Many thanks to 'jacuzzigal' for graciously giving to me her time and effort to editing this story. I appreciate your support Jazzy.
She couldn't remember a time when she was this nervous. While she knew she would be safe with him, she was about to do something so out of character and she couldn't quiet her nerves and she so wanted to be confident, tonight especially. She wanted him to know she wanted this, wanted to please him more then anything. They had shared this fantasy but she never thought she would actually be able to go through with it. Tonight she would. Tonight she would take another step closer to him.
Cate had always been a confident, independent woman; capable of anything she set her mind to. She had never really known failure - anytime something didn't go the way she expected or wanted, she was able to work with it. She had a sense of flexibility that nothing really was a lost cause. Cate was sure of herself, could hold her own with anyone, in any conversation or experience, she took pride in her education, her abilities and her talents. She was a successful businesswoman. She'd created her own company, started in the spare room of her small condo, she caressed and cared for that business as if it was a baby. In many respects it was; she had never taken the time to consider having a family, she didn't even take much time to have a man in her life. That was the one part life that she had no faith in herself. She tried from time to time, but it was a half-hearted attempt and she knew it. It was just easier not to think about it all, to concentrate on her craft, to keep her company growing.
Cate was an artist once upon a time; she had a simple life back then, before becoming commercially successful. Occasionally her art seemed distant to her. She still took some time for designing and creating but more of her days were spent with business issues. No longer was she drawing, painting, sketching, making - now she was a business. Cate had made a decision years back that seemed right at the time, a large company approached her to buy her designs. They told her how they would bring her art to every home in the country, how the possibilities were endless. Cate was impressed. The decision seemed easy. She was about to sign on the dotted line, sell her name in effect, never needing to worry about money again. 'Just give me the pen,' she thought.
When it came time to sign the contract she reneged. She couldn't do it, not even for that much money. These creations were a part of her and she wasn't for sale. Plus she thought she could do the same as that company if she wanted. Okay, maybe not exactly but she knew she could make something work. She had a few friends that counseled her and she set off to make her own mark, with her own sweat and toil, not someone else's. She did it too, realizing she sacrificed more by doing it her way. Her work and integrity were worth it all, but she did give up a part of life for that success. It wasn't that she regretted doing things on her own, but that decision cost her in ways money couldn't possibly matter.
She was alone in many aspect of her life. She was the beginning and end of the line in her company. She made all the decisions, directed all areas of her business. She was a total success financially speaking, but she was alone with that success. While she was winging from coast to coast, north to south, meeting to meeting, she ignored that restlessness inside. She knew success couldn't be measured in dollars, she knew success was about those intrinsic parts of life: how she lived not how she made a living.
Nothing happened in her life that wasn't planned. There were no surprises in her life. She called the shots, made the decisions and made things work no matter what. She was in control of her life, and then she met him. Cate responded to him in ways she didn't know existed and it was unnerving. She felt compelled to know him, as if there was a force pulling her towards him that wasn't of her making. At first she fought it, but just like you can't change the tide she couldn't stop this compulsion.
The men Cate had dated seemed one-dimensional compared to him. They may have been financially successful but none had that particular quality that showed her they were in touch with life on different levels. They lived their professions and while Cate was certain there were times she was guilty of the same behavior she was able to maintain a connection to her true self, that personal place that held her artistry, frivolity and romance for life. She knew how to stay connected to those parts of life, she just didn't always do so.
John was an entrepreneur, a man of incredible substance, intellect and emotion. This was a man so sure of what he wanted and also with the resources to get it. But more then that, he was tender and giving. John was like no other man Cate had ever known and she instinctively moved towards him in all facets of her being. In the span of a few months he turned her life inside out.
John was aware of all life could be. He seemed to live every part of his life, left nothing on the table with each experience. If he wanted it he got it, though not in any self-absorbed or trite manner - he treated life with the reverence it deserved. For John each experience added to his life. Like Cate he accepted each moment no matter the result. Good or bad, it all mattered to him. He lived his life not just as a continuum of days one after the other; he lived the fullness of each day. There wasn't anything John didn't want to experience; he had a passion for everything. When he met Cate there was an instant attraction. It wasn't only physical attraction. It was also an attraction to how she saw life, that she knew there was so much more. He wanted to experience it with her.
Cate felt an instant attraction too. He was seemingly fearless. His zest for life was like a tonic to her soul. This man lived, participated in every part of his life. She was drawn to that immediately and she wanted to do the same, with him as her inspiration. She had no idea the impact he would have upon her life. What she imagined turned out to be a fraction of the reality. The two became lovers and confidants.
John had experiences far beyond Cate's about so many things - definitely about physical pleasures. Their lovemaking was incredible certainly by her standards. She'd never had a lover like him. He was so exciting and brought out a wantonness she didn't know existed in her. He loved bringing her to new heights, new levels of living and loving. He couldn't stop, and she became an addiction to him. Each day he seemed to find another way to seduce her into life. He wanted to show her what was lying dormant inside her, the woman she didn't know was there.
Tonight would be a special night for both of them. Cate hadn't really had many sexual fantasies but since meeting John that had changed. He unlocked that part of her, allowing her to create fantasies, some she dared to share with John. Tonight they would bring a shared fantasy to life. Her nerves were on edge. Her mind raced all day and though she willed herself to be calm it was no use. She was excited and apprehensive. Would she actually be able to go through with this?
As Cate got ready, each task seemed to take all her concentration. She showered and dried her hair, then moved into her bedroom and looked at the clothes laid out on her bed, each garment chosen with care to please him. As she slid the thigh-high black stockings on her heart began to race. Next she put on the black lace panties and matching bra. Looking at herself in the mirror her breath caught, and she felt that stir deep inside. Her silk blouse looked like the colors of a sunset in summer. It seemed to change colors with the light. Cate pulled the black skirt on and nervously smoothed out her clothing and took a deep breath.
