It was one of those days when things just didn't seem to feel right. I was in a fog. Work dragged on and it seemed that I had twice as many projects when I left for the day than when I had gotten there this morning. Oh screw it, I'd have to deal with it on Monday. I went home.
I clicked on the computer as I walked past to my bedroom....shedding clothes as I went. I just wanted to be comfy and forget the world even existed. I had the house to myself and the sad part was I didn't even want to make the most of it. I could have went out with the gang, but the idea just made my stomach turn. Every once in awhile you feel that too,don't you? That inexplicable feeling of needing solitude.
The hours slowly rolled by. It was late now. I stared over at the computer. I wanted to go over there and see if he was there..... but it was pointless. He'd be there and we'd talk about all of those things that made us laugh so hard and cry just as hard. How crazy it was to feel that connection with someone so fast? Perhaps it was worse because it's all that we would have.
He really had become my friend, perhaps one I could talk to no like no other. We talked for hours. Sometimes about important, deep things in our lives, sometimes about nothing at all really. We've shared fantasies, dreams, fears, wants, desires........ I sat at the computer and clicked on messenger. He wasn't there. I was going to turn it off but decided to just change my message.......taking a shower......all alone.
I knew if he showed up he'd make a comment and I just needed to laugh right now. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I was in there a long time.......just feeling the water run over me......massaging my skin, running down my body. I turned around and leaned my forehead against the wall......letting the water work on my neck.