"You're daydreaming again."
I slowly emerge from my reverie and look upon her smiling face that is bathed in the summer sun. It's a quick one, for I turn once more to look upon the river that's slowly drifting on past. I can't look at her right now. My heart just can't bear it. It beats for her. My loins burn for her. I'm already hard as a rock and I know she must see the bulge in my swimsuit. How could she not? They're skintight and the microfiber clings to my skin, even when its dry. It isn't anymore. It's still wet from my swim. I knew I shouldn't have worn them today. However, my fiancée had insisted on it, mostly because she'd bought them for me. I see Amy just down from us, sitting on the blanket and talking to her girlfriends Sarah and Ashley. Here I am sitting on this rock alone with Alex.
"
She's my best friend.
" I remind myself yet again. And yet again, my mind goes to places it shouldn't. She's laying besides me on the towel and wearing the skimpiest swimsuit I've ever seen. It's a blue two-piece that leaves nothing to the imagination. The top barely contains her small, tear-drop shaped breasts. Hell, I can see the damn nipples through the fabric. The bottoms are not any better I notice as I ease my eyes down her perfect body, past her flat stomach to her crotch. The fabric is so thin that I can see the outline of her labia between her parted legs. Her legs...well they're long and beautiful, and like the rest of her are perfectly tanned. God, I'm losing it! I want so bad to run my hands over them and between them that it hurts. It hurts like hell! It's to the point that I'm on the verge of crying. And yet, I dare not. I fight the urge. I shove it down in the dark recesses of my increasingly hypersexual mind. I do it simply because Alex has been my best friend for years, certainly since our freshman year in college. Hell, there'd been times in our lives when she was more of a sister than a friend. Now though, things have changed. How though? I don't remember when this change happened. All I know is that I've been dealing with these feelings for weeks now, and by weeks I mean over six weeks at the most. I say feelings because it's more than just lust. There is love too.
"
This is a fucking mess!
" I say to myself, silently, of course. "
I'm getting married to Amy.
"
I grew up with her. I've loved her for...well certainly ever since I was old enough to know what love was. I lost my virginity to her when I was sixteen. We did the deed in my uncle's barn of all places. Two nights later, we did it again, and that time she'd invited Sarah. Ok, yes, I fell in love with a girl who was bisexual and loved a girl. Sue me, I'm human. I was also head over heels and horny, and by horny I mean extremely horny. I would have fucked a cow if she'd asked me to. I was that lost. I'd done anything and everything for her. I still would. I still do. To think, I never had to try so hard to win her love. I already had it. All I had to do was to prove that I could respect her love for Sarah, and even to love her too. It was Sarah's heart I had to work for, and in time I earned it. By our junior year in high school, she was as much mine as Amy was. However, we knew that there were boundaries that just couldn't be crossed and we knew that living in a small town like ours rumors would take root. Some already had. We also knew that our families suspected something, but thankfully they never pressed us about it. It was because of this that we vowed to keep our love secret. It wasn't till college that we felt safe enough to take the first tentative steps into the light.
Alex was the first to know. She'd caught us making out at some campus party we attended the last part of our freshmen year. We thought we'd put on a show for the frat boys. Hell, we thought no one we actually knew would be there. Plus, I have to confess that a lot of alcohol went into our ill-advised decision to get naked in front of strangers and pretend to be porn stars. Now that I think of it, I'm sure there are some videos circulating out there somewhere on the internet. God only knew how many of those frat boys filmed it all for pure hell of it, and for getting off later I might add. I can imagine some might have ended up making money off it by selling it to some porn site on the dark web. I wonder if Amy and Sarah had ever thought of that. Anyway, I'd met Alex in Biology class our first semester and we ended up spending a lot of time together over those few months before that shameful X-rated performance was foolishly made. She'd never been a partygoer and I'd assumed that she wouldn't attend, even though she too had been invited by a mutual classmate of ours. She showed, and it was that night she discovered that there was far more going on between the three of us than we'd let on.
"You know, you shouldn't be ashamed of it."
Her voice breaks me out of my remembrance and I face her confusedly. She's motioning to my crotch with her eyes. "What?"
"You're thinking of Amy." She says. "I can tell."
I follow her gaze downwards and see that I'm straining so hard against my trunks that I'm partially exposed. I can't help but blush upon seeing the head peeking out of the waistband.
"I've seen it before." She says.
"I know." I mutter. "But..."
"She gets you hard." She smiles wanly, as if somehow the thought makes her uncomfortable, if not sad. "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be wanting it a lot." She lies back on her towel and hides her eyes behind her sunglasses once more. "Never seen a woman with such a sexual appetite like her." She laughs, but awkwardly. "But then again, you'll have two, right?" She continues to avoid my gaze. "You're basically getting two for the price of one, right?"
"You're funny." I say knowing she's right. When I proposed, I knew what would happen. I knew that I'd be marrying not only Amy, but also Sarah too. It wouldn't be officially, of course.
"It's true." She counters. "Those two are inseparable. Of course, you knew that when you proposed. You knew that when you allowed yourself to become hopelessly entangled with Amy in the first place."
"Interesting choice of words." I observe as I force myself to lie back on my own blanket and forget the pressing erection that I know must be even more visible than when I was in a sitting position. For some reason, I get the sense that Alex is enjoying the view. Since her intuition is so acute today, I can't help but wonder if she's discerned that it isn't Amy that's causing my arousal. It's her. I push aside that thought for the moment, "You don't approve of my choice?"
"I know you love her." She says but pauses for a moment to correct herself, "I know you love them both."
"But...?" I press.
"But I'm wondering if you'd thought this through."
I can feel her eyes boring into me. "Thought what through?"
"Don't be coy with me, Christian." She says now in all seriousness. "I'm talking about making a life with her and Sarah. How is that going to play out over the many years to come? How is a marriage of three going to really work, in the long run...what with making a life together, careers, raising children..."
"I see where you're going with this." I tell her, all the while feeling that scared feeling again, the one I've been feeling ever since the night I proposed and she said yes.
