Numerous warnings to stop what he was doing screamed in Charlie's mind as he followed Haley and Miley through the long hallway of his father-in-law's house. The reasons why they shouldn't engage in a threesome piled up faster than his brain could process. To begin with, he didn't want to engage in intercourse with a woman other than his wife; Haley was his mother-in-law. Also, they all lived together - nothing good could come from a threesome, Charlie knew. It all seemed too much like a television soap opera drama which could only end in disaster, especially if Jack ever found out. One simple act of carnal pleasure could destroy the only family Miley had left.
Charlie wondered if the same warning alarms were ringing in Miley or Haley's head, but they seemed oblivious to the potential dangers as they walked hand-in-hand towards his and Miley's bedroom. Charlie understood Miley's oft-casual attitude towards all things sexual; she rarely concerned herself with any consequences, social or otherwise, of engaging in whatever kinky passions crossed her fancy. But a threesome with her step-mother was beyond the boundaries of acceptable, even for Miley, despite the fact Charlie sensed Miley wanted to have a threesome with Haley way back when they all first met.
From the moment they first became a couple Charlie had always succumbed to Miley's often wild sexual suggestions, unable to refuse her anything. He trusted her and that trust had led Charlie into numerous sexy situations which had provided a lifetime's worth of excitement and pleasure. But he always wondered if she would one day lead him down a sexual road he couldn't follow. Charlie finally had his answer.
"We can't do this," Charlie stopped just as the girls reached the bedroom door. "I mean - I can't do this."
Both Miley and Haley turned to his words with questioning glances towards his announcement.
"I already feel guilty enough about what we just did in the kitchen," Charlie told them, referring to the hand-job Miley had given him while Haley watched.
Haley tilted her head, "We're just having fun, Charlie."
"It would be like that time with Stacy," Miley added. "After prom, you remember? That was harmless, right?"
Charlie shook his head, "No, no that was different. Stacy wasn't married to your father; she was single. Also, you weren't pregnant and we weren't married."
Haley glanced down at the floor with a guilty expression.
Miley bit her lip.
Charlie looked to his wife, "Miley, I don't want to be with any other women. For my whole life you're the only girl I've ever wanted and that's never going to change. And even if that wasn't the case, we'd be betraying Jack - all three of us. I respect Jack too much to do that. I'm sorry, you guys. I just... I can't."
"God that's so sweet," Miley gushed, "But baby, I would never let you... you know, fuck her."
Haley glanced at Miley, "What?"
Charlie's eyebrows rose up his forehead.
"You can't have sex with my husband," Miley said in a tone which suggested that fact should have been obvious.
Haley exhaled sharply, "Isn't that the point of a threesome?"
Miley spread her hands in a wild gesture, "No! I figured we'd just fool around, you know? Maybe masturbate each other or something. You can't fuck him, Haley. Charlie promised me a long time ago that I would be the only woman he'd ever be inside."
Charlie grinned privately, happy to hear Miley remembered their high school vow of exclusivity. Outwardly he remained expressionless, "Um, I don't think we should do
anything
. We're making a mistake. Imagine how Jack would feel."
Both Haley and Miley looked to Charlie, guilt creeping onto Miley's expression.
Miley finally spoke. "You're right, Charlie. What was I thinking? This is all my fault. God, my hormones must be seriously out of control."
Charlie sympathized with his pregnant wife. He wasn't angry at Miley, or Haley. He simply didn't want them to make a mistake they'd later regret
"Would you two stop?" Haley sounded frustrated, "Jack doesn't care what I do, or who. Not anymore."
Charlie looked confused, "Huh? Why would he not care?"
Miley looked curious as well.
Haley let out a long, slow breath. She spoke in a reluctant tone, "Jack and I aren't exactly... active."
Charlie squinted.
Miley tilted her head.
"Sexually," Haley added for clarification.
"What are you talking about?" Miley pressed. "I saw you two just last night."
"That was the first time we've been together in months," Haley explained. "Since you moved in with us, actually. Which is why I was, you know, touching myself when you caught me watching last night. I've been unbelievably horny for weeks. So horny that I needed someone - anyone. Jack happened to be there."
"Wait a minute," Charlie interjected, "Why aren't you and Jack -? Did something happen between the two of you?"
Haley turned away, embarrassed.
Miley reached for her hand, "Haley, what happened? You can tell us."
Haley pressed her lips together and closed her eyes, struggling.
"Haley?" Charlie urged gently.
Haley took a deep breath, "We were planning on getting a divorce, but when Charlie had to leave and Miley moved in we decided it wasn't a good time."
"A divorce?" Charlie sounded surprised. "But you guys seem so happy?"
"We've been putting on a good front," Haley answered.
"I don't understand," Miley said. "Why would you two divorce?"
"I caught your father cheating on me," Haley finally admitted.
"No way," Miley's jaw hung open. "With who?!"
Haley winced, reluctant to say. She knew Miley wouldn't live without an answer, however. "Victoria," she finally answered, "Your mother."
"WHAT!?" Miley shrieked.
=====
Brian leaned against a wall in the lobby of Tallahassee's county courthouse wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, a Deadpool tee-shirt, and sneakers. He felt sorely underdressed amidst the bustling professionals in their suits. He had spent the entire morning there, waiting for Stacy's appearance before a judge. It had taken longer than he expected but bail had finally been set and Brian gladly paid it; he was waiting for Stacy to be released.
His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, breaking the monotony of people-watching. Brian saw it was Samantha and answered, "Hey, Sam."
"Hey," Samantha greeted. "What are you doing right now? Are you sitting?"
"No," Brian answered. "I'm, uh, standing in a courthouse, actually."
"A courthouse?" She sounded worried, "You didn't get arrested, did you?"
"No," Brian chuckled. "Stacy did. I'm just here to bail her out."
"Stacy got arrested?"
"Yeah, she punched a mall-cop."
"Why?"
Brian sighed, "Long story."
There was a pause on Samantha's end before she spoke, "So, are you guys back together now?"
"Not exactly, but short of calling her parents I don't think Stace has many people willing to help her out right now. I felt kind of obligated; especially since it was because of me she got arrested."
"Whatever," Sam replied. "I don't even want to know the details. I'm actually calling with some really good news."
"About the show?" Brian grew excited.
"Yeah. I've been texting with this executive at HBO all night and through this morning, trying to come to an agreement. We finally settled." Samantha paused for dramatic effect, "They've agreed to give you and Charlie full creative control over the scripts. You'll have veto-power on any story aspects, but you won't have any say in anything else. HBO's executive producers will decide on directors, the cast, and everything else. It would be thirteen episodes and they want to start shooting by next year."
"That's fine," Brian was grinning, "Charlie and I don't know shit about any of that, anyway. How much money are we talking about?"
Brian only heard silence. "Sam?" he said, wondering if they had been disconnected.
"Two and a half million dollars for the first season," Samantha stated flatly. "Four million for every season after if they decide to continue past the first. You'd also receive ten percent of all merchandising and DVD sales."
"Holy shit," Brian was suddenly having trouble breathing.
Samantha continued, "I haven't been able to reach Charlie. You should find him. The two of you need to talk it over and let me know by the end of the day if you want me to move forward with the contracts. I'll need to hire an attorney as soon as possible, if that's the case."
Brian nodded absently, as though in shock. "A-All right, I'll find him. I-I'm pretty sure he'll have no problems with that deal."
"Congratulations," Samantha spoke in a purely professional tone, "Captain Darkness has officially turned you and Charlie into millionaires."
=====
Jack loosened his tie as he sat at a wide mahogany desk to eat his lunch of Chinese take-out. One of the things he missed most about working from home was eating lunch on his own table, rather than out of a Styrofoam tray at a desk. Reaching into the take-out bag for a set of chopsticks and a package of soy sauce, Jack was startled when his office door burst open.
Miley looked furious as she stalked through the door.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Andrews," Jack's secretary pleaded, trailing Miley into the office. She was a hefty, middle-aged woman with dyed hair. "I asked her to wait, but -"
"I'm his daughter!" Miley fumed. "I'm not sitting outside and waiting for my own father!"
Jack lifted a hand, "It's okay, Susan. Hold all my calls, would you?"
Miley crossed her arms over her pregnant stomach and glared at the secretary as she left.
Jack regarded his daughter. She looked hastily dressed in a pair of pink cotton sweatpants, one of Charlie's tee-shirts, and a light jacket. Her wavy curls were pulled back into a wispy ponytail. "Hi, honey," he greeted. It was obvious Miley was angry, but Jack didn't have the first clue as to why. He offered, "Would you like some beef lo mein?"
