David and Catherine

(This is one of a series of 5 chapters that recounts the experiences of David and Catherine and their interaction with acquaintances, Joshua and Sukhi.)

THE RECONCILIATION

When Catherine woke on Thursday morning, she felt a tremendous confusion, so much so that her avowed intention to phone David first thing stalled as indecision and guilt swept over her. The indecision was not driven by a change of heart about wanting David back as soon as possible, but rather more by her inability to actually talk to him while the memory of the night before was still so vivid. Although she had slept as one truly physically and emotionally exhausted, every muscle in her body reminded her of the previous evening's vigorous callisthenics. Worse, she could almost feel Joshua inside her when she looked at the photographs. Catherine just did not have the brazenness to be able to welcome David back into her bed, always assuming that he wanted to come, while she was still feeling the physical after-effects of another man!

The trouble was that it was not going to be an evening easily forgotten and that she had to face Joshua again as soon as possible so that she could begin the process of getting their professional relationship normalised as soon as possible. To do this, she had to be at work and acting as if nothing had happened. She had not allowed for the now obvious fact that it was going to take time for the memories and feelings of a fairly unusual event to diminish but was concerned that she had already let an inordinate amount of time slip by while she stood on her dignity. Catherine worried about both David's patience and loyalty and just how long they could be tested, or indeed, whether it might already be too late!

What was needed was a way to indicate that she had misjudged him, for which she was sorry, and seeking at least, the opportunity to have a discussion with him, to see whether they might re-establish their relationship. She glanced at the letter addressed to David that she had placed by her handbag for readdressing and the solution hit her. Write him a note and drop both the note and his letter off to his ward on her way to work! That way she could avoid seeing him but she would still be able to convey her apologies to him and indicate a willingness to meet at some time in the future - when she was in a more stable frame of mind!

Catherine hated being in a state of indecision and having made up her mind what to do, was now both hopeful and considerably relieved. She sprang out of bed, found pen and paper and spent some time crafting an appropriate letter along the lines she had been thinking. Satisfied in the end, she carefully signed it off with 'lots of love' and sealed it in an envelope. Now she had only to get through meeting Joshua again and with a bit of luck, might get her life back on the rails again.

She glanced at the clock - it was still early enough for a nice long shower and to have time to deliver the letters. Out of habit, she went to the wardrobe for her dressing gown and caught a glimpse of the photographs propped up on the dressing table. Catherine stopped, glanced at herself in the mirror and wondered if it was too late or too difficult to change the habits of a lifetime. After a moment's hesitation and the reassurance of another glance at the photographs, she slowly slipped her nightie over her head and tossed it onto the bed. Then she stood up straight, pulled her shoulders back and surveyed her image in the mirror. The cool morning air caressed her body and her nipples hardened slightly as the delicious sensation of those recently familiar butterflies returned to her stomach. Thus reinforced, she strode off to the shower with all the aplomb of a model.

Was there going to be no place in this flat where memories did not haunt her? She felt vaguely excited as the water cascaded over her and the shampoo sluiced down her body. Even the act of drying herself found sensitive spots, especially around her nipples which were still a bit tender from the massaging they had received the night before! Catherine examined herself critically in the mirror from the same vantage point as in the photograph. No Rachel Hunter, but very nicely shaped just the same, she thought as she fired up the hair dryer. Toilet completed, she wandered back to her bedroom, resisting the temptation to wrap a towel around herself. David would have wondered what on earth had got into her if he had been around to see her immodesty and yet, she mused, I love the sight of his naked body so I suppose he would like mine just as much.

After dressing, she hid the photographs in the middle of an old pharmacology notebook which she then replaced in a battered old trunk, gathered her mail and headed out to catch the first bus going to the hospital. Breakfast would have to wait until morning tea time.

The round trip via the hospital was uneventful. She was able to drop both letters off at his ward without actually banging in to him, arrive at work only one minute late and be sitting at her bench contemplating the first microscopic slide when Eleanor, the office assistant, came in with a fax. "Very many thanks for the letters. What about meeting me at Logan Brown's for dinner on Sunday evening at say 7.00? I can't wangle any real time off prior to that. All my love, David."

A profound wave of relief swept over Catherine. 'All my love, David' was exactly what she wanted to hear and it also sounded as if she was forgiven. And to make her day and indeed, the balance of the week even better, the prospect of a romantic dinner at Logan Brown's - with four days in which to mentally prepare herself! She was so happy that she could even have hugged old Arthur if he had been standing nearby. Everything had worked out perfectly so far - only Joshua to go.

She was halfway through the box of slides with one eye glued to the eyepiece and the other on the check sheet, when a conspiratorial arm went across her shoulders and a face appeared beside her own as if to peer through the other eyepiece. "I've got to share my fabulous news with someone," he whispered. "Joshua, what on earth has happened?" Catherine questioned glancing at his grinning face. "Sukhi has just phoned me from Auckland and begged me to go back to her. She wont be back until Friday night but she hopes that I'll move back sometime between now and then. Isn't that just the greatest news?"

From Catherine's point of view, the news was indeed fantastic. It was quite obvious that there were no false expectations about a future relationship with her and that with his willingness to share his joy with her, he clearly regarded her in the same way he would a really close friend. Catherine was so overjoyed with this very happy resolution of what she feared might have been an awkward problem and so thrilled with her own news that she jumped off her stool and hugged Joshua tightly. "You dear man, " she said with tears in her eyes, " I am absolutely thrilled for you."

However, who should appear in the doorway at that moment but Eleanor, covered in confusion at the sight of them. Joshua released his embrace and walked over to Eleanor and hugged her also before leaving the room with a great grin on his face.

Startled, but not displeased, Eleanor looked at the retreating figure with wonderment. "What on earth was all that about?" she asked. Catherine seized the opportunity to dispel the impression of apparent familiarity with her by telling Eleanor that Joshua was over the moon because he had re-established the relationship with Sukhi that had fallen apart about three weeks ago. "Oh, that would explain why he's not been his usual self lately, but all is well that ends well, as they say. Well, in view of that, I think he should shout morning tea! I'll tell him now." "Hang on a moment," instructed Catherine, "you better tell him that I'll go halves with him, because I have had good similar good news!

Joshua appeared about ten minutes later. "What's this I hear about you having good news? You never told me!" he said accusingly. Catherine laughed and thrust the fax into his hand, "I never got a chance due to your quick exit, but I must say that I admired your aplomb by giving Eleanor a hug too. That certainly diverted attention from us. She quite liked it, too! Actually, you are becoming a bit too familiar with the female staff around here. I might have to speak to management about it!"

Joshua chuckled, "And I was just beginning to like the experience of spreading my wings, when they suddenly get clipped! Oh well." He glanced around to make sure nobody could hear, " You OK? No regrets? I see that you are wearing sensible shoes today!"

Catherine glanced down at her low healed shoes, "I could only risk the consequences of falling off the ladder once in a lifetime! But seriously, no regrets at all and in fact I might have much to be thankful to you for. It's just that I felt I couldn't face David so soon after - well you know---," she glanced away blushing slightly, "while I could still feel the physical effects of you. I think I might have undergone a significant change in the way I-ah-- behave with David. It's a bit early to be sure but the intention is there. By the way, I assume that you don't propose to confess all to Sukhi."

"Struth, no! It would leave a niggly suspicion lurking in her mind and she seems to be able to have that without any excuse anyway. No, as far as I am concerned, last night was a very private and very personal experience that cannot be shared with anyone else for any reason, especially since it might ultimately compromise you. In fact, last night was very special and I would not want the memory of it sullied by it being used as a psychological football on some occasion in the future. Private things that happen between real friends, stay private and other people don't get hurt. I hope you feel the same?"

"Absolutely! That's exactly how I feel too. And after what we shared, I like to think of you as a special friend, rather than as any old male who it was convenient to have--ah-- sex with. By the way, I could not bring myself to destroy those photos - you know- especially the one that started it all. What about giving me one of your old university lecture books and an envelope addressed to yourself with a note on the outside requesting their return to you? I'll hide the photos in the back of it and if anything happened to me, hopefully, somebody would either throw it out or send it to you unopened! At sometime in the future, we can have a look at them and maybe have a good laugh and decide their future!" "That sounds great and I'm glad you're going to keep them for a while at least. I'll try to find a book tonight, otherwise I'll bring one in on Monday. Hey, thanks for being so understanding. You really are marvellous."

And thus the morning passed in a glow of satisfaction at resolving most of the potential difficulties and in anticipation of the weekend and of seeing David again. When Catherine went out to lunch, she passed a hair salon and decided to make an appointment to have hers done on Friday evening. While in the salon, she noticed a 'summer special' on their sun bed and she thought that she could get three sessions in before Sunday. David had made several oblique references at different times to how odd people looked who were heavily tanned on the parts that were exposed and snow white on the bits that were normally covered. She supposed he saw a fair bit of that at the clinic and concluded that he did not think it looked all that great. Well, she could at least soften the edges between her summer vacation tan and the rest of her body, starting now!

Catherine paid over her $15 and was shown to the room and instructed to wear the dark glasses if she was letting her face be tanned. She locked the door, observed the length of the unit and decided that she would start at the feet end even if that meant her head missed out a bit. Taking off summer clothing only took a minute but standing naked and knowing the underlying purpose of the tanning started those butterflies again. She quickly lay on the bed and hit the switch, determined to stay under the lamps until they knocked on the door. The warmth of the light flooded over her and with the overall sense of well being, she almost went to sleep with the result that she was there for just over half an hour. She wished that she had put a small sticking plaster somewhere so that she could measure the amount of tanning achieved over the period, but it was too late now she thought as she quickly dressed. As she dressed, she touched her breasts and nipples - still tender but better.

She walked down the street, she wondered if the occasion mightn't warrant a new dress? Only fifteen minutes of lunch break left, so window shopping was all that could be done but it might provide some inspiration. There were a couple of dress shops in the next block to be visited. The first had a window display featuring some very dressy slacks and blouse combinations, some of the colours being suitable for evening wear. The second shop displayed two black silky cocktail dresses - one was quite high necked with a largish patterned collar and tiny sleeves. The other was a sleeveless creation with a halter neck cutting under the arms to a deep "V" about 20cm above the waist. Now if only the size was right, this might be just what she was looking for, even if the price did make her pause for a moment.

Damn it, she thought, glancing at her watch, I have to find out. She shot into the shop and was relieved to find an idle salesgirl who was very happy to confirm that it was her size - would she like to try it on? She tore into the cubicle, whipped off her skirt and blouse and slipped the dress over her head, zipped up the back and stood in front of the mirrors in the showroom. It fitted quite neatly. She would have to fix up the bra straps so that they didn't show and it was probably a few centimetres shorter than she would have liked, but this was no time for debate. She returned with the dress, two twenty dollar notes and her business card. Would they hold it until she could come in tomorrow to settle up? Not a problem - great, and almost sprinted out the door.

Thursday evening was spent tidying up the flat, and giving her nails the once over. The requirement to pull thin rubber gloves on and off all the time, meant that nails had to be kept short and neat. She was dying to get hold of the dress but had been unable to get round to the shop before they closed. Instead, she fossicked around in her drawers to see whether she had a suitable bra and was a still bit dubious about the one she put aside. Then she reviewed her shoes to see what might go with the dress. None of them really appealed to her either - which made her feel a bit guilty about being influenced by Joshua's comments - 'You have extremely pretty feet and you should wear shoes that show them off, not those clunky ones that are so fashionable'. This was going to be a financial disaster if the only item she could wear from her existing wardrobe was a pair of black panties! Might need a new shade of nail polish too! She smiled ruefully to herself as she recalled a cartoon of a woman showing a pair of gloves that she had just purchased to a friend and saying how wonderful they were since she didn't have a single thing that would go with them!

Friday was full on. Lunchtime for another half hour on the sun-bed, a booking for another session on Saturday at 9.00am, picking up the dress, the hair appointment straight after work, then home to try on the outfit and see what needed to be organised on Saturday. She puffed up the stairs, slumped onto a kitchen chair and decided that she needed a glass of wine before she did anything else. Thus fortified, Catherine went through to the bedroom slipped out of her clothes, replaced the bra with one she had sorted out the night before and pulled on the dress. Nice fit from the front, snug over the hips and waist, bust nicely accentuated. She turned and viewed the back - just as she feared - the top of the bra strap just showing. She stood up straight and it was barely visible, but when she leant forward as she might while sitting at a table, the whole strap became visible. Catherine unzipped and removed the dress along with the offending bra which she stretched out on the bed while she pondered how it might be fixed.

Catching a glance in the mirror of her nicely taut breasts and feeling the air caressing them, gave her another flight of the butterflies of anticipation and, perhaps, a somewhat radical solution. She looked at herself again in the mirror, then slipped the dress over her head and zipped it up. That certainly fixed the back view - no bra in sight now! It hadn't altered the front much either. She leant forward and back and sideways and if she really looked, she could see her nipples tracing a line across the silky material as her breasts moved, but the outline of her bust looked very similar as when she wore the bra. She went to the bathroom carrying a hand mirror, where the light was better and the mirror longer. The matter of concern being whether the dress would gape at the sides when she had an arm stretched out while leaning forward. The fit was almost perfect, which kept the dress fitting snugly no matter how she moved. It would be improved very slightly by shortening the halter strap around her neck by a few centimetres, otherwise it was major surgery on the other bra. Before rushing to do either, she decided that she would wear it for the rest of the evening to see whether she could get used to both the idea and more particularly, the feel of not wearing a bra! She stood back and had a critical look at the length. About fifteen centimetres above the knee when she would really have preferred it to be nearer ten - still, it wasn't worth the trouble of dropping the hem. So, shoes were the next concern. She looked over the ones she had and tried on one or two which looked bulky rather than neat.

Then a memory trace flashed into her mind and she went to the cupboard where old newspapers and junk mail were kept for recycling. Sure enough, there it was. A Kmart glossy with just the item she was looking for on page twelve. "Paragini' strippy sandals or 'Baretraps' sandals at only $34.95 and one line at $26.95. The pair she liked from the illustration had a moderately high heel, two thin parallel straps across the toes and the usual crossed arrangement around the ankle. Some were in navy but most were black. What a stroke of luck! She would be there straight after the tanning session.

After a couple of hours, she had satisfied herself that she could live with the feel of not wearing a bra, which settled another matter. Just the shoes to buy and a suitable nail polish and she was ready for Sunday evening. She hung the dress on a hanger, slipped a long tailed shirt on and put all her bras away in the drawer - might as well get properly used to the feel, she decided.

Saturday was uneventful. Getting quite reckless, Catherine had gone to her sun-bed session wearing a T-shirt (without a bra) and skirt and was comforted that nobody seemed to notice. While she was out, she selected a pair of shoes at Kmart as anticipated along with bottle of rusty-red coloured nail polish. The morning purchases included a couple of bottles of wine and enough food to get through to Tuesday at least.

Arriving back at the flat at about 11.00, she decided that she had better deal with the photographs. Joshua had given her a stamped and addressed envelope along with an old student exercise book, so she lightly glued the photographs into the middle of it, placed the book inside the envelope and hid it in the old chest. She still felt nervous about keeping them, but they were much less likely to be discovered in the middle of an old student note book.