The razor grazed across her mons removing the stubble that had grown since the last time she had shaven. Her mind pondered what the previous day had uncovered and how she felt. She finished cleaning up all the while devising her next steps for Dave now that she uncovered his secret pleasure. To anyone not in Audrey's head the day started and progressed much like any other day. The family ate breakfast together then the kids went outside to play and enjoy the mild climate of the season. Audrey and I sat down again at the kitchen table. We both agreed that we had to find an alternative solution for going half monte like the previous day. Neither of us could come up with any really good ideas as we sat there. Unresolved on that issue we moved on to unpack the events from the previous day.
I knew the twenty questions were coming and I sat waiting as Audrey lined up her first question.
"When... how... what..."
She stumbled a bit but quickly composed herself and started the questions again.
"Let me start by saying, I know you like pussy."
She put out in the air cautiously.
"With that said, do you like men?"
She asked, again with a cautious tone.
"I don't like men."
Trying to respond in a reassuring tone.
"I do find some gay sex arousing though."
I told her, not sure how she would react to my answer.
"Hmmm, well when did your attraction to men start?"
She asked inquisitively.
"Well, I began to find it appealing as we went deeper into our sexual exploration. "
I responded.
"Okay, is it something you want to explore?"
She asked cautiously.
"You mean be with a guy?"
I countered back with a question to clarify what I was being asked to respond to.
"Yes, have sex with a man."
She said in a clear matter of fact tome.
"No, I'm not gay and I'm not looking for a romantic relationship with a man."
I responded trying to reassure her that my attraction was not to seek out a man.
"You don't have to be gay to want to have sex with another guy."
She told me.
"I know but I don't see guys that way."
I explained trying to get my point across.
"Okay"
She responded unconvinced by my previous responses.
"So where do we go from here?"
I asked not sure what the answer would be based on my response to her. She looked over at me and with a slight smile she said,
"We go wherever this fucking adventure takes us!"
She opened the laptop and selected a file from the desktop which loaded a variety of videos that were mainly femdom based with a male submissive that looked an awful lot like me. She told me that this was part of the researching she had been doing after dinner the previous night. By the time the family was finished eating, played round or two of uno, and finished with our nightly before bed rituals we were both so tired that we went straight to sleep. As most married couples who have 15 years under their belt will attest to, sex is no longer about quantity like it was in the beginning, but it evolves into a preference of quality. While there were times that both of us wanted more (never coinciding with the other of course) neither of us were willing to sacrifice the quality we had both become accustomed to for a quick fuck.
As we sat and rehashed the previous days "am I gay" discussion it seemed like Audrey was not opposed to my gay porn fetish and was instead very curious about its source. This was quite a relief for me as it signaled that I could openly explore that side of things with her without fear of being judged. This was a far cry different from where I expected things were going to go based on how we left off the previous day. Little did I know at the time, she had been planning the day's discussion to delve deeper into the subject than I expected. She was very intrigued by my responses and wanted to dig deeper to get a better understanding about where I thought my sexuality fell in the spectrum.
Although neither of us were fond of how society labeled people's behaviors and categorized them like a library book, we found it hard not to fall into that trap when exploring the subject in this particular context. Was I straight? Was I bisexual? Was I gay? Or did my sexuality fall into some other letter that had been adopted as part of the awareness movement. I really had no clue except that I was Dave. There was a large part of me that didn't want to fall outside of what was socially acceptable. As I was faced with all these possibilities, I had no idea how best to proceed other than to be authentic. I really could not understand why I could not just identify as human and ignore all the superficial subcategories I did not understand or feel I fit into. After some internal debate I told myself "Fuck it" and moved on with the label human.
Audrey began by asking me questions about what aroused me about same sex sexual acts. I took a couple minutes before I began explaining my feelings. Although I enjoyed watching same sex interactions in a porn context, I was not actively pursuing that type of sex for myself. I continued by explaining that I did not find arousal with all gay sex porn. My enjoyment in watching some men having sex was dependent in the context and the actors involved in the scene. I also explained that I did have an affinity to group sex scenes. I also expanded that to include male/male/female (MMF) porn scenes that involved forced bisexual interactions orchestrated by the female in the group. This surprised Audrey to some degree; I was not sure if it was the fact that I openly admitted that my interests included the MMF types of porn or if it was something else. Up until that moment we had only briefly discussed my interests in lesbian and shemale porn. Which I had just provided some very benign answers to my feelings about watching those types of porn and how it aroused me during previous conversations.
Up till when Audrey pushed played on her video montage, I had spent a lot of time refusing to watch gay porn. As I reflected on my refusal to watch gay porn but acceptance in watching shemale or trans porn, I realized that I had been hiding from it really, thinking about all the social stigmas that were attached to it and how those stigmas could potentially be applied to who I am. The ice had been broken on my hesitations once Audrey had fucked me in the ass with a 7-inch dildo. After that event life changed and all that flew out the window. Once I had come to terms with being fucked in the ass along with my enjoyment of it, I decided that my pleasure did not need to be labeled. Audrey was overly supportive of my exploration and even became a happy participant.
Her questions continued to come at me rapidly and I answered each one without sugar coating any of my answers. I felt the need to put all my cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. All though my interests were still developing, I knew they were nothing more than fantasies. I compare my developing interest in cock to wanting to own a Ferrari, everyone says they want to own one, but if given the opportunity, most people would rather just look at one in awe instead of dealing with the reality of ownership. I continued to express my though and feelings about what aroused me most.
"What is it exactly that you find most appealing about men?"
She asked.
"Well..."
I paused for a minute to formulate my answer before just blurting something out.
"I would say it's not so much the guy, I could care less about if they are cute or have a nice body. Instead, I find it to be about the size, shape, and look of his cock."
