Twenty-three and feeling young and free, Todd Spicer sped down the straight stretch of metalled country road in the double-cab pickup at 120 k/hr and skidded the vehicle to a stop under heavy braking at the intersection with the main highway.
"Fuck," he muttered, scratching an ear when noting there was no sign of his four clients.
A woman emerged from the school bus shelter opposite and called a cross the highway "Hi, are you Mr Spicer?"
"Yep and sorry I'm a little late."
She frowned and said two hours and twelve minutes was more than a little late.
"Agreed and I apologise again. My parent's pedigree Shorthorn bull they recently paid almost 10,000 bucks for, jumped the fence and disappeared up the road and on to the unformed extension track through bush. I had to saddle up and ride after him and found him munching grass in a clearing and he allowed me to hustle him back like a lamb."
"Isn't that a mixed metaphor?"
"Eh?"
"Forget it."
"With pleasure, um Mrs Chittock. Where are your older sister, husband and daughter?"
She said the others became scratchy and hungry and decided to opt out of the two-day nature adventure tour into the high country and would rendezvous with her later.
"Mrs Chittock, I'm sorry but..."
"Call me Debra. My brother-in-law is loaded and have given me their $400 each and so here's the $1600 as previously agreed."
Todd looked at the bundle of cash being offered to him and hitched up his jeans manfully and said almost reverently: "Alas, an unsurmountable problem remains. You're a nubile woman and therefore I can't go into the wilds with you alone."
Debra flared, "What is it with you, are you off the ark and are afraid of women?"
"I, err, um, well, ah..."
He sighed and said, "Oh, please hand me your backpack and suitcase and get into the front passenger seat."
As they drove off, she chuckled and asked was he a powder puff wimp because he'd been an easy push-over.
"No, anything but," he said indignantly. "It's just that my mother taught me to be kind to women."
"In that case, you'll have no objection sleeping outdoors with me and overlooking the fact that I'm married?"
Todd choked and at the same time fought to gain control of the vehicle because held inattentively driven into soft metal on the fringe of the road.
"God, who taught you to drive," Debra giggled at the sight of the driver's back straightening and his jaw tightening at that jibe.
They arrived at the stables chatting amicably.
"Choose your horse but the black is mine."
"These other three horses are nags. Get me real horse, sure-footed and loaded with stamina. It doesn't matter if it's bad-tempered. I began learning to ride when I was four and developed into a horsewoman in my early teens. I was raised on a large sheep farm and now my husband and 2-year old daughter live on a larger sheep and cattle station."
"Your daughter," he croaked.
"Yes, and if you now think you cannot allow me to mount a spirited horse, you've accepted my money and I'll consider suing you for breach of contract and seek monetary damages for having my high-country adventure ruined."
Todd ignored that posturing and handed her a pair of saddle-bags and said to fill one bag with her absolutely necessary personal possessions and the other bag would be needed for some of their provisions. A bedroll would be attached behind her saddle.
"Very good."
"Pardon me, why utter an almost compliment?"
"You appear to be probably organized, in theory at least."
He muttered bitch and she laughed and said she'd heard that,
Minutes later Todd told Debra to go over to the house and introduce herself to his parents and bring back provisions and a personal emergency locator beacon.
"Ooh, are you planning to get lost with me?"
He sighed,
"She teased, "Will you sit on your ass while I fetch the provisions?"
"No, I'm off to get a better class of nag for you."
Debra returned munching part of a hot buttered scone, another scone in a paper bag for Todd plus shopping bag filled with assorted provisions hitched around her shoulders and in her arms.
She dropped everything on to a pile of empty sacks gently and gasped, "Oh, my beautiful boy. She threw her arms around Todd and planted a wet kiss on his lips, albeit briefly, and raced over to hug around the neck the beautiful chestnut gelding she'd been eyeing around the neck.
Debra went to where her suitcase was in the back of the vehicle and pulled a knife in a plastic sheath from her pocket and tossed it beside the suitcase.
She saw Todd was watching and looking intrigued and said, "Your mother gave me that to defend myself in case you became horny. Apparently, she had no idea I want to be molested. Anyway, no guy would do me harm who'd presented me with a horse like this."
"He's dad's primary horse and his name is Prince and there'll be no funny business from him as soon as he determines you are the boss.
"Thanks darling."
"Debra, please remember you are married with a very young child."
Her only response was a warm smile.
Todd and Debra rode off and broke int lo an easy canter, His parents waved from the front veranda as the riders went by.
After they'd climbed fairly steeply terrain for twenty minutes, Todd and Debra dismount to spell the horses before beginning a long and fairly easy stretch of grassland.
"The sun in warmer at last," she cooed. "Do you mind if I take my top of to get some sun exposure?"
"No, of course not."
When Todd looked back he saw what he'd expected. Debra had removed her cap, jerkin, shirt and bra.
"Do you like them?" she asked, jiggling her boobs.
"Yeah, they're okay," he said without enthusiasm.
"Asshole," she muttered and they laughed after he muttered, "I heard that."
Although it was early summer in New Zealand, it was still cool in the highlands and Mt Ruapehu in the distance with some of its winter snow remaining. Debra was from the far south thought it was warm.
"Get your gear off and join me."
"No thanks," he said, pretending to shiver.
"Then stop staring at my tits."
He protested that he'd been looking at the stylish cut of her hair.
"Oh my, you're male and yet you noticed. I had it cut at a flash hairdresser's in Wellington at the start of our North Island tour and it cost me 400 bucks and was worth it as it's the best shaping I've ever had."
"Fuck, four hundred. You could have bought two perhaps three good young heading dogs in training for that price."
"Stop those negative comments Todd and does your mother allow you to use the f-word within hearing of a lady?"
"Oh, it must have slipped out. I apology profusely."
"Christ, Todd you dick. Relax and learn to take a tease," she said and he turned away as she squatted to urinate.
As they rode off she said, "Tell me what you thought about my boobs."
"You've done a great job growing them."
Debra groaned and suggested the ride in silence.
Todd clicked his tongue and his horse took off like a rocket.
She followed, gritting her teeth, and just as she decided she was gaining, Todd disappeared over a down slope and barely slowed his horse.
Debra hauled on her reins and descended in what she considered was a safe speed down the steep, stony slope on a horse she hadn't yet learned to trust although she was sure he was more than capable of going downhill like a rocket.
She muttered, "Asshole's mother at least taught him how to ride a horse well. That was a suburb exhibition of horsemanship although somewhat foolhardy.
She trotted Prince over to where the other horse and rider were waiting, motionless.
