China Kiss is an occasional series of one-off tales about the lives of expatriates in China and their romantic and sexual encounters. Each tale is stand-alone which means that they can be read in any order and there are no recurring characters. They are similar in style though, so if you like one, you will hopefully like the others as well. They aim to celebrate cultural differences rather than fetishize them.
Thanks as always to my beta readers Mal_Bey and 29wordsforsnow for all their help.
I'd gotten away from the Christmas party for about two hours when I had to go back again.
I'd done my bit. Turned up, given a more or less genuine smile for the photographs with the students, made halting small talk in English and even more halting small talk in Mandarin, drank one paper cup of sickly sweet red wine, and gotten the hell out of there again after the minimum socially acceptable amount of time. Christmas was my festival not theirs, and as such, I went, talked about it and we all had a culturally enriching experience. There may have been Christians amongst the student body, in fact statistically there probably were, but I didn't ask. Religion was a topic I'd been told to avoid.
So I found myself back in my apartment at nine o'clock facing the prospect of Christmas Eve alone, which I was fine with, followed by Christmas Day alone which I was more sanguine about. Alone, of course, bar a series of Skype calls round the various relatives and possibly a meet-up with some of the other teachers from around the city in the evening - if I felt like it. I probably wouldn't. It was fine, really. There were a lot of upsides to teaching English at a university in China, and this was just one of the downsides. And it only really applied for a few days each December.
I'd stuck a movie on when I'd gotten back and it was just reaching its denouement when my mobile rang. I muted the TV and answered. "Hi?"
"Is that David? Hi, it's Celine from the office. Umm, do you know where Gordon's apartment is?"
Celine was one of the administrators. I'd dealt with her a lot when she'd been in charge of arranging the permits for my visa, but less so once I'd arrived. Most of her other responsibilities were more student-facing. It was a pity because she was one of the more competent members of staff -- cute too.
"Sure, it's two floors down from mine on the same side. That would make it 7C."
"Okay, great. Thanks. 7C." The conversation felt like it was over and yet she didn't immediately hang up.
"Is everything okay? Do you want me to knock on his door and give him a message or something?" I didn't much care for Gordon. He was a second-year engineering teacher from New Zealand. I found him vaguely obnoxious at work and plain obnoxious socially. I mostly tried to avoid him. Still, a little bit of niceness never went a miss.
"No. That's okay. He's still here at the party."
I was used to the occasional weird conversation since arriving in China. I no longer expected every conversation in an alien culture to make perfect sense. "Well, okay. I'm glad I could help. 7C. Enjoy the rest of..."
"He's drunk."
Who the hell got drunk at a student Christmas party? It was an extension of work. I couldn't imagine there was any amount of alcohol would actually make it fun. Gordon had obviously decided to test this theory to the point where he either couldn't remember where he lived or couldn't get himself back there. He hadn't been in China more than six months which meant he was still in the sink or swim period. Sink it was, then.
"Exactly how drunk is drunk?" I asked.
"He's having trouble standing. And he's singing. And abusing the students."
'Abuse' is an English word that covered a lot more ground than Celine probably realized. Ground that I was thankfully well away from. This wasn't my problem.
On the other hand it was Celine's problem and I couldn't help that there was a certain amount of unspoken pleading in her call. And it was Christmas Eve after all.
I sighed and asked, "Do you want me to come back?"
- - - -
The university was only a five minutes walk away -- maybe ten now that the ground was frozen and I had to watch every step. The temperature had dropped to about minus twelve Celsius, but it was always a dry cold and as long as there was no wind, you didn't feel it too much.
When I got to the atrium of the teaching building, the party was already clearly winding down. There were a few students milling around and a few more engaged in various clean up activities. Most of the groups were clearly standing away from, but also intently watching, one corner of the room. I headed straight there.
Gordon was being supported by two students and surrounded by another four or so. I winced. At least three of them were my own freshmen. Celine was hopping around in front, trying to orchestrate matters. Piper, the administrator I dealt with on a more regular basis was on the phone to someone. Mr Feng, the head of the student affairs office was standing on, looking authoritative but not actually doing anything, which was about par for him.
As I approached, Gordon took a step forward to greet me, which nearly ended with him on the floor. As he regained his balance, he hugged the student on his right as if to indicate his arm was round the guy because he was his new best mate and not in any way providing any kind of physical support.
"David, my man. Hey, you're still here. Shit party."
My goal here was clearly to get him out of here with the minimum of further disruption. "Yeah, sure. How about we go home?"
"Yeah, great. I've got some beer at my place. We'll go back and crack open a few."
Gordon was, it seemed, largely unaware or unwilling to acknowledge that the return voyage was going to be much more complicated than normal. Celine gave some orders in Chinese and arranged a team of four students to provide an escort -- two to provide support to each arm and another two to rotate in when the first team got tired.
We set off. The ice made it slow going. I'd probably be forced to volunteer a turn at some point, but I hung back with Celine and the unencumbered students.
"Sorry to trouble you," said Celine. "Were you busy?"
I didn't really want to say I'd only been watching a film because that might indicate my real opinion of the party she'd organized and I'd left. "Just had some family calls to make," I said. "You know, with the time difference..."
"You're a good filial son," she said. I suddenly felt bad about the lie. She was always very earnest. Sometimes to the point where I wondered if there was a form of Chinese sarcasm that I hadn't mastered yet.
"It's nearly the end of term," I said. "Just exams and then its Spring Festival. You going home?"
