Hey, it's me, Joel. I'm sorry that I have whisper and I apologize if this story is short, but I have to lay low once the sun goes down. Apparently, the spat I caused between mom Lydia and daughter Luci is still going and I'm afraid to show my face. LOL, or turn the lights on in my house.
Anyways, a few stories back, when I sleeping with and cheating on Mrs. Kant from kitty corner around the back of my house, well, somehow her very prude roomie, Mrs. Matthews figured something out and just had to perform her own personal investigation, totally unknown to my ex-MILF girlfriend, Mrs. Kant.
Now, normally that wouldn't bother me in the least because, well, me and the Middleton MILFs, right? However, Mrs. Matthews brought an entirely different angle into the mix and it was too much to ignore. LOL, and by that, LOL, it almost brought nightmares and weddings, honeymoons and uptight prudes. Just let me know if you feel the same way.
"Oh, you know me young man, you just don't know me yet."
"Huh? Are you from the Middleton Crazy Lady club?"
"Oh, I might be bat shit crazy, but you need to hear me out. I'm Millie Matthews, Mrs. Kant's roomie. You know, the old bag of prude bones who stays in the small back bedroom in the house kitty corner to your backyard! May I come in now, Joel, Tiger Joel, Supreme Stud Joel??????"
I swear, the printed patterns on her way too long of a dress spelled out prude and proud.
"Oh geez, ah, Mrs. Matthews, Kelly broke up with me or something. I'm innocent! Or something."
"Shut it, stud missile man. May we sit and chat?"
Oh, shoot me know, please just shoot me now.
"Listen, I'm not here to talk about why you and my roomie Kelly stopped fucking like rabbits and yes, the word fucking just came out of my mouth young man, so pull your eyes back in and close your jaw. Look, it's true that I am prude and proud, but you don't know my back story."
"Oh, please, loosen 32 of the buttons on your dress and enlighten of your back story."
"First of all, only I know where I buried the bodies, so watch your mouth. So here goes, way back in the day and we don't need to count the years, I committed to save myself for my wedding night. I went to my wedding as virgin, Joel! Even in my day, those days were long gone."
Lies, all lies. But Millie managed to get inside of my house, so let the lies continue, right?
"And that was a terrible decision because the man you fished hooked found his action elsewhere while you kept the forest floor clean and fresh?"
"Four bodies are buried, Joel, four bodies! However, yes, that's pretty much how it worked out. I mean, MEN, am I right? Anyways, the wedding was fine (boring as hell) and then there was a small after party because our honeymoon wasn't going to start for three days afterwards."
"And that's where your virginity went out the window from your fish hooked hubby? He finally got some of the good stuff? I mean, you had the "good stuff" back in your day, right Millie?"
"Of course, I had the "good stuff" Joel. I was a virgin. I was tight and I smelled good baby. But back to my sad story. There were some shots Joel and I wasn't a big drinker and yes, my virginity was lost, but not by newly crowned hubby."
"Oh, this is getting good now, Mrs. Matthews. Dish momma, dish it. Who did you do? And don't get cheap on the details Millie."
"I'm ashamed Joel, so ashamed, but I did my maid of honor's daddy, apparently. Wait, Joel, my maid of honor's daddy did me. Oh, shoot, I'm sorry Joel, it was a two-way street and we both went at it for about 17 seconds. But it was dark and all, Joel, it was dark and I was a little drunk. So, I'm innocent, right baby? I'm right about that, right Joel, I'm innocent, right? Joel, please tell me that I was innocent. I've been the burdened with guilt for so many years now."
"OMG, I'm so hard for your fat prude ass right now! However, on the point scale, it was your wedding night, there was a joyous after party, there were shots and cocktails and people were carrying on, so point award to Prude Millie. Mistakes happen and people can lose control. Scoot a little closer to me, Millie."
"Oh, thank you Joel, I'm feeling better now. I mean, it took two of us to tangle, but we were both basically fully dressed, so I'm good, right? I mean, he just pushed my white wedding panties to side when he shoved his fat and married cock up into me, but most of my clothes were on, right? I'm good and everything is OK, right?"
"Oh, slam the brakes on the "feel good" bus for a moment, it's not over yet, is it? I mean, later, right? When you laid down with the hubby later, I mean I never had the pleasure, but I think men know when they popped a cherry, am I right? By the way, you're beginning to sweat and the fully clothed excuse isn't holding much water. That's standard club sex stuff, so no points can be award. So, the beads of sweat?"
"Oh, yes, I'm a bit warm, so maybe I can undo half of the 64 buttons on this dress from circa 1732. Or maybe I'll take it off because I have an under slip on underneath, OK?"
"Please, take it off and use the time to gather your thoughts because I want the truth of the story and nothing but the truth, so??? Oh, oh, so that's what an under slip is? Cool. It looks, ah, silky. Anyways Millie, you were saying that a little later when your real hubby crawled between your thick creamy thighs on his way to the promise land, what happened next? And don't get cheap when you describe your creamy thick thighs. I peeked on you once in shower after I screwed the life out of your roomie, Kelly Kant. Also, you own one of my nuts, so good job."
"OMG, Joel, my thighs were so luscious back in my day, so creamy and so soft, OMG, Joel, I was a babe back then, I promise, I had it all. I had the curves, I had the legs, my pussy was fresh and I had the boys all trying to date me, but I didn't share it. Say it again Joel, say it again."
"Any man would have been crazy to not start licking you at the knee and continue licking his way all the way to your unshaven and hairy bush. So, when the hubby realized that you weren't bleeding virgin juice? Also, a little trimming wouldn't kill you."
