Joel & Mrs. Olsen 01
Well, as the fall season goes, shortly after the Labor Day holiday comes the Pumpkin Festival at the fair grounds and everybody attends that festival. It's always fun, it's pretty cute, the weather is always good, there are food tents everywhere, LOL, there beer tents everywhere and all those vendor tents that sell knick-knacks that nobody probably needs, yet everyone walks around with a bag or two in their hands. It's a social status thing, I'm sure.
"So, Mrs. Olsen, ah, you have obviously visited every vendor tent. Need some help carrying some of these bags to your car? Also, were you planning on having your own festival tomorrow because you got the goods to resell, right?"
"Shut it, Joel and don't tease me. I have a festival spending problem and I can't afford to get help! Anyways, it's kind of a contest between us old folks and I hate being at the bottom. Anyways, yeah, take about 17 of my bags and help me get them to my car. Also, do you do home construction on the side? I think I need a room addition on my cottage house."
"LOL, you're funny Mrs. Olsen. So, how's the divorce coming along?"
"OMG, what a mess, Joel. I can see that the only winner will be my divorce lawyer. Well, my secret bank account won't come out all that bad, but still, what a mess. I mean, what the hell, right? My lousy no-good cheating faggot soon to be ex-husband gets caught red handed screwing Pumpkins that he and that twinkle toe faggot Butch Jr. drilled holes into and I'm the one who has to be careful about being a side slam piece? I mean, who are the laws protecting? I mean, they were both caught on video using the modified Pumpkins as sex tools while drooling into each other's mouth and I can't sneak over to your house for one week of doggie sex bliss? I mean, that's WTF, right Joel?"
"Oh, wow, ah, I missed that video, I guess. They drilled little holes into the Pumpkins, you say? Like a hand-held glory hole or a flesh-light?"
"Well, that's because Annie Atkins posted the video and it's well known that you don't look back much through your rolodex of MILF slam pieces, so that doesn't surprise me, but I'll send you the link. Or just go on Chang Gay because they seem to have started a fad with Pumpkin sex. So, anyways, Joel????"
"Ah come on, Mrs. Olsen, I can't be responsible for any issues with your divorce proceedings, so hold tight honey, our time will come. Unless...."
"Unless? Unless what? Let's do some unless. I don't know much about unless, unless you tell me."
"Well, and I know this is out there a little, but what if you rode in the back of a SUV, you know, with tinted windows and that SUV parked inside of the safety of my garage and the garage door closes behind said spy SUV and then you safely enter my house through the breezeway? I mean, that's a fool proof plan, right?"
"Hmmm, interesting, it's just too bad that I drive a sedan and not an SUV with rear tinted windows. Oh well, I guess we'll have to wait a while before you officially make me your woman and make your bed our "relationship" bed."
"Or, and hear me out, if I'm not mistaken, ah, the other Mrs. Olsen drives such a SUV."
"What? My sister? My sister Olivia? Are you crazy? Just how in the hell am I supposed to ruin you with sex in front of my sister, Olivia? Are you on drugs these days? Besides, she would never go for that, not to mention that I can't compete with her amazing body, so forget. I'll wreck you nine ways from hell in a few weeks or months or whenever the lawyer stops draining my bank account."
"Your call, Mrs. Olsen, it's your call. Here is your car, so pop the trunk."
"Hey, wait a minute, mister! We've been having sex talk, so isn't this where you start calling me Opal as you poke your fingers around my front, which is right down there waiting for you to poke around?"
Sorry folks, LOL, I didn't make or write the MILF affair rules, did I? Well, maybe I did a little, but still, there have been rules in place and I have to follow them.
"Ah, geez Mrs. Olsen, that would be breaking the Joel vs Every Middleton MILF rules. I mean, I can't call you by your first name until I at least pop your trunk, if you know what I mean. I mean, sorry babe, but I didn't make the rules. And my finger dancing with your crease like this right now doesn't count, but ooh, la, la, my next "woman in waiting" gets wet quick!"
"Fuck! Damn be the torpedo's, damn be the rules, I'm sucking your cock right now, Joel!"
And you all noticed that it was all her doing, right? I was absolutely innocent!
"Fine Joel, I'll talk to my sister Olivia because there is no way in hell that I'm referring to this as our "relationship" parking lot, but no fair playing favorites in the "relationship" bed! LOL, or give me six months to start a new work out plan because Olivia's hips, am I right?"
And speaking of ooh, la, la, I mean, they are not twins, but they are both a true and valid Mrs. Olsen. I mean, please folks, am I right about all that? LOL, you're damn right I'm right! And by the way, the original Mrs. Olsen, Opal Olsen, wasted very little setting up our encounter.
"Alright, I'm here with my sister Opal and we're wearing matching lingerie as requested, even though my set is several sizes smaller than hers, so my turn, which way to our special "relationship" bed? I mean, as the special invited guest, I'm first, right?"
Oh yeah, bring on another a cat fight!
"Ah, Olivia, um, it might be best if I go first. Our missile man recovers quickly, but he blows even faster and I want you to get the most out of this. Also, SOB Olivia, you didn't mention that you were going to shave down there!"
Oh yeah, a sister MILF cat fight, although Olivia is just barely touching the MILF line, like just a little shy, but who am I to argue with a few months this way or a few months that way?
"Ladies, ladies, ladies, let's all relax. Anyways, it's common courtesy that guests go first and because Olivia already played the "special guest" card, well, Mrs. Opal Olsen, maybe you should just hang back and wait for the pizza to arrive? Cool?"
LOL, seriously? She bought that load?
"Wow, Olivia, why haven't we met before this? And feel free to claim my bed as our "relationship" at any point in this blog."
"Joel, my body and my sex life don't exactly align, so you might have to walk me through a few things, if that's alright. But just know that I'm submitting and committing to be your number one forever more."
"Oh, right now, you own the scale through at least number seven."
