I had agreed to meet him, still not fully trusting my own judgement, being big, in my eyes had always counted against me and I was always the first in with the fat jokes, a defence mechanism I had grown to hate.
The logistics of getting away for the day had been a nightmare, but it was all organised and should go without a hitch, the family back to its status quo by the end of the day.
My phone had been going non stop with messages. Every hour one came through telling me how much he was looking forward to it. He professed to adore women with curves, folds of stomach drove him nuts, he told me. He couldn't wait to get hold of me, to sink his fingers into my flesh. In the end I am not sure if it was flattery or curiosity that led to me saying yes, to see what drove men like this to desire women like me.
We met on neutral territory, giving me room to make my excuses and leave if necessary. The bar was almost empty and he rose as I entered the room, smiling from ear to ear and looking me up and down.
"Hello, can I get you a drink?" He said.
"Yes please, an orange juice." I replied, desperately wanting something stronger.
He made his way to the bar and I watched him as he went. Older than me but not by much, his hair greying but all in all, in good shape. I stopped myself suddenly, I was in no position to criticise anyone. I turned my head away.
**
Standing at the bar, he gave the order and turned to look at her. She was conscious of her size trying hard to melt into a corner and not get in anyones way. He had spent almost three months talking to her, trying to persuade her to meet him, telling her how sexy he found her, she had the most lovely face and looked younger than she actually was. He could not wait to see what she was like under her clothes. He picked up the drinks and made his way back to the bar.
"Here you go," he said, putting her drink in front of her and sitting down.
"Thank you," She answered quietly, smiling nervously.
**
Small talk passed between us and I started to relax and become the way we were on the phone and online to each other. The jokes made, the laughter slowly starting to flow. He was actually very sweet and I could see what originally drew me to him. His eyes never stopped moving over me, my face, what he could see of my body. I watched the watcher, fascinated.
I finished my drink and sat while he finished his. Putting his glass down, he stood and held out his hand, automatically I stood and took it. Blushing, I smiled as he tightened his grip. We walked out of the pub and over to the hotel next door, he had obviously already checked in because he led me through the door and up the stairs, stopping outside the room door.
**
Her hands were shaking as I walked her to the room I had booked. She was so nervous I had to wonder if she had really done this before as she had professed to have done. I wracked my brains to think how I could put her at her ease as I unlocked the door. Taking her hand again, I led her into the room and to the bed.
She stood and looked at me. Suddenly looking as though she was ready to bolt. I took both of her hands in mind and gentled her.
"Its ok, you are allowed to be nervous," I smiled.
"Does it show that much?" she replied.
"Just a little, don't worry." I answered her and kissed her gently. She responded immediately and I pulled her into me, feeling her squash against me. Sliding my hands around her, I grabbed a handful of each of her ass cheeks and gave them a squeeze. She broke away yelping and giggling, her cheeks reddening again. I laughed.
"By the gods you have the fattest, sexiest arse I have ever seen"
"Well fat is right," she said almost scathingly.
"OK, now listen, you can be as embarrassed as you want but I don't want to hear that again, OK?" I said, "You really have NO idea how sexy you are, have you?"
She stood, bright red and nodded mutely.
"God I wish I could make you see you through my eyes."
She opened her mouth with a quick retort and shut it again when she saw the look on my face.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
"Its OK. Oh honey," I said exasperated, "to me you are glorious, every single inch of you, your thighs, the folds of your stomach, the dimples on your arse, your wonderful big arms, god I cannot wait to be wrapped in those, your cute, sexy face with your double chin. I want to kiss and lick and bite every bloody inch of you, I want to loose myself in you." I looked up to find her looking at me as though I had two heads. I smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, its how I feel.
She let go of my hands and sat on the bed, her head down looking at her knees.
"I see none of that." She whispered.
** I knew I was shaking as he led me to the room, I had no idea why, I had done this before, admittedly not for a long time though. As he opened the door and led me in, I was suddenly filled with the need to leave. He took my hands before I could make my excuses.
He told me it was ok to be nervous, I was surprised that he had noticed, I though I had hidden it well and more or less told him. He laughed and kissed me. Every thought left me except for the one in my mind that went: wow, feels nice.
I was brought out of my thought as he pulled me in, I was so conscious of my excessive stomach and boobs squashing against him, his hands slid over my hips and he suddenly grabbed two handfuls fo my backside tightly, making me yelp and giggle, turning red again.
He then made me redder by telling me that I had the sexiest and fattest arse he had ever seen.
Ever ready with a retort, I threw in a flippant remark about being fat. My defence mechanism working overtime. His reaction was immediate.
He told me that he wanted no more remarks about my size. I was suddenly ashamed of myself, I wished I could stop myself but having done it for so long it was like a safety blanket I could not let go of.
He said that he wished I could see me through his eyes, I bit back the ever present comment, my mouth ready to deliver as I saw the look on his face and apologised.
He sighed and looked down at my body as he described how he felt about me. My head down and my eyes shut, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me as he described my thighs, stomach, backside and arms, telling me how he wanted to lose himself in me, he wanted to kiss me all over, to lick me and bite me. As he described, I looked at him incredulously, I could not believe anyone with any sanity could feel this way.
He looked up as he finished and saw the look on my face. He smiled and shrugged, "its how I feel" he told me. Stunned, I let go of his hands and sat on the bed unable to look at him.
"I don't see any of that," I whispered desperately trying to see what he saw, trying and failing.
** I pulled her to her feet and kissed her again, wrapping my arms around her, willing her to understand. She felt so good against me, soft and warm. My hands started to wander, unable to stay still, wanting to feel her, undress her, touch her. I wanted to push my fingers into the folds of her soft skin but most of all I wanted her to know how sexy she was.
Very gently, I slid my hand under her top and up her back as she wound her arms around my neck, her kisses becoming more intense as the need in her took over.
My fingers trailed over her skin, making her shiver and moan and I moved them around to the front of her, trailing my nails, making her stomach quiver and her breath catch, her whole body trembling as I traced patterns over her skin.
I slid my hands out and started to undo her top, our lips still playing, tongues exploring. As I undid the last button she dropped her arms from my neck and I slid the top from her shoulders to ripple onto the floor.
Pulling away from the kiss, I looked down at her, her breasts encased in red, her bottom lip between her teeth, again conscious of herself.
I bent and kissed the top of each breast, her head going back slightly, her beautiful big body shivering, a low moan leaving her. I continued to kiss her body, her shoulders, her arms, her neck and finally her face. Her chin, her cheeks, her eyes and back to her full lips, my fingers tangling in her hair, pulling on it, her head tipping back as my need took over.
My free hand moved down her back, making her shiver and press into me further, until I reached her bra fastening. Taking my hand from her hair, I unclipped her bra and slid the straps over her shoulders, lifting her breasts to remove it then letting them drop from the cups to fall down and rest on top of her stomach.
I pulled away from our kiss and looked down.
"Oh Fuck." I whispered breathlessly, looking at the most beautiful pair of dusky pink nipples.
