as they made their way up to the car.

After they had arrived back in Moonee Ponds Gareth showed Leona through the house he shared with his sister to his study. It was well set-up with the latest electronic equipment including two computers, fax machine, printer and copier.

Later that evening, he prepared a quick meal for them both and his manner was cordial. He seemed to have forgotten his moodiness of the afternoon.

Over the next several weeks she went out with Gareth Hamilton several times. But he was always a bit distant with her. It was quite a change for her to go out with a man without him wanting to touch her all the time or try to get her into bed. At first she liked it then began to miss the attention.

But one night there was a change in his manner and he put his arm around her as they sat together on the couch in her sitting-room. Then she in return raise her hand and permitted her fingers to explore his face, then down his neck and over his shoulder. They rested there and tightened.

She kissed him and he responded by cradling her face between his hands.

'I knew all along you didn't dislike me,' – smiling – 'I think you might even become fond of me in time – kind of.'

'I'm very fond of you,' he said.

She nestled against him.

'Tell me,' – unexpectedly changing the subject – 'have you had many boyfriends?"

'Sort of,' – was the casual reply.

'Nothing serious, then?'

She shook her head. 'No, nothing serious.

'I don't know if it's too soon for you,' caressing his face, wanting to expose her own need to him. She kissed his lips and for her the world stood still.

He responded at first, then pushed her away.

'There's no need to rush things,' she said.

'I guess I'm not ready for anything. I'm sorry.'

They were each in their own private worlds for a long moment.

'I'm still trying to get over things.'

'I heard about your wife,' she said. 'I'm terribly sorry. Want to ... want to tell me about her?' – timidly.

'No!'

She sensed an emotional retreat and was anxious to stop it.

'I'm sorry. If you prefer not to talk about it.'

'I much prefer,' he answered curtly.

'That's okay,' – gently.