I slide my thumbs down your forearms, interlocking my fingers with yours, bringing one hand up to my lips to kiss your perfectly calloused palm. I long for your touch. Pressing your hand against my cheek, I gaze up at you adoringly.
You're a bit taller than I'd imagined, which makes me chuckle slightly, and my thoughts wander off to other things, not quite as pure and innocent as this tender caress. I'm pretty sure you know exactly what's on my mind, too, because before I can even manage to say anything else aloud, you ask me if I'm ready to go, to which I emphatically nod, then quickly turn my face away in a desperate attempt to hide my now bright-red cheeks. Too late.
You lean in and whisper, "You're cute when you blush," which only serves to make my cheeks flush even moreso than before.
...
Minutes later, I am holding your hand in the car, as the outside world zooms by in a blur. We make small talk along the way about airport security, the latest Doctor, and the new, annoying trends in superhero movies, but each conversation inevitably dwindles down to silence (which isn't altogether awkward or unpleasant - just different for us). I've texted you multiple times a day for years, and yet somehow being here, with you, it's almost too good to be true, and for the second time in recent history, I'm at a loss for words.
At many different points in my life (probably more than I even care to admit), I'd imagined what our first time would be like. And in almost every one of these scenarios, you've had roommates. I've often daydreamed about stealing away in the middle of the night, only to wind up at your doorstep, fresh-hewn tears streaming down my face as you whisk me inside and give me refuge from the emotional undertow that is my life, and we'd hide away together like lovers often do. But this is different. A warm and radiant, afternoon sun beats down on us as you fumble for your keys to your own apartment. I am mentally willing those keys to hurry the fuck up and find their mark so that we can go inside; it's just a little bit too bright out here.
"Welp, here we are!" you announce, as you heave the front door open wide, stepping aside as you invite me in. Your smile is even more dazzling in person, but your eyes now seem less sure than usual. Somehow it gives me extra comfort to know I'm not the only one who's nervous here. I duck my head and shuffle in, mumbling a "Thank you," as I pass you by. I hear the door close softly behind us. Finally!!
I try to take deep, calming breaths as my eyes slowly adjust to the dimly lit interior. Water, I think to myself, Need. Water. And almost as if in direct response to my unspoken request, you lead the way towards the kitchen, but as we pass through the entryway, I am instantly made aware of something else.
My painting - the one I'd given you a few years back (not because I had made it for you, specifically, but rather, because you had inspired me to get back into painting in the first place) - was hanging predominantly above the microwave, on display for all to see.
I am momentarily taken aback, and am deeply humbled by the gesture. It was as if you had peered deeply into my soul and had found that which truly mattered to me, and then had validated it - completely. You saw me.
I can't hold on much longer - this tempestuous tide of emotion was threatening to take me over. I turn and bury myself in your arms, clinging to you for dear life. "I love you, too," you whisper, and I am yours.
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Chapter 6:
"A Close Encounter of the Sixth Kind"
Unlike what my chat handle would imply, I am not built like a Grecian goddess, not in any classical sort of sense, at least. But then again, neither are you. Yet somehow we just fit - perfectly, imperfect, together.
I push you away for a moment, just so I can regard you for the fine specimen of man that you truly are. My eyes rove over your entire body, mentally undressing you before my hands can follow suit. I want to take my time, and savor every moment. I want to make this last.
The Dr. Who-inspired t-shirt you were sporting today had not gone unnoticed, and I take the opportunity now to trace the outlines of the beautifully silk-screened TARDIS, pressing my delicate fingertips across the coarse cloth into your soft, supple skin. I want to touch you.
Gingerly, I trail my hands downward to your hem, tugging gently at the stubborn fabric as we begin their slow ascent back up your torso. You let out an audible sigh, and relax against the doorframe - raising your arms up in a dogged attempt to make this easier for me.
I cast the rumpled garment aside and lean into you, my hands firmly placed upon your hips. Mmmm God you smell so good - the perfect bouquet of crisp linen and sweat, and I inhale - your scent is intoxicating. I nuzzle against your solid frame, whispering, "I can hear your heartbeat!"
You languidly open your eyes - lips parted in a half-exasperated, half-pleasured smile, and murmur, "I wonder why!" My body wanders - delicate digits beginning their diligent exploration of your uncharted skin. Fuck I needed this. Slowly my eyes rise up to match yours, and we are met with mirrored desires: a thirst mere water will not quench.
And as if by their own intervention, my hands find their way to your shoulders, and I inch my body close to yours. Closing my eyes I lean in... achingly beginning to traverse the chasm between our lips... when I feel yours press against mine. My heart threatens to explode in my chest. Making small movements, we savor each other's exquisite contours. I flick my tongue out teasingly along your lower lip, causing you to catch your breath. Pressing my tongue more firmly I part your lips, moaning softly into our kiss.
You return my passion zealously and our hands take on a mind of their own - squeezing, groping, grasping at every bit of exposed flesh and trying to expose still more. I feel your rough fingerprints as you slide your hand up my t-shirt - cupping my breast over my bra as your other hand rests on the small of my back, pulling me in so tight I can feel how hard you are already, as your growing bulge presses up against my groin. God I want you so bad.
I trail my fingertips down your stomach to your waistband, slipping my hand inside as I grasp your hard shaft over your boxers. Speaking of things that are bigger in real life! Fuck. I so desperately want you inside of me. Now.
Breaking our kiss, I begin to stroke you - slowly but firmly - rolling my hips against you as I leave a trail of hungry little kisses all along your collarbone. "Please," I whisper, as I gaze desperately into your stunning, mercurial eyes.
Without a moment's hesitation, you whisk away my top, and after giving my breasts another rough squeeze, you wrap you arms around me - lifting me off the ground. I giggle and squeal, immensely pleased (and also kind of terrified - this is really happening!) You heave me down the hallway towards what I can only surmise to be your bedroom, and I am unceremoniously flung backwards onto your bed.
But before I can even sit up, you're right there on top of me, your strong arms firmly pinning me down, and this time my moan isn't quite so quiet, nor is my voice as I half beg, half order you to "Please - fuck me!" And you oblige.
I have officially died and gone to heaven.
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Chapter 7:
"A Close Encounter of the Seventh Kind"
You growl a little at me, playfully at first but with a little bit of menace that makes my spine tingle. Suddenly parched, I bite my lip, and urge my hips up to meet yours, teasing your hard shaft between us. You shift your knee between my thighs, pressing against my sex and I moan again in spite of myself. Fuck, I'm so wet already. Your slow, forceful tease is driving me insane, and I writhe beneath you, trying to goad you into taking me where I want to go.
Pushing my hips up to meet yours, we grind against each other, our breathing steady and laboured, punctuated only by little gasps and whimpers as the two of us work each other up to a state of frenzy. The air itself is electric, and our hands are on fire.
Energy pumping through my veins, I urge you on, tangled beneath you in the throes of passion as your lips find their way up my neck, kissing and nibbling at my supple flesh. I groan in ecstasy, wanting your warm mouth on every bit of my body at once.
As if on cue, you trail your kisses further down, stopping to lap at first one, then the other tender nipple. I let out a delightful squeal and you flash me a satisfied smile as your lips continue their slow traverse downward still, stopping at my navel as you release my arm. Deftly maneuvering my skirt away, you pull my panties down and slide your rough palm against my soft mound, cupping me gently. I let our a heady sigh and relax as your fingers trail lazily up and down my wet slit, finding my "on" button and tracing little circles around, making my legs twitch with uncontrollable desire. Slowly inching your fingertips to my entrance, you guide first one then another inside my warm, wet folds. My breath catches in my throat as I watch you savoring my dampness. God you feel so good. You crawl back up my body, fingers thrusting deeper and deeper as you gaze deep into my lust-filled eyes. There's a hunger there I can't deny, a whispered, "Kiss me!" urgently passing my lips. And you do.