I have large breasts...I choose to think they are large because of sensuality, seductiveness, sexiness and a little extra which is expected at my age, although I've never really had any control over God's choices.
I'm especially sensitive tonight, bloated and excited, voluptuous and beaming, seductive and wanting to be seduced but disgusted at the subject because I am not comfortable in really wanting a man's touch but instead wanting his sensitivity, kindness and comfort. I am intensely seeking the company of a man – he is sought-after, needed, pleasing, attractive and wanting to cuddle with, be strong, and be my company. I will offer the soft touch of a woman to him when he needs it as I always do.
Sometimes, I hate being a woman. Once a month, I become someone I don't know. I become moody, which I'm normally not; thus, I become out-of-control a bit which I particularly hate. I am vulnerable which I hate more than any man knows; a time I usually chase him/them away as an Amazon women somewhat insensitive and dominating, which I am usually not.
I don't normally feel my breasts...it's a bit embarrassing to me, even alone with myself. But, I'm out of sync and wondering why I am having this burden on my shoulders, weighing me down, why my moods are imbalanced, why I can't concentrate on anything serious and giggling, to myself, at the irregularity I'm experiencing later in life, enhanced with maturity and knowledge, but, disillusioned at the imbalances with hormones exploding and exuding.
I have been drinking a little too much wine tonight to ease the uneasiness and anxiety that is in the air of my circle of life. I've always been very responsible but for some reason in the course of the last year, it's almost an emission and I almost enjoy just being silly, a dab irresponsible, unaccompanied tonight to be totally myself and my feelings. Although, I'm yearning for the companionship of a man, I am not without the knowing of the emotions that would be so appealing to me at this moment of a man being comforting, strong, wise and supportive.
But, at the moment I am alone to deal with these feelings myself; as we often do, as adults; and, earning a living, separate from our mates or significant others.
I massage the sides of my breasts. The caressing sets a mood of sensation and lust. It feels good, and I didn't realize I needed this pleasure and release of tension. I've had a busy week, fighting the hormones, fighting the moods, fighting the stress and anxiety. Can anyone out there in the masculine world understand what a woman needs at this time? Males and females collide for different reasons; perhaps, because of the chemistry of our bodies and minds being awkward to express to the opposite sex.
Maybe, there is not an answer. We do what we can for each other. If you, as a man, are just there with caressing and supportive moves, we will make it up to you later. Women are a race and gender to please and forget to be pleased at times. Many times, we are misunderstood or underestimated. I am writing to you because you are the best kind of man...one who TRIES to understand women as they try to understand and reward you. We tolerate each other's moods and tempers while we get to know each other day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, decades by decades, till death does us part OR we give up.
So, tonight, I want you to comfort me. I want you to try to understand my agony a bit that I am sharing with you so intimately with you and you only because I think I have a connection with you.
My breasts are tender and I am vulnerable. I squeeze them towards each other but it is the nipples that are the most sensitive.
