It took weeks of flirting to even get his attention. I was starting to worry that he was engaged or gay. But even when I got Ben to talk to me, he seemed too shy or embarrassed to do anything more than engage in small talk.
Regardless, he was my new romantic focus, especially after a couple months on campus my junior year, and no real relationship. I had one wild weekend over Halloween, hooking up with some guys who didn't go to my university. It was fun, but I was starting to get lonely. I made up my mind to pursue a proper relationship. I had broken up with my ex at the end of my sophomore year, and I missed having someone I could count on - someone to hang out with, have dinner with and, of course, someone to get me off.
I thought Ben would fit the bill. He was smart and serious, geekily handsome with curly brown hair, blue eyes and a nutty-crunchy vibe. He liked independent music, art and hiking. His shyness (or was it aloofness?), only made him more alluring. He had been a high school friend of my apartment-mate, and we had a couple of classes together. We started having lunch together a couple times a week. The slow build-up to our relationship just made me more convinced that he was worth the wait. One sunny afternoon, we were sitting on the grass outside of the History building, and he put his hand on my thigh as he tried to pick himself up. Goosebumps ran down my leg, and I smiled at him. He got nervous, pulled away and apologized way too profusely.
That night, I tossed and turned thinking about Ben. I was sleeping in a pair of panties and a T-shirt, and I could feel my nipples harden against the cotton. I grew damp to my fantasy, in which Ben and I were alone on that grass, and he grabbed me aggressively. This assertive Ben in my fantasy confidently stripped off my top, removed my bra quickly and licked and sucked my nipples until they turned sore. I wanted him to rub me through my jeans, and then unbuckle them and move his fingers to my damp slit, sliding barely in and out until I begged for more.
As the fantasy grew hotter, I pulled off my night shirt and underwear. I checked to make sure my door was locked and went under my bed to grab my rabbit vibrator, with a long, thin dildo and a clit stimulator. I turned it on, first just teasing my clit, imagining Ben's long fingers stimulating me. Then I pictured him moving his face between my legs, and his long tongue stroking my labia, and then tracing gentle circles around my clit. I turned the rabbit up higher as my fantasy Ben licked faster, and I put my index finger inside of my moist folds, wishing it was Ben's. I almost made myself come, but I pulled back right on the edge. After a short rest, I stuck my middle finger and index finger in my cunt and pressed the rabbit against my clit. I got into a perfect rhythm, but once again, I pulled back just before I orgasmed. I put both fingers to my lips and tasted my juices with my tongue, tentatively at first, but then I sucked them both hard. I wished it was Ben tasting me.
I then put globs of lube on my fingers, spreading it up and down the shaft of the vibrator. I held it like it was Ben's cock, imagining him hard for me. I took more lube and thrust my fingers inside of me, spreading the lube around my walls. The anticipation and edging had me as horny as I had been in weeks. I pressed the head of the dildo to my opening, teasing myself for about a minute, then pressing just the tip in. Finally, I gave up the restraint, and pushed it as deep as it could go. I turned the vibrator up. I was on my back with my legs spread wide and my feet in the air, imagining Ben's thrusting hips between my thighs. I pushed hard and fast with the vibrator in my right hand, my left hand over my mouth to hold back my moans. The orgasm made my whole lower body convulse and shake, and I my pussy walls spasmed against the vibrator for several minutes.
My heart was racing and I was breathing fast for a long time as I slowly recovered. "Ben." I mumbled, falling asleep with lube and my sticky fluids sticking to my thighs and fingers.
I started calling Ben late at night, supposedly to ask him about assignments or questions I had about class. But really, I just wanted to hear his voice. Sometimes he would go on for several minutes about something he was passionate about, an arthouse movie, a new band he had discovered, or something he read in "The New York Times." I loved listening to his deep voice, so passionate about so many topics that most college guys knew nothing about. Just listening to him made me horny, and I started fingering myself under the covers whileon the phone. I would get so wet and excited, rubbing my clit while imagining him inside me. I wondered if he would find it sexy or trashy. One time, as he was comparing different Seattle grunge bands during a 5-minute soliloquy, I was getting really horny rubbing my clit. I couldn't make myself cum just with my fingers, so I pulled out my tiny, lipstick-shaped vibrator and pressed it against my clitoris. I pulled the covers over it to reduce the noise. One time he stopped to ask me a question and I just said "Yes, yes, yes," as an orgasm welled up inside of me. I pressed my face into the pillow to cover up my cries of release as he kept talking.
I started working some late nights at the college newspaper, laying out pages and editing. Sometimes Ben would visit, sitting on my desk and reading or studying while I worked. He walked me home like a gentleman, sometimes with a kiss on the cheek. He apparently thought I was a really good girl, so he was taking it slow. Meanwhile, as soon as he left, I was pulling out sex toys and imagining him coming inside of me.
One night, Ben left the office to get us some snacks. Jake, who worked late with me many nights making sure all the ads were placed and printed correctly, scoffed as Ben left.
"Lily, why don't you just tell that poor boy you want to fuck him and get on with it. I'm getting bored watching him hover around you," Jake said.
"Shut up! You don't know anything about either of us," I said.
"I know you really like him, and I know he is so tentative he's afraid you'll reject him and humiliate him," he said. "Jeez, if you gave me the signals you are giving him, I would bend you over this desk right now and leave your legs quaking."
"Ughh! You're a pig. Don't speak to me," I said.
But he wasn't wrong. I was giving out lots of signals. And even though Jake was a misogynistic frat boy, he was sexy and the idea of him bending me over the table actually got me a little wet. I ignored my body's involuntary reaction and went back to scolding him.
"Just because you are incapable of a real relationship, you mock everyone else's," I said.
"Is that what this is, a real relationship? You and "Can't-Take-Yes-For-An-Answer" Ben are in a relationship?" Jake said. "I thought you were desperately trying to start a relationship and he was droning on about overrated music. Are you sure he's not gay? Or married? I mean, you're not my type, but you are kind of hot. And I'm pretty sure 90 percent of the guys on this campus would have tried to fuck you if you put off the signals you are putting out there to Benjamin."
That night, I leaned against Ben as we walked home. I held his hand and kissed him briefly on the lips outside my door. Somehow the Southern girl in me knew that it wouldn't be the right move to invite him in. I might scare him away. But I desperately wanted him to ask if he could come in. He didn't. Instead, I was in my room moments later, stripping my clothes and pulling out the rabbit vibrator. I didn't tease myself for long stretches like I usually did. Within a few seconds I was pushing it inside me, my legs high in the air, wishing Ben was fucking me. Then I flipped over, putting my face on my pillow and my ass in the air, reaching around to push the vibrator in from behind. I pushed with long hard thrusts. As I was climaxing, my vagina muscles clamping around the dildo I realized it wasn't Ben I was thinking about any longer. "Fuck me Jake, fuck me harder. Fill me up with your cum Jake," I whispered, incredibly turned on, but a little ashamed.
One of our mutual friends invited me on a camping trip. I was about to say a polite "no thanks," until she mentioned that Ben and two other guys would be coming along. She promised that the girls would have our own tent, but I wasn't listening. I was already fantasizing about being with Ben out in the woods. I had never been the outdoor type, but I said yes. Of course, instead of worrying about hiking gear, some waterproof boots and a good water bottle, I started thinking about cute outfits and something sexy that would lure Ben into my sleeping bag.
I talked to him nonchalantly about the trip, and he excitedly told me about hiking trails, waterfalls and animals we might see. By Friday afternoon, as we packed up the cars, I was confident that Ben would come inside me later that night. Ben drove with his friend Jason in the front. I was in the backseat, and I fell asleep. I had a dream about sucking Ben's cock in the car, and I woke up horny. I pulled my jacket over my lap and rubbed myself through my jeans while the boys talked in the front.
The boys - their friend Edwin was with us - helped Beth, Tammy and I set up our large tent. Jason and Ben had a two-person tent, and Edwin had his own small tent. We went hiking and I was actually enjoying being out in the woods. Ben was a terrific guide and helper, holding my hand as I crossed a small stream and boosting me up on a steep section of the trail. I went slowly, enjoying his hands on my ass and hips.