Exploring Boundries

March 3

There was a moment, suspended like a drop of water. I forgot who I was. He was holding me down, his hand lightly on my pelvic bone, only pushing if I tried to struggle. If I stayed where he wanted, it was as light as a caress. Of course, I struggled.

I felt the pressure increase slightly; I couldn't raise my face from the pillow I was clutching. "I think I like it when you are muffled, Pet, you get louder. The next time we do this, I'll put a gag in your mouth."

I embarrassingly obliged him with an even louder groan. It all came down to a split second and I felt it. I felt my body relax with a long, slow shudder, a sensation that was as familiar to me as waking up from sleep and at the same time the most unique thing I had ever felt. It was an orgasm that instead of being quick spasm of pleasure, it was a drawn out shudder.

My boyfriend (Master, Dom, Top, Owner?) and I were trying something new. I can orgasm with a vibrator or from direct clitoral stimulation; I had never really orgasmed just through penetration, since I either wore the person out or they climaxed. He suggested fisting, since it wouldn't require as much effort and should allow for some incredible sensations.

I balked, pulling my legs together. "I can't." I said. "What if I get hurt?"

His smile was warm. "I won't hurt you, Pet. I would never damage you, you know that. We won't do it tonight, but next time, I will be ready."

I awaited our next date with trepidation. I did a little reading of my own and found that fisting wasn't too terribly dangerous. It just required a lot of lubrication and some care before and afterwards. And yet, I was still scared.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me as I lay down with him that next night.

I chuckled. "Very silly thoughts."

His smile glimmered in his eyes, like a boy on Christmas morning. "My most favorite kind of thoughts. Tell me!"

I felt my cheeks warm, "Well, I was thinking that my underwear is going up my butt."

He rolled me on to my back and with an expert tug, pulled them off from under my skirt.

"Awww, I wore ones I thought you would like, too."

His smile crinkled a bit as he looked at my bare bottom. "I don't know, this looks lovely."

His hand was light at first, stinging slightly with each slap. It didn't hurt, really, but I felt it. At first, it was just the sensation of his hand smacking between light rubs against the cheek. His other arm was holding my legs up. I couldn't help it, as they got harder; I started trying to avoid the blows. With a deft maneuver, he flipped me on my stomach and continued the spanking. I tried to stay still, but I couldn't stop squirming on the bed, my skirt rode up around my waist as he spanked with careful precision. I don't think the bastard missed a bloody spot.

It was an awkward moment or two as he and I got the rest of the way undressed. With a smile, he had me lay down on the bed. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying not to wince as my warm bottom came in contact with his old sheets. "Why don't you use your other sheets?" I was thinking of the satin ones he hadn't even taken out of the package yet.

"Because I don't care if these get stained, pet."

I might have said more, but I was distracted by the snap of latex. I had missed him getting a glove as I had carefully rested my bottom on the bed. I wonder if that was the point? I tried to relax; it wasn't like he had never used his hands before. Usually after sex, but this wasn't new.

He is an arrogant asshole. Worse (or better) he is an observant, arrogant asshole. He noticed that I was tensing up.

"Don't worry about relaxing, that is my job. Your job is to do what I tell you, Pet."

I am not sure if I can describe the feeling as he slid two fingers inside. There was a light pressure before his slick fingers slid inside. It wasn't long before I could feel my muscles trying to close around his fingers and tighten. I made a couple of exploratory contractions until he found a comfortable rhythm. I could feel my body relax into his motion, one he had learned so well already. Languor spread through me like I had just eaten cheesecake.

When the pressure increased a bit, I assumed he had added a finger. I couldn't watch without raising my body and when I tried that, a restraining arm kept me on my back. "Relax."

I felt my body respond. It wasn't long before I was moaning. There was a push and pressure. For a moment or two, it was like my lower body was being lifted off the bed and the friction was incredible. It felt like when you are fucking and you shift your body to that right place and it all feels good. The cock inside of you slides across everything just right, you feel full and it just pounds into you. It was like that.

When fucking a guy, I had never had that happen for very long. The guy usually gets tired or my reactions get him off. I suppose I could try to be quieter and not writhe so much, but when it feels good, I don't want to hold back. I hate it when my reactions goad a man into climaxing before I have gotten through with my ride. This was so different, because he wasn't getting tired.

This idea that he wouldn't have to stop hit me like a wave, followed quickly by the familiar tremors of a really intense orgasm. I could feel my body gearing up for it. I tensed up, ready to ride.

Then he bit me.

It was light nips on my inner thigh. But they distracted me. I felt my body release some of the tension caused by the approaching climax. I nearly screamed in frustration. I had been so close. "You son of a bitch." I squalled.

He smiled at me and winked. Do you believe that, he smiled at me? "Gotcha." (I told you, he can bee a right ass.)

He pushed me down into the bed with the hand that was in my cunt. His fingers rubbed on the floor of my pussy, not the ceiling. In a steady rhythm, his fingers moved in and out. There were wet noises and I felt myself dripping, like a lot. And it just kept going. And it kept going. I felt myself tensing and yet also getting more and more languid. The orgasm didn't hit me, it rolled over me in long and slow waves.

It was a different climax than any I had experienced. I felt my body shudder slowly, contract, and then relax. That is the only way I can describe it. It was like a being in an earthquake, seeing stars, and all of those other things that stupid romance novelists write to politely describe orgasm. This was a fucking climax the way it was supposed to be.

I was starting to come down from the high when the pressure increased almost to a point where I couldn't handle it. I felt the hand on my breast bone move to my groin. With a strong hand splayed from my lower stomach to my pussy, he held me down on the bed. "Don't struggle. Relax, I promise I won't let you get hurt."

To coin a romance novelists turn of flowery phrase, I felt myself blossom. I felt the pressure in my pussy increase, and increase and increase. I grabbed the pillow next to me and started to scream into it.

I felt the pressure increase slightly; I couldn't raise my face from the pillow I was clutching. "I think I like it when you are muffled, Pet, you get louder. The next time we do this, I'll put a gag in your mouth."

I embarrassingly obliged him with an even louder scream, resonating in spite of the pillow I had pulled to my face. I forgot everything, it all came down to a split second and I felt it. I felt my body relax with a long slow shudder, a sensation that was as familiar to me as waking up from sleep and at the same time the most unique thing I had ever felt.

And then I started to cry.

It wasn't tears of pain, simply the most intense release I have ever felt in my life. I shook and shuddered, tears running down my face, sobbing with the intensity of it all. He told me later I screamed. I don't quite remember that as my face and hands went numb and for a moment I think I fainted.

I blissed out, feeling satiated and full. After a few minutes, he gently slid his hand from my body. The sensation of being "empty" was more powerful than I could have imagined. I felt a quake run through my body, like a series of aftershocks after an earthquake. They felt good, though not as intense as the initial orgasm.

"I am sorry I cried, that has never happened to me before."

He wiped the tears still wet on my cheeks. "Shh, that isn't all that unusual. Don't worry about it."

He stood up and with a snap, pulled off the latex glove. He tossed it into a garbage can and then laid down next to me. He pulled me into his arms, his chest sweaty and warm. I shuddered again and for the life of me, I started crying again. Soft sobs that I couldn't help. He stroked my hair and made soothing noises. I felt myself relax and the next thing I remember was waking up, the morning sun lighting the windows.

I felt wonderful, like I had just taken a day at the spa or something. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I swear, I simply glowed.

"You look like the cat that got into the cream, pet." were the words he greeted me with as I walked back into the bedroom. I felt my cheeks blush.

"It was wonderful."

"Do you want to do that again? Do you want more?"

"You mean there is more?"

"Miranda, BDSM isn't just about flogging someone until they bruise. It can be whatever we make of it. If you had read about that experience in a book, it would have been quite different that what you felt, right?"

"I don't think I have ever read an experience like that in a book before."

"You told me you would trust me, so here is what I propose: We arrange some times when you come over here and you will do what I tell you. Safe words are always acceptable, but you try and let me push your boundaries.

Of course there will be times when we will just got on dates and spend time together. It won't be only about power exchange. We can go to movies, eat out, hell, even mini-golfing if you want. But when we agree, I will push you as far as I think you can go, until you tell me otherwise. I will be your Top."

I thought about it for a little bit. "Do I have to wear a collar?"

"Do you want to?"

I hadn't thought about it that way. What would wearing a collar feel like? "I wouldn't mind trying it sometime."

He showed me what he had in his play drawer. There were a few things, restraints, rope, a collar, two small alligator clips connected by a chain, a back massager and the box of latex gloves. "What are these?" I pointed to the clips on the chain.

"Nipple clamps."

"They look like they would hurt."

"No, just a sensation like this:" I gasped when he tweaked my nipple, but it did feel good, his fingers didn't let go, but just gave a small amount of pressure. After a bit, I was squirming.

"No floggers?"

"I don't currently own any, but we can go shopping at the next fetish flea or order online. We can buy things that look interesting. Some of the suede floggers aren't really meant for pain, just sensation. They would hurt less than a spanking did. You liked the spanking, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to try it, Miranda? Do you want to try this for a while. If you don't like it, we can stop, but I think you will like it very much."

"Okay, we can try, another orgasm like that would be worth it."

He smiled at me, kissed me and that was the end of the discussion.

I realized that I had to write this all down, for me if nothing else. So, here is the first entry in my sex diary.

Sex diary, that sounds dumb.