All the Pretty Girls Are Married, All the Handsome Men Are Gay
*****
The club was already busy when they arrived. It was only a little after nine, but the music was loud and pumping. The dance floor was almost empty, but Katie was determined to find somewhere to sit before the place really filled up. "What are you drinking?" she said -- or rather, shouted -- to Emma.
"I don't know. Mojito?"
Katie squeezed into a gap by the bar. It seemed to take a while for the barman to notice her, which she found a little annoying. She was used to men noticing her, especially in her tight cream dress.
"Mojito, please. And a G&T."
"Which gin?" the barman asked, leaning across the bar towards her.
"Oh, any. Gordon's."
"No! Give the lady a Sipsmith's. And a Fever Tree. With lime."
She looked at the guy who had overruled her order. He was quite tall, slim, short-ish hair, nice features. He wore a tightly-fitting polo shirt, and looked fit.
Before she could say anything, the barman headed off to fulfil her order. She turned to her new companion. "Do you always order drinks for strange women?" she asked, more amused than annoyed.
"You don't look that strange to me. Actually you look rather nice. But if you're going to pay the prices they charge in here, you may as well have a really good G&T rather than a mediocre one." He was leaning quite close so he could be heard, and she could smell his cologne. "I'm a part-time barman. I know my drinks."
"It's cool; I trust you." Although the guy was good looking, he didn't seem to have the hungry leer she seemed to elicit from a lot of men she'd met.
"You should do. The Gordon's is only fifty pence cheaper and it's nothing like as complex as the Sipsmith's. Taste it and let me know if you agree it's better."
Her drinks arrived, and she tasted the G&T. "OK. I admit -- you're right." She paid, mouthed a 'thanks' to her new acquaintance and headed back through the melΓ©e.
"Who was that?" Emma asked. She'd seen a couple of creepy-looking blokes eyeing up her pretty, dark-haired friend, and felt rather uncomfortable. She wasn't sure whether tonight had been a good idea.
"Oh, just some bloke who seemed to think he was a drinks consultant. He was no trouble." She glanced around. "Have you seen a table yet?"
"I think there could be a bit of space at the back," Emma said. "Let's have a look." Katie was glad to follow her friend towards the rear of the club, away from the crush around the bar.
They found an alcove where the pounding music was a little quieter, but there were no tables free. Then a voice said "Looking for somewhere to sit? You could join us if you like."
Katie looked around and saw her 'drinks consultant' standing behind her. He indicated an alcove with four seats, currently occupied by a good-looking young man on his own. She turned to Emma, who saw her expression and said "Why not?" The two women headed for the offered table.
As they took their seats, Katie's new acquaintance set down his own drinks and slid in opposite them. He reached out a hand. "Hi. I'm Matt. This is my friend -- perhaps I should say partner -- Josh."
Katie shook the proffered hand. "Nice to meet you, and thanks. I'm Katie and this is Emma." After polite handshakes and smiles all round, she asked "So when you say 'partner,' do you mean business partner, or..."
"Not really. I suppose I mean 'life partner'."
"So you're..."
"Yes, darling, we're gay. Do you want to get up and leave now?" Josh asked.
"Of course not. It's just that I don't think I've met any gay men before."
"Do you know any gay women, then?" Josh asked with a smile.
"Well, no. See, we're both married, so I guess that makes us straight."
"Not necessarily," said Matt. "I know at least one bi- girl who's married and I've definitely met some married bi- men. But hey, just because we're not here on the pull doesn't mean that we can't be friends, does it?" He had a very winning smile. Katie somehow felt disappointed that the only good-looking men she'd met in weeks were both gay; but then, she
was
a married woman and shouldn't really think such thoughts.
"So where are your husbands?" Josh asked.
"Brazil," Emma said with a rather resigned sigh. "At the sodding World Cup. They don't seem to be able to think of anything but football. As soon as the tickets went on sale, they were there. It's costing a bloody fortune."
"What about you? Are they taking you ladies somewhere nice to make up for it?"
"Oh sure!" Emma continued with a cynical expression. "Mine's said he'll take me to Majorca next year, but this summer we're all going to a caravan near Bournemouth. Rio it isn't!"
"As you can tell, Em and me are not impressed. They'd better bring us back something nice from Rio."
"You'd better watch out they don't bring you back anything nasty from Rio," Matt replied. "I've heard the girls out there can be pretty persuasive and not as clean as you'd like."
"If Steve does anything like that, he'll find tender parts of his anatomy decorating the shed roof," Katie said with some feeling.
"And if Rob brings back anything nasty, he can kiss goodbye to the house -- and me." Both girls gave the impression that marital infidelity by their partners might be a very real possibility.
"I'm sure they wouldn't do anything like that," Matt said, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "Not with two lovely ladies such as yourselves waiting for them at home."
Emma and Katie exchanged glances. It seemed as though these two gay strangers had touched a nerve. Eager to change the subject, Katie turned to Matt.
"So you said you're a part-time barman. What do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I'm a freelance interior designer. It's great when I have a client, but a bit lean between contracts. I've only been working for myself for a little over a year, so business opportunities can be a bit hit and miss. I can have three on the go at the same time, and then months go by without anything, so I serve behind a bar in one of the swanky late-night clubs in Town. Just Fridays and Saturdays. That's how I can be here on a Thursday night. I started because it was good for talent spotting. Then I met Josh, and we've been together for over six months now, but it's still fun to meet people and flirt a little."
"And Josh, what do you do?"
"Nothing as romantic as Matt. I'm in IT. I do server and network configurations for a multi-national bank. And congratulations -- you just set the record for someone's eyes glazing over when I talk about my job." He grinned.
"No. Honestly, I mean, it must be a very important job. Only I don't understand a word of it!" Katie smiled back.
"Neither does Josh. It's all bluff," Matt grinned.
"So how did you two meet," Emma asked, trying to move the subject to something less complex.
"In a place very much like this. Matt was behind the bar. Our eyes met across a crowded room. The Earth moved."
"Actually, I saw him dancing. Josh is a great mover."
"And Matt mixes a great drink. And his flat looks like something out of a magazine -- and I don't mean Viz." They laughed.
"So why did you ladies come here tonight?" Matt asked. "Surely you're not on the pull? I mean, you look very nice, but you're both married, aren't you? And I'd put the gay to straight ratio in here tonight at about three to one, so you would have struggled to find anyone who suited your tastes -- unless you were taking a walk on the wild side and trying to sniff out some good-looking dykes." Matt seemed to be permanently smiling, with a slightly wicked twinkle in his eye.
"We both just fancied getting out of the house and going for a bit of a dance somewhere," Emma replied. "What's the point of having nice frocks and shoes if you never get a chance to wear them? This seemed to be the nearest place that looked half-decent and where girls get in free on a Thursday. Someone from work recommended it."
"So is your colleague gay?" Josh asked. "No, it's OK, I was only joking. Yes, there are a few straights here, but if you're looking for dance partners, your choice is a bit limited."
"We would have been happy to dance with each other," Katie said. "In fact, that's what we'll probably do when we've finished our drinks."