My hands start shaking as I leave the plane. I feel so sick. What is going on in my tummy cant be described as butterflies anymore. Something inside is telling me to go back, to turn around whilst I still can, but my heart is stronger. The usual paperwork seems to take hours and I feel worse by the minute. Finally I am ready to enter the airport hallway. Hundreds of people are running around. It is noisy and way to hot for what I am wearing. My eyes search the whole place for you. You are nowhere to be seen. I sigh and grab a seat somewhere along the windows. Doubts start creeping up in me. Was it right to come??? Will you come to pick me up??? Was this all a game???
I know that my thoughts are unreasoned, but I can’t help them. I am sat in a foreign country in a full airport and am totally insecure. I start pacing up and down along the window side. An older couple smiles up at me and the women starts talking with me. She tells me that they are flying to see their son in Canada and that he is such a lovely boy. I keep smiling and try to concentrate on what she is telling me. All of a sudden I see her eyes widen abit and then I feel a breath in my neck. I can smell you even before I turn around. I savor the well-known smell. Your arm comes around my front as you hug me from behind.
“I am sorry,“ you whisper in my ear, “I got held up”. The old woman smiles at me and nods at her husband, as she gets up to leave us alone. I want to turn around and hug you. I want to kiss you and feel your lips on mine, but your arm wont let me go and I am locked in front of you. Your lips lightly kiss my ear, my neck. Shivers go down my spine and I moan lightly.
“Please“ I manage to say quietly. You know what I mean and release me. I turn around and stop in my tracks. I now know why the old woman’s eyes widened. You are in some sort of a uniform. Your face is dirty and you have blood on the hand that wasn’t around me. I can’t help staring. You grin at me and tell me that you had been called out to an emergency and that you didn’t want me to wait longer whilst you showered, so you came straight from the crime scene.
I smile at you and tell you that I will get you cleaned up soon enough. You growl under your breath, knowing what I mean. You grab my suitcases and take me to your waiting car. The drive to your house is a torture for both of us. Both of us want to touch the other. Want to be close to each other. Want nothing between us. Your house can’t come into view soon enough. I know that I have to be patient. I want us both to enjoy this first touch. The first touch on naked skin.
You stop in front of a house and I step out of the car. You grab my suitcases again and lead me inside. I have just entered the house as your pup comes running up to me. I kneel down and start playing with her. She licks across my face and I kiss her wet nose. I hear you mumble „Lucky sod“ behind me and have to grin again. I tell you to get under the shower and get cleaned up. You leave me alone to explore the house.
I wander through the rooms, the pup following me. My hand always there to pet her. I leave your bedroom till last. I enter the room and find a few clothes of yours spread on the bed. I grab a shirt and hold it to my face. I take in your smell and try to keep it forever. Something brushes along the back of me and I expect it to be the pup. Then I feel your strong body pressed against my back. My tummy starts doing flips as your bare arm goes around my waist again. I can feel that your still half wet. The water goes from your chest through my shirt to touch my back. I lean my head back against you and you start kissing along my neck. I start shaking and drop your shirt.
I am lost already. Lost in your arms. If you were to let me go I would probably fall. You turn me around. Never letting your arm go away from my waist. My hand comes to rest on your bare chest and it feels like I am burning into your skin. Our breath starts getting heavier, and we haven’t even kissed yet. I try to say something, but my voice fails. Your head comes lower. I start breathing even heavier. My mind is racing. I close my eyes and fall. I let go of everything that is on my mind. All the doubts. All the thoughts of wrong and right. This is what I want. This is the right.