Aaaand It's Not Just a Dream

I know I'm dreaming but it feels so close, so honest. I know it wasn't exactly like this but this, this is as close as I can get without the pain of the truth.

I don't know when it started, a party somewhere. I think Lisa dragged me to the first one. We'd just been goofing off, driving aimlessly when we saw the parking lot of cars on our friend Mike's lawn.

We pulled in just to see what's going on. We found Mike and he explained how his high school reunion had ended up continuing in his house and backyard. We wandered around together, scoping out the guys, which we always did, and when Lisa found one, I wandered alone out to my favorite spot in Mike's backyard, the gazebo.

I was surprised to find someone there already. From the back, he was huge. Tall, broad shouldered, wide chest, tapering down to slim hips, nice butt, strong legs ending in worn cowboy boots. I cleared my throat, hoping he wasn't the skittish type. He turned, adding a handsome face to the mix.

"Hi. Mind if I join you?" I asked, setting my drink on the railing.

"Not at all. Where'd you come from?" His voice was deep and warm. In the colored lights, I could see his face, strong jaw, chiseled cheekbones, deep, dark eyes.

"My girlfriend dragged me along."

"Girlfriend?"

"Oh, not like that." I grinned, taking a sip of my drink. "My friend Lisa loves coming to parties at Mike's. She finds a new boyfriend every time she's here. Me, she drags me along until she finds him."

"And you're not looking for a boyfriend?" His voice was deep and smooth with just a hint of country boy accent.

"Not particularly." I turned away from him to gaze out on the pond behind the gazebo. "I guess I'm not as 'man-hungry' as she is."

"Bad experience?"

"You could say that." I answered, knowing that 'bad' was actually horrific. I saw him sip at his beer from the corner of my eye. I could hear Mike's music change from the hard, thumping rock and roll to a slower, 'snuggle' song, as my friends and I called it. "How do you know Mike?"

"My bassist, Charlie, went to school with him. Charlie called me up, dragged me along to the after party. He's probably the one your friend, Lisa, picked up. He's the pretty one in the band."

"You have a band?" I asked, turning to look at him closer.

"Yeah." I stepped closer to him, gazing into his face, trying to place it, when it hit me.

"Oh my. You're Kian Mc Daniels."

"Yes, I am." He smiled his trademark smile. I felt my heart hit the floor.

"My name's Dari. Dari St. Michel. It's nice to meet you." I held out my hand. He took it, brought it to his lips, and kissed it.

"My pleasure, Dari. With Charlie around, I never get to meet beautiful women." I could see his dark eyes sparkle with mischief. "Would you like to dance?" He asked, standing.

I set my drink on the railing again, letting him slip me into his arms. I slid my hands over his broad chest, settling on his shoulders. He was swaying us to the rhythm of the 'snuggle' song, holding me closer than anyone else has in the last three years. I felt no fear, no urge to run away from him.

Kian has been my dream lover since I was seventeen, since his first recorded song. I didn't, couldn't think of anything but him. I breathed in his scent, woodsy and fresh, reminding me of spring meadows. I rested my cheek against his chest, enjoying the solidity of him. His hands slid slowly up and down my spine, resting on the swell of my ass. I felt him rest his cheek against my forehead, almost enfolding me completely.

For the first time in three years, I felt safe, protected, wanted. Another 'snuggle' song started, we continued to sway gently. Tentatively, I slid my fingers into his hair, feeling its silken texture. He used a fingertip under my chin to lift my face to his. His lips just barely touched mine, setting off fireworks through my body. Slowly, he deepened the kiss, tracing my lips with his tongue, swallowing my sigh when I opened my lips. He explored my mouth, teased my tongue into tangling with his, and drowned me in a passionate lingering.

I felt one of his hands cup the back of my head, his other at the small of my back, pulling me close against him. I felt my breasts press against his chest, felt his hardness against my lower belly. I felt myself falling, hard.

"Geez, why is it every time I come down here, this spot is always taken?" I heard Lisa's voice whine drunkenly. I pulled back, away from him. He pulled me back, feeling my tremors.

"Ssshhh. Nothing's going to hurt you. I won't let it." I heard him whisper, gently stroking my spine. I heard Lisa and her beau of the moment stumble past, headed for the pond.

I could barely hold on, his voice soothing me, calming me. I let him. I buried my face into his shoulder, listening to Lisa's drunken giggles, hearing his voice, feeling his voice, like his hands, stroking gently. I don't think he actually was speaking, just kind of humming along with the song. I lifted my eyes to his face, seeing a concerned look in his eyes.

"You alright?"

"I think so." His brown eyes captured me. I saw his concern, his tenderness, his wanting of me. "Thanks."

"It wasn't a bad experience was it? It was fucking awful wasn't it?"

"Yes. Yes, it was."

"I'm not sure what to do, what to say..." He began. I stopped him with my fingertip to his lips.

"There isn't anything you can say. Therapy has been working but talking is all it's been." I said, wishing my stepfather Mark dead, yet again. "Three years of therapy has made it bearable. I'm just beginning to trust again, my friends, my sisters, myself. It isn't easy. You're the first man I've been alone with in three years. The first I've let kiss me." I dragged a ragged breath in, let my forehead drop to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He said after a while. His arms circled me, enfolded me in him. I found myself safe again, protected again. "Such bravery. What you went through, how you protected your sisters. You have no idea how strong you are, do you?"

"No. I'm sure I don't. How do you...?"

"You just shared it with me. This is your dream and you just showed me your stepfather and what he did."

"It's never really over. I've been feeling like I'm going through the motions."

"This too will pass, Dari. I wish I was in town more than just tonight."

"Me too." I whispered against his shirt. I was wishing I could just go with him. Pack a bag, say fuck it to my dead end job, and just go with him. A Pipe dream, a long standing pipe dream. In my mind I could hear Marissa, my therapist, telling me to let go, to flow along with this, with these emotions.

I snuggled closer to him, snuggling my face into his shirt. His hands gently stroked as we swayed still, stroking an ember buried deep inside me, an ember that Mark hadn't been able to extinguish. Kian wasn't pushing me to do anything, just holding me, and almost cradling me, a protective person, not a destructive one. I could feel a wall inside me crumbling, falling.

I looked up at him. His eyes were shadowed but I could tell they were kind and encouraging, patient. I trailed my fingertip along the side of his face to his mouth. I traced his lips faintly. I rose on my toes and pressed my lips to his, used my tongue against his.

I felt him pull me tight against him as our kiss blew the charts away. I think I was trying to crawl inside him during that kiss. When we finally unglued our lip lock, our breaths were meshing, heated pants. Our eyes were locked, his hot but patient, mine were dazed and amazed.

"It's okay." He whispered.

"Yes." I was totally lost in him, in this precious moment of complete trust. I hadn't felt anything like this in such a long time. I think Kian knew that too.

"Hey, where's the closest beach? And I mean, ocean beach." He asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Ummm," 'Wait, what?' "I think it's about twenty, twenty-five minutes away. You want to go to the beach?"

"Yeah, I do. Ever since the first time I saw the ocean, I feel a need to breathe there. I can smell the salt, that ocean smell. Care to join me?" he smiled.

"Sure. The beach is my favorite place. It's a great night for it too."

"Well, let's go." He slung his arm around my shoulders and guided me back through the house, where I let Lisa know where I was going, which she probably wouldn't remember anyway, and out to the road.

"So, which one's yours?" I asked. He grinned, put his fingers in his mouth and whistled, extremely loudly, piercingly. Seconds later, two headlights flooded the road, a stretch limo stopped beside us.

"Your carriage, my lady." His grin was infectious. I laughed. I climbed inside, settled on the fine leather, took in the amazing interior. Multi-colored neon highlighted and shimmered over the ceiling, delicate optical flowers sparkled on the bar.

Kian sat beside me, resting his hand on my knee. His warmth speared through me, setting off explosions of want, need and fearfulness. Marissa had said that only went away when I could let it go. "Hey Freddie...we're goin' to the beach."

"Which beach in particular, sir?"

"Wedgewood." I answered. I sat forward, noticing the dancing neon at my feet.

A kajillion questions roared through my head, but the one I caught was, what the blue hell is going on? I looked over my shoulder. Kian's gaze fell on my shoulder, travelled down my back and back to my face. I saw his want, his need, and hope, which staggered me. He slid his hand up to cup my face, guide me to him. I turned, letting him pull me ever so gently to him, melting against him. Face to face, close enough to taste, we read each other's eyes, allowed our souls to meet, touch.

"One night is not going to be enough." He sighed.

"I know." I sighed back, letting my lips take his in little nips, teasing his tongue to come out and play. My hand explored his chest, his shoulder, learning his hard planes. I caressed his neck, felt his pulse fast and strong, felt his hum of pleasure. He shifted; I climbed on his lap, straddling him. His hands slid from my hips, up my back, kneading little spots, trailing lightly on others, setting my body afire.

I couldn't stop myself, my body from responding, from rubbing into him. He kneaded the muscles in my shoulders, rolling my shoulders back, rolling my breasts into range of his mouth. Kian latched onto a nipple, sucking hard. I braced myself on the top of the back seat, panting, enthralled with these sensations overloading me. He rolled my nipple in his teeth, nipping through the light tee I was wearing.

His other hand kneaded my ass cheek, guiding my squirming puss tight to his hardness, rubbing hard on his whole length, heating the Dockers he wore. I felt the swaying of the limo as it slipped into a turn, felt him pushing up against me, and felt thrilling pulls in my loins with every nibble at my breasts.

I let this wantonness loose, flowing through me, riding this wave of pleasure. I felt a challenge rise in me, gazed into his deep dark eyes, knew all I had to do was ask. He slid my tee shirt up, baring me to his mouth, his hands.

"You're amazing. Mmmm, so sweet." His mouth assaulted my neck, my ears, my mouth intensely, strained passion like he was afraid he'd scare me. His hands slid into my hair, cradling my head, positioning me where he wanted me. "Look at me..." I raised my eyes to his, felt that challenge rise in them, watched him see it and saw his acceptance, felt the thrill of anticipation zing through me. "See me... just me..." his voice a husky whisper, "feel me beneath you...mmm, I want to be inside you."

His fingers slid under my skirt, trailed lightly along the hem of my panties to my ass, barely brushing my pulsating puss, setting my body ablaze. His mouth captured mine, boosting this wash of pleasure showering through me. I moaned into his mouth as his talented fingers built a bonfire between my thighs, sliding my wetness all over, dipping in just enough to make me gasp, clamping my muscles on his fingers, turning my moan to a groan.

"One night is not going to be enough..." he said again, between hot kisses. I slid a hand between us, managed to unbutton and unzip his Dockers, felt the ridges along his shaft, the strong rim around his head, his turgidity. I felt my mouth water, thinking about sliding my lips around him, down him. I felt him rumble a groan as I stroked him softly, grinned against his lips and felt him grinning back.

He slid his arms around me, capturing me, stilling me, gazing in my eyes. I gazed down at him, watching him carefully, feeling the limo slowing down, swaying into another turn, slowing even more, knowing we were almost at the beach. I slid my arms around his neck, gently kissed him, slid beside him, readjusting my clothes, wondering at this beaming feeling blazing through me, knowing that this man, wants me, passionately.

Kian opened the door almost as soon as the limo came to a stop, gently leading me out, leading me slowly up the path, through the dunes. The crash and boom grew louder as we got closer. He held my hand as we walked down to the breaking surf, into the sea.

We stood face to face, ankle deep in the Atlantic, holding hands, gazing hopefully at each other. In the silvery moonlight, he was a Grecian statue come to life. I'd always known he was handsome, but this masculine beauty bowled me over.

"Will you come with me in the morning? Join me on tour? As long as you'd like. Please. There's so much more I want with you." I didn't think, I just answered.

"Yes. I'd really like to go with you." His smile warmed my heart, my soul. He picked me up in a bear hug, spun us around, laughing. He set me on my feet, danced me through a spin and dip, holding me close kissing me deeply in the dip. "This makes you this happy?"

"Yes. It does. We'll go deeper, later on, but it makes me very happy." He bundled me under his arm, snuggling me there as we waded through the surf. "I'm lonesome. I'm losing that gratefulness that I know I should have for my fans, my teams. I'm tired of being alone in a room full of people. I want to spend some time with someone special who not only has that chemistry, but snares my brain as well, makes me think about her. So far, I can't stop thinking about you."

"I think I like that. You thinking about me." I lagged a little behind, pulling him to a stop, turning him to me, sliding into his embrace, sliding my arms around his neck, kissing him soundly.

The ocean air whipped my hair around us, whipped us both into a froth of want and need. I pulled away, smiling, turned, peeked over my shoulder, splashed him, ran away laughing. He chased me, laughing, caught me, laughing still, kissed me brainless. We played in the surf, splashing, kissing and dancing in the moonlight, like teenagers in love for the first time in the hot summer time.

The hunger was rising in me, with every touch, with every deepening kiss. I felt sand at my back, felt him above me, his hardness wedged tight and hot against my own blazing quim. I felt my own purr answered in the rumble in his chest on mine. Making out in the sand, humping and grinding against each other, rolling over with gasps and groans.

His mouth latched onto my nipple again, sensitive enough to make me groan aloud, feeling those pulls deep in my core. His hand kneaded my other breast in time with the sucking and nibbling of his amazing mouth. All I could do was skim my hands over him, his shoulders, through his thick hair, feeling him throbbing beneath me, mewling in need.

"Mmmm, I hear you." he mumbled against my breast, his tongue lapping over my nipple, sending a delicious shudder through my body. "Tell me what you want."

"Don't ever stop." I breathed out, feeling his hands sliding over my shoulders and down my back, feeling myself writhing against his hard body. "Keep touching me. Oh, mmmm."

"Tell me." He groaned, grinding hard up into my heat as his big hands kneaded my squirming ass. "Tell me you want me inside you."

"Oh, I do. I want to feel you...mmm, so deep..." I gasped into his mouth, nipping gently at his bottom lip. "I want to feel you deep and throbbing into me." In a blink, he'd rolled us over again, his hips humping hard and fast against my crotch. I could almost hear my quim squishing with every pump of his hips.

"I bet if I slid my finger into you," he said softly, "You'd cum for me...and hard too." I could feel his smile against my mouth as he devoured me again.

"Mmm, I know I would." I moaned back, feeling his hand back at my breast, back on the super sensitive nipple. My hands gripped his shirt in tight fists as I writhed beneath him, pulling myself even tighter against him.

"Tell me..."

"...how much I'd love your...mmm, incredibly talented mouth...oh, oooh, my yes..." I groaned between intensely passionate kisses.

"...mmm, and where do you want my incredibly talented mouth? ...hmmm? Do you want it here..." he humped slowly, rubbing the entire rock solid length and girth through my still clothed cunt. "...where I'm humping you?"

"Oh, dear god, yes." I moaned, threading my fingers through his hair, down over his shoulders, using my legs against his to add leverage to my squirmings.

"I want to taste you now." He growled, curling his hand around my thigh, sliding into my shorts, past the soaked scrap of panty and along my juicy slit. "Oh, you're so very wet. Mmmm, so slick." Slowly, he dipped a finger into me, watching me, swallowing my gasp as he dipped a second one. "I think..." he began, sliding his fingers in and out of my sodden cunt, watching the flush rising in my cheeks as he drove me over the edge. "...mmm, yessss...cum for me..."

I clung to him, still humping against his fingers, as my back arched and bucked through my first orgasm, feeling his hand get soaked with my cum.

"I can feel you quivering on my fingers still." He whispered in my ear, slowing his fingers. "I want to feel you quivering and clamping down on my cock. Think we can do it sand free?"

"...nope..." I purred against the base of his throat, savoring that mind blowing intensity of pleasure that had just exploded through me. I cracked my eyelids, seeing him smiling down at me in the moonlight. "Thank you." I purred blissfully, making his smile widen even more.

"You're welcome. I think we should probably head back to my bus to continue this...in depth..." he stroked his fingers inside me, deep and quick, bringing on an aftergasm wave that shuddered through me. I watched through half lidded eyes as he brought his fingers first to his nose to sniff, then into his mouth to suck clean with a purr of satisfaction. "Mmmm, now I'm really gonna want to eat you."

"I hope I survive." I growled rubbing slowly against his still throbbing cock, hearing his answering groan. I felt him shifting his legs, sliding his arms around me, curling me into him as he rose to his knees. I slid my feet into the sand, already feeling a definite wobble, a quivering in my legs. I savored his heat, pressed tight against me, from breast to thigh.

"I know you will." He said, rising to his feet, sliding me down

his body slowly, his hands cupping my ass, holding me still against his hardness. His mouth captured mine once more, possessing me completely. I barely felt the sand beneath my feet as he carried me toward the still waiting limo.

Beside the limo he pressed me against its side, his mouth driving me wild, his hips humping rhythmically into my growing heat. Gasping and groaning into his mouth as he rocked the limo on its springs.

"Dear god..." He groaned, holding completely still, breathing harshly, mumbling under his breath, throbbing madly between my thighs. I panted along with him, my breath rushing in and out, raising my eyes to his, seeing his pained look, seeing him deny himself with the utmost of self-control.