Well here it was almost Valentine's Day...again. Jerome didn't have a date...again. His girlfriend Linda had broken up with him...again and always around the end of January. So why did he keep rekindling their obviously disastrous relationship? She was hot and the sex was magnificent, that's why. She'd dump him in late January, be totally cold to him until about April when she would start to warm up, then by July, things were hot again. She was as regular as the calendar! By October Jerome could feel her getting a bit chilly. Oh, occasionally there would be a hot night, but the next day, she wouldn't call him. They'd keep dating, movies, dinner but Linda would leave him falling flat on his face, well, until she was bored and wanted to go out. In December she would light up and Jerome would feel there might be hope after all; their relationship might have a new birth! Then, the New Year would start the cold trend until...
Jerome was frustrated. Some said he was stupid to keep going back with her when there were so many other women out there. He was also told, over and over again, a woman does not have to qualify as a centerfold girl to be beautiful. Linda could easily get some nude modeling jobs, she was damn near 'perfect', but the definition of 'perfect' is never the exact same to two people. Jerome liked what he had even though it meant another lonely Valentine's Day.
On his way to work one day, February 3, he realized it had been exactly one week since Linda snowed on his life, another blizzard. He was in a jovial mood none-the-less since, again, as predictable as the seasons so he KNEW it was coming (even if he always had that Christmas hope...every freaking year.). He walked into his OB/GYN office and was greeted by Ms. Larch, the receptionist. Ms. Larch was 57, exactly 10 years older than Jerome to the day. Both had been born on February 14th and oddly enough, they discovered that their mothers had grown up together. This was after he had hired her. Jerome was the youngest of 4 kids, Ms. Larch the oldest of 11. Ms. Larch's parents died of exhaustion. Mom at 68, Dad at 70. Thankfully Ms. Larch was old enough (46) to help look after the youngest who had just turned 18.
Ms. Larch only had 2 kids and vowed never to have more, come hell or high water and made sure of this by having her husband get snipped and she had her tubes tied. Sadly, her LATE husband saw being snipped as a golden opportunity to screw around without fear of pregnancy. He had a heart attack at age 45 in the midst of coitus with a stripper. Ms. Larch didn't really miss him. Well, sometimes she did.
Doctor Jerome Finkleman had a very thriving practice. He enjoyed the work and many of his friends would kid him about getting all that pussy, which he didn't 'get', just examined, but all those vaginas certainly made him appreciate them, not just for the pleasure they could bring, but just what they could do. He found them simply fascinating and had since he was a kid and saw his first one accidentally when one of his sister's friends was changing to go in their pool. He never forgot that. The vagina became a mystery to him and a mystery he swore he'd solve. It's what steered him into that particular field when he got to medical school.
Jerome had his first appointment of the day. It was a woman of 23 who he knew worked as a stripper in the only club in the area. Jerome rarely visited those places but always felt it was nice to see "fresh vagina" in a non-clinical setting now and then, just to remind him there was more to them than simply anatomical parts of the female of the species.
When Saundre showed up, Ms. Larch was a bit chilly towards her, told her to wait and the doctor would be with her soon.
"Is there time to use the little girl's room?" asked Saundre.
"Go ahead, I don't care. It's over there." Ms. Larch replied, very coolly and motioned towards the corridor to the right of the reception desk.
Saundre did use the bathroom and exited just as Jerome came looking for her. He brought her into an exam room and very politely asked her to undress from the waist down and he would be back, but first the nurse would be in to take her vitals. After the preliminary work was done Jerome reentered and began the exam. Saundre asked Dr. Finkleman if there was some reason the receptionist didn't like her and why was she so rude every time she had an appointment. Jerome, knowing the whole story with the last Mr. Larch's demise felt it really wasn't Saundre's business but, not being able to say THAT, he simply said, "I'm not really sure. To be honest, I think you may remind her of someone she knew as a kid, but really, she's normally very sweet. I'll talk to her."
Saundre was on the "B" team at the strip club. At thirty five, she still looked fantastic, but at 35, she was no longer "A" team material in the eyes of club owners. But, since she had worked at Le Club du Nude (a really horrible name) for about 12 years and was essentially the matron of the girls, the owner kept her around. Truth was, Saundre was also a writer and had actually had several mystery novels under the name "Elizabeth LeClerk" published. She just loved the thrill of teasing guys at the club and she liked the pocket change it brought her; $800/week. When she talked about it, she'd say, "Not bad for an old dame working part time, eh?" As good as she looked, it was her charm that made her most of the money, and plus the days shifts often brought the older guys who liked to avoid the younger, cruder guys and who preferred the more mature ladies. Thirty five was considered mature, forty, old. No one over forty worked there.
Jerome did all the usual examination routines and assured Saundre that she was as healthy as ever and there were no concerns. He asked if she had any and Saundre simply said, "Doctor, my vag is my money maker, ok, well these too," she said cupping her quite lovely, though fully covered breasts, "and I am always concerned about my vag."
"That's the start of the path of good vaginal health. Ok, I'll let you get dressed now. Did you want to make your next appointment now or wait?"
"I'll wait. I don't think I want to talk to that woman again just now." Meaning Ms. Larch.
Jerome said he understood and reiterated he would speak to her.
When Saundre left and the waiting area was clear, Jerome sat down with Ms. Larch. "So, Ms. Larch, you are a lovely and pleasant person. Everyone comments on how friendly you are." Ms. Larch just nodded, smiling a bit. "I was wondering if you could be that pleasant to ALL of our patients."
Ms. Larch thought for a moment and then asked, "Aren't I?"
Jerome very politely pointed out to the lack of pleasantness she always seemed to show Saundre, telling her he could understand why she might hold any resentment but making it clear that Saundre was not the girl who, as Ms. Larch would put it, 'killed' her husband. "She's a nice kid; cut her a break, will you?"
Ms. Larch squirreled up her face in thought. After a few seconds she said, "I will try. I know, SHE didn't kill my husband, but Doctor, she's 35, she should be doing something besides stripping and killing husbands."
"That wasn't her. I don't think Saundre killed anyone. Well, she's killed a few off in her books, but..."
"What books?" Shot back Ms. Larch in obvious surprise.
Jerome knew Saundre's secret (Saundre's ACTUAL name was Marybeth Stanford and it was all over her insurance forms, but everyone was so used to calling her Saundre...) and had promised not to blab. He immediately wanted to scamper off and hide but before he could, Ms. Larch grabbed his hand, "She WRITES? Writes what? Mysteries? I LOVE mysteries. You can't be serious. Strippers are not that bright. What's she written? If she's killed people in her books, she must write mysteries." And then Ms. Larch's mind went back to the reason for her initial dislike of Saundre and added, "or 'How To' books."
Jerome just rolled his eyes. "Ms. Larch, strippers are people. Not all are smart but far from all are stupid. What I mean is, it's like any other profession, you have smart, you have dumb, you...hell, I've met some doctors that could barely tie their own shoes. Didn't make them bad doctors per se, but, what I mean is..." He was rambling and he knew it.
"Be nice to Saundre, would you please?" and he got up to leave.
"But Doctor Finkleman, what does she write?"
"Children's books." And he went back into his office and closed the door.
The next day was February 7 and Jerome had only three appointments, 9 a.m., 1 p.m. and 4 p.m., lovely way to totally screw up a day with them so spaced out. Between the appointments he got caught up on paper work and at eleven o'clock he decided it would be his treat for lunch. He ordered Chinese for Ms. Larch, Mrs. Lincoln (the part-time retiree who helped keep the files in order), Julie and Shannon the RNs who worked for him, and of course himself. "No special occasion, just, well, shouldn't I treat you guys now and then? You keep this office working."
As he was leaving for the evening, Ms. Larch stopped Jerome and said that Saundre had called and wanted an appointment. Ms. Larch 'very politely' informed her that they were closing for the day but she could fit her in tomorrow at 3. "Would that work for you?" she had asked. So, Jerome would see Saundre twice in as many weeks and Ms. Larch did assure him she was as 'sweet as candy'. Then she asked again what Saundre wrote. Jerome thanked her, said he'd see her tomorrow and complimented on her politeness then, brushing off the question, hurried out the door.
As three o'clock approached, Jerome made a point of secretly hiding near the reception area to monitor Ms. Larch's behavior towards Saundre. Saundre came in and he watched as Ms. Larch looked up, studied the arrival and stood. "Well, WELCOME. How are we today? Glad you got her a little early. Doctor Finkleman is free since the last patient left about fifteen minutes ago. Please, have a seat and I'll just let him know you're here."
Saundre was torn between elation and suspicion. To herself she thought, "I wanted her more polite, but this is ridiculous. She's phony-ing it up for me. I just know it. What the hell is with this woman?" But Saundre just nodded and smiled and sat down.
Jerome came out and brought Saundre into an exam room and asked what was going on that she needed another appointment so soon. Saundre explained that the afternoon before she had placed a small sheepskin blanket on the stage intent on rubbing herself into it. However, she accidently stepped on it instead of OVER it and it slid causing her to slam her vagina onto the floor. "I finished the set, but it wasn't fun, believe me. I just want to see if there's any damage."
"Why didn't you just go to the emergency room?"
"Doctor, this is not something that I like to talk about with just anyone, you do understand, right? First off, it's kind of an intimate problem and secondly, it would be like you screwing up a birth. You would just prefer to discuss mistakes in your profession with as few people as possible. Do you get my meaning?"
"Yes, I guess I do," replied Jerome and he proceeded with the exam. Finding no real issues and since Saundre wasn't in any pain anymore (she had iced herself when she got home) he cleared her and sent her on her way.
