Noah woke to the sound of Mike snoring. It made his chest tighten with dread. Rachel shifted in his arms, the two nestled closely on the couch. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he did remember what happened before. Part of him hoped it hadn't happened, that it was all simply a dream. Noah peered through Rachel's bedroom door and saw Mike sprawled out on her bed, fully nude.
There it was, cold reality.
Noah's hatred and arousal intertwined. Mike had gotten to fuck Rachel, and Noah had sat back and watched while it happened.
There was more confusion than hatred at first. It was only when Noah grew aroused by the idea that he began to hate himself. This wasn't how things were supposed to go, things were meant to be different with Rachel.
Thoughts bled into emotion before slowly dissolving away as images of Rachel being fucked overtook Noah's mind. He could hear Rachel's moans, he could see the ecstasy on her face as Mike pounded her mercilessly.
Noah had filmed it. He'd nearly forgotten that part. He could watch it again if he wanted to.
Rachel stirred beneath him, her eyes opening as she gripped Noah's forearm and pulled it closer to her chest.
"Morning," She said softly.
"Morning," Noah said back gently.
"What time is it?" Rachel twirled around, burying her face into Noah's chest.
"Not sure," Noah replied. Rachel nodded her head, her hair tickling Noah's face.
Mike snored once more. Rachel froze before shooting up from the couch.
"Oh god..."
"What? Do you have class?" Noah asked.
"What? No..." She peered into her bedroom and covered her mouth when she saw Mike there.
"Oh my god." She looked back at Noah with terror in her eyes. "Did we?"
"You did," Noah confirmed, doing his best to sound nonchalant about it.
"So that wasn't a dream," Rachel said.
"No, it wasn't."
Rachel stared at Mike as he scratched his bare ass before letting out another deep snore.
"Jesus Christ," Rachel shook her head. She turned to Noah cautiously, her haphazard bedhead doing wonders to cut the tension.
"Are you mad?" Rachel asked.
"Not at all," Noah said, surprised at how quickly he was able to answer the question.
"Are you sure? It's ok if you are." Rachel was timid. Noah knew she was afraid he might have another meltdown. He smiled and placed a hand on Rachel's back.
"Really, it's alright. Mike might be a fuck boy, but he is also a good guy. Everything we did last night was above board." Noah's fingers trailed across Rachel's back as he spoke, and she placed her hand on his thigh in response.
"I can't believe I actually did that," Rachel said. The statement was surprisingly helpful for Noah to hear.
"How are you feeling about it? You two were pretty drunk last night," Noah said. Rachel was silent for a moment.
"I guess we were. That was kind of stupid, wasn't it?"
"I mean, I was there and pretty sober. I don't know... maybe."
"I liked it. Is that bad to say?"
"Not at all. I'd be worried if you didn't."
"Ok."
The room went silent again. Rachel continued to stare at Mike, but it didn't seem to be out of desire.
"What are you thinking about?" Noah asked.
"What Mike said last night, about you getting to sleep with other women," Rachel replied. Noah felt goosebumps rise on his skin.
"What about it?" Noah asked. Rachel shrugged.
"Feels a little unfair that I get to explore myself with other men and you only sit on the sidelines. It doesn't feel right."
"Well, I don't know about all that I..."
"How many women have you slept with before me?" Rachel asked. Noah froze.
"Why are you asking me that?"
"I'm the only one, aren't I?"
Noah opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly. That was all the response Rachel needed.
"Why do I get to spread my wings at college, but you only get to have me? It seems wrong... what Mike said makes sense."
"Is that something you actually want?" Noah asked. Rachel blew out a long breath and laughed uncomfortably.
"I don't know... I could get used to it." Rachel always smiled awkwardly when she was lying.
"Rachel..." Noah pressed.
"Fine, I don't want that. At all. It sounds like an absolute nightmare. Honestly, I don't know how you stomach it."
"It takes practice," Noah said, making Rachel laugh.
"Stop. That is exactly my point. You should have a chance to explore things just like me. Before we get older before we settle down. That's what college is meant for."
"Before we settle down?" Noah teased, it made Rachel blush.
"Yes, better to get it out of the way before we have kids don't you think?"
Noah's heart fluttered, Rachel had never brought up their future like this before.
"I guess you're right."
"So, now's the time to explore. I don't need you having a midlife crisis down the road." Rachel's tone was playful, but there was a very real edge to it.
"What if I don't want to?" Noah replied. Rachel raised an eyebrow.
"You're telling me you have no desire to be with other women whatsoever?"
Noah shifted uncomfortably.
"I don't know. I never really thought about it," He said quickly. Noah could feel his heart thumping in his chest. Discomfort, uncertainty, fear. All mixed together with one simple reality.
All he wanted was Rachel. It was all he ever wanted, and he didn't know if that was wrong.
"You should think about it," Rachel said.
"But what happens if it goes wrong?"
Rachel grabbed onto Noah's hand.
"For you, I would endure anything," Rachel said with a smile.
Mike shot up from Rachel's bed with a loud grunt. Noah and Rachel turned their attention to him.
"What the fuck?!" He shouted, scanning Rachel's bedroom in confusion. His eyes scanned across the floor towards Noah and Rachel, catching the pair's gaze.
"Hey," Noah said. Mike squinted his eyes.
"Where the fuck am I?" He asked.
"Rachel's place. You came home with us last night," Noah said. Rachel waved at him cautiously.
"Good morning, Mike," She said. Mike stared for a moment, his mouth hung open as his eyes slowly widened.
"Wait... did we fuck last night?" He asked.
"Well, you two did," Noah corrected. Mike smiled wildly as he let out a loud laugh.