Anticipation 38

I sat and waited for you today, my cup of coffee going cold and I read the same paragraph in my book about five times before I really saw the words. The hands of the clock seemed to have stopped and I checked my watch, oh so often. The minutes inched past as I gave up trying to read and watched the crowds instead, waiting to catch a glimpse of you, wondering if you would be early too, every face in the crowd scanned for yours. I thought I saw you at least five times, my heart beating faster, my stomach fluttering like it held a million butterflies, my chest tightening, only for it not to be you and the disappointment was agony.

The time crept towards the appointed hour, the hour we had arranged for our meeting, the clandestine messages containing hints and innocuous words that had a deeper, private meaning to us both. The messages had been enough to get my blood pounding in my veins, knowing that it was a secret that only we shared, my imagination running riot over what might happen when we met. I visualised the scene a thousand times as the minutes passed like ice-ages and seconds seemed to last forever.

I looked at the clock again, over the heads of the people passing by, busy in their own worlds, wondering if any could see the nervous anticipation in my face, reading my secret, but they walked past, ignoring me, busy with their own lives and talking into mobile phones, urgent voices hurling snatches of conversation my way. The hands of the clock read the appointed hour, the time arranged in those secret messages, when you said you would come to me.

My chest tightened as I thought I saw you in the throng, my breath catching in my throat as my heart felt like it stopped. My heart beat again, and my breath escaped in a near sob as I realised the figure wasn't you. I looked at my watch again, wondering if the clock was wrong. No, it was right, and you weren't here. The disappointment was enough to make my eyes misty as time speeded up again, minutes passing, tears forming, as it started to crush me. I caught myself before I could dissolve, wiping away the moistness in my eyes with a tissue as I made excuses for you. You were caught in traffic; you hadn't been able to leave on time, your boss calling you back as you were about to leave; anything other than you not wanting to be right here, right now, as you had promised me.

I tucked the tissue into my bag at my feet, and as I straightened, I saw a pair of feet standing next to me. My breath quickened again, and I straightened, my gaze sliding up from the feet to the face, your face. My heart beat faster, the noise and bustle around us seeming to disappear as you smiled at me. I smiled back at you, and in that instant everything was wonderful. We didn't speak, for the forbidden nature of our tryst was understood by us both and words would have broken the spell, brought reality crashing back in and forced us to deny ourselves what we so desired.

The fluttering butterflies in my stomach stirred once more, the excitement of being near you, the illicitness of this meeting making my head swim. You reached out your hand, and I took it, the feel of your skin on mine like an electric jolt up my arm, your warm fingers curling round to twine in mine as you gently pulled me up out of my seat towards you. I didn't resist, my eyes locked with yours as I rose, feeling hypnotised by your gaze, knowing I would do anything you asked of me. I wanted to kiss you, but I didn't dare in case you weren't real, that this was just another dream, as I had dreamed so often of this moment. You reached for my other hand and took it in yours as we stood facing each other. Your eyes were expressive enough for me to know what you were thinking, and mutely, you pulled me towards you.

Your lips met mine with the softest of touches, barely brushing over the skin and sending a delicious shiver down my spine, one of your hands releasing mine and moving to softly caress the back of my neck as your lips met mine again. I put my hand on your waist, feeling the heat of you through your clothes, my fingertips brushing over the material, caressing you through it. Your kiss became firmer then, pressing on my lips more, then breaking as you pulled away from me. I wondered what I had done wrong, till I realised that you were bending to pick up my bag from the floor, leading me away from the bustle of where we had met, the noise breaking through once more to assail our senses.

We walked hand in hand through the crowds who didn't see, didn't notice, didn't care that we were there, together, where we shouldn't be, out into the sunshine that had broken through the clouds, seemingly for us. It had rained hard earlier, and the rain had slicked everything so that it shone in the sunlight as we walked hand in hand. I neither knew nor cared where we were going, it only mattered that I was with you.

The city seemed beautiful to me now, Before you came it was a drab, depressing place where everything was grey and dull, but your touch, your kiss, your eyes looking deep into mine had changed all of that. Cars and busses passed us as we walked, splashing noisily through the puddles and forming a myriad of tiny rainbows in the sunlight, jewelled droplets falling back to the ground to be hurled again into colour by another passing vehicle. My excitement rose, the anticipation for what was to come making me feel like I was walking on air, as light as the breeze that played on our joined hands, the slight chill contrasting with the warmth of your skin on mine.

How I ached for you in those moments, my whole body wanted to press against you right there, right then, but I followed where you led, your steps and mine hurried by long-since promised forbidden things. It seemed like miles to my beating heart, my fluttering butterflies, but the journey was short, just a few hundred yards you led me, to the steps of a hotel. My heart quickened and my excitement rose to new heights as you led me up the steps and into the plush foyer. You had already booked us in and you led me past the receptionist who glanced up at us and smiled. I wondered if she could see the mixture of excitement and guilt that I felt was written all over my face, but she went back to what she was doing without glancing up at us again as you led me trembling towards the lift.

I stood close to you as we waited for the lift to come and looked up into your eyes as you smiled down on me. My legs nearly gave way then and I felt dizzy, only your hand keeping me steady as the lift doors opened. We stepped into it and you pressed for the floor we were headed to, and as the doors closed, you turned to me, took me in your arms and kissed me, a hot passionate kiss, your tongue searching for a way into my mouth and my lips parted.

The doors opened all too soon and we broke apart. You took my hand again and led me out along the hall, opening a room door and allowing me to enter first, followed me in, closed the door and leant on it, looking at me. You stood there for what seemed like an eternity, your hands behind you on the doorknob as I looked at you. My excitement had got to a point where I couldn't speak, couldn't move, and you moved to me, wrapping me in your arms, crushing your lips and your body against mine. Your lips felt like fire and I wanted to melt into them, your kiss driving me wild, becoming more and more urgent and I responded with my own pent-up desire.

Your hands, which had been pressing me to you started moving then, stroking up and down my back, raising another shiver as I felt them pressing on me through my clothes. I dragged my nails accross your back then, gently but firmly, feeling the material of your jacket bunching under them as they dragged downwards. I moved my hands so they were under your jacket, running them up to your shoulder blades and curling my fingers over your shoulders. I slid them back down again, feeling the slight perspiration already on your back as it dampened your shirt down your spine and the feel of it made my kisses more urgent.

I helped you as you shrugged out of your jacket and let it fall to the floor, mine swiftly joining it and kicking our shoes off as we continued to kiss. I undid your shirt buttons one by one, slowly, until there were none left and I had to pull your shirt from your waistband for the last couple, but soon your chest was bared to me and I pressed myself to it. I broke the kiss and bent my head to your chest, inhaling the scent of you as I kissed your skin lightly. Some of the urgency had gone from us as we knew we were alone and had the rest of the day to explore each other, the first thrill of our forbidden love sated with that kiss. We had waited for so long for that moment, and I wanted it to last forever, while still wanting more.

You wrapped me in your arms as we stood there, your chin rested lightly on my head and I savoured our closeness. Breaking the embrace, you pushed me away from you so gently as you moved to unbutton my blouse. I felt your fingers as they brushed against the swell of my breasts while you fumbled with the buttons, your fingers trembling as you undid them. I rubbed my hands up your arms to the short sleeves of your shirt, pushing them up to your shoulders, a light and soft touch just skimming your skin and feeling the hairs brush against my palm. It was a delicious sensation coupled with your fingers moving down, undoing my buttons and I arched my back a little, pushing my still-fluttering stomach to touch your fingers and I felt my nipples stiffen inside my lacy bra, the slight roughness brushing their tips as they hardened.

You stooped then, lowering your face to kiss my lips, my chin, my neck and moving down to the prominence of my collarbone. You had finished with my buttons by then, the last one coming undone as you bent to kiss me, and you ran your fingers up my skin, agitating the butterflies more and making my skin flutter under your touch. Your hands came together between the swell of my breasts, then moved up to my shoulders, freeing them of my blouse and I lowered my arms and let it drop to join my jacket. Your hands stayed on my shoulders as you stooped lower, kissing the flesh left exposed by the removal of my blouse. I wanted to remove your shirt then, but I didn't want to move, to disturb you in what you were doing and I let you continue, your kisses moving to the edge of my bra, the lace brushing against your bottom lip.

I leaned back slightly then, and a soft moan escaped me as I felt the tip of your tongue caress my skin, sliding along the edge of my bra, through the dip between and over to the other breast, alternating with gentle, sucking kisses. It felt delicious, your hot tongue on me and I revelled in the sensation of it moving over my flesh, the trail left by it chilled slightly as your breath, the contrast raising gooseflesh and I moved one hand to stroke your hair as you tasted me.

My gentle hand on your head, brushing down to your neck and inside your collar seemed to remind you of your shirt, and you shrugged out of it, your hands leaving my shoulders to free themselves from the material then coming back to slide around my waist, your tongue and lips never leaving my breasts. The feel of my back, heated by my passion seemed to rouse you from your licking and kissing then and you trailed your embraces back up my neck to fasten them once more on my lips, pulling me to you, my flesh against your flesh, my nipples straining against their fetters to press against you.

We stayed like that for a long moment, your hands rubbing my back, sliding down to the swell of my hips over the material of my trousers, and back up again, my hands, one on your back, one on your neck, exploring every inch of your naked flesh that I could. Our lips were hungry and we devoured each other with unimaginable passion, born of restraint, now unleashed to our own desires. Your hand moved down again, but this time didn't stop at my hip as you covered the curve of my buttock with your hand, your fingers curling slightly to grasp it gently, and your arousal deepened then. I followed your lead and slid my hand down your back to glide over your trousers, down to the firmness of your bunched muscle.

Pulled close to each other like that, I could feel the taughtness of your skin against mine, the ridge of your zip pressed into me by your arousal and I drew myself as close as I could, moving my hips slightly to feel your hardness move against me, quickening my breathing. Your hand tightened, clenching, material bunching in your fingers and pulling deliciously taught between my legs. My nails dug into your trousers as my fingers clutched at you, the material seeming to roughen as my senses heightened. I wanted so much at that moment to have your bare skin under my hand and I pulled away from you slightly, my hand releasing the material of your trousers and sliding up to trail across your stomach, sliding between our bodies. My fingers slid under your waistband behind the button, the tips of them brushing against the hardness they encountered, the thumb moving to undo the top button, sliding lower, your soft cotton shorts being pressed into the backs of my fingers by your desire as I eased the zip downwards.

I peeled the material of your trousers away from you. My hand ran round your waist and eased them over your hips. You pulled away from me then, gently though, to help with the removal of the last of your outer garments, sliding your feet out of your socks as you bent to ease your legs from your trousers. You stood before me then, neither of us touching the other, dressed only in your shorts with your hardness pressing towards me, straining for release against them. You bent your head to my breasts again then, your hands returning to my waist and you kissed the swell of my flesh as my hands slid over your shoulder blades and my fingers traced the line of your spine. Your thumbs curved in to my stomach as you eased your hands round to join them, your palms flat on my skin, dragging the delicious heat of your hands over me.

Your kisses moved once more to the cleft between my breasts, then slowly, oh so slowly, moved down, light and soft, hot and moist, trailing down to my navel, your tongue pausing to probe into it and sending the butterflies inside me into a panic of movement. You slid your fingers inside my waistband, as I had done to you, and released the button on my trousers with one hand, using the other to trail a finger down the still-closed zip, stopping short of the place I wanted you to touch, moving back up, then down again, this time taking the zip with them. You eased me out of my trousers and knelt in our discarded clothes to lick and kiss the skin revealed below my navel, the lace on my underwear matching that of my bra, and you paid it the same attention, trailing kisses across my belly as I ran my fingers through your hair, your hands on the backs of my thighs.

I wanted you to kiss lower, to trail your moist tongue to join the wetness that slicked my underwear, but you didn't. Instead you trailed your kisses back up my body, your arms encircling my waist once more as you stood, the hair on your thighs deliciously tickling my legs as you stood to kiss me on the lips once more, a hungry kiss this time rather than the light attentions you had paid to my body.

You moved suddenly, one hand releasing me as you bent to scoop my legs up, and you carried me over to the waiting bed, my arms still circled round your neck, our kiss only breaking as you swept me off my feet, tongues and lips twining hungrily again when I was in your arms. I realised suddenly as you laid me tenderly on the covers that we had hardly moved from the spot where we first kissed until that moment. You stood there looking at me, your eyes seeming to devour me as I lay there, my hands behind my head, my hair fanning out over the pillows where I had pulled it up with my arms. I smiled at you and you took it as the unspoken invitation that it was, to bend and kiss me.

The heat of your kiss, your soft lips pressed deliciously against mine, aroused me more and I reached for your near-naked body, pulling you towards me. I slid myself over the bed, moving to give you room to lie beside me, the material cool under my hot skin and you eased yourself onto the space I had vacated, the heat from my body trapped in the material caressing your skin. I turned my body towards you as you lay on your side, dragging my foot lightly up your leg to the back of your knee, my thigh brushing against yours as my leg wrapped round yours, my hand coming down from the pillow to caress your shoulder again as you took my other hand in yours, trapping my fingers between yours, holding me there gently. Your other hand settled on my waist, fingers caressing into my soft flesh as you pulled me to you, your hardness still trapped in it's cotton prison brushing against the lace of my underwear before being pressed against my belly,

We lay like that, pressed together, our kisses telling of our desire and spurring our hands into movement. You slid your hand down over my hips, exploring the combination of lace and skin with your fingers, and pushed me away from you gently. Our bodies parted and I lay there, legs slightly apart, inviting you and you took the invitation, running your fingers over the lace of my underwear, sliding them towards the centre, running them down the silky material to feel my wetness. Oh yes, I was wet for you, wanting you, needing you, your kisses, your soft caresses making me want you. I kissed you deeper then, hard kisses, my desire pouring from me into you, infecting you, making you want me more than you had before.

I let you run your hands over me, exploring my skin, easing themselves under the fabric of my underwear, touching those forbidden places. I wanted to tell you to stop, but I didn't. I wanted you to go on exploring, your hot hands on my flesh, your breathing ragged against my skin. I lost track of time as your hands explored, your mind filling in what your fingers touched. Your touch excited me, made me want you, made you want me, our desire rising with every moment. You looked me in the eye as our kiss broke and we looked at each other, knowing the illicit pleasure we shared, knowing how wrong it was, wanting it all the same, wanting it all the more.

I rolled you onto your back and eased your shorts over your hips then, sliding them over your skin as you lay there, raising your hips to allow me to bare you naked to my gaze. Your hard prick lay rigid on your belly, pointing at your navel, and I straddled you, still in my underwear, sliding myself to sit on your thighs, the base of your prick an inch from my wet underwear. Your lust overtook you then and you sat up, wrapping your arms around me again, pulling me hungrily into another hot, hard kiss, as your hands undid my bra and I shrugged out of it, tugging it from between us to throw it on the floor, your lust infecting me. I wanted to take things slower, but I couldn't. I gave in to the lust and you felt the hungry change in me as I slid myself up to press my clit against your prick through my slick underwear, slicked by my lust for you, and I rubbed against you, a soft moan escaping me as the sensation of you against me tingled up my spine and electrified our kiss.

Knowing that I shouldn't made it hotter, made me wetter, made you push against me as I ground against you sending me dizzy as your hands moved down my back and slid under the waistband of my thong. You started to ease it down, feeling my buttocks clench as I pressed against you more, the feel of your hands making me want you, need you, lust for the feel of you inside me, and I moved swiftly off you to help you free me from my wet underwear, the material peeling off my slit as the moisture made it cling to me. You discarded the flimsy garment, dropping it over the edge of the bed to the floor, then pulled me to sit astride you once more, our lust casting aside the thoughts I had of wrapping my mouth round your prick as my need for you inside me consumed me.