Note: This is going to be a series of stories told in a first person perspective by a lonely spinster woman. I felt like it would be more personal this way and that her stories would seem realistic even though they're made up. Just imagine this as one of her diary entries. I spend a lot of time thinking about how a woman like this lives her life and most often times, it's not the introvert librarian who's a closet nympho or the crazy cat lady down the block that's secretly an S&M domme. Sometimes she's just a normal person. A lot of people are alone in this world and although her stories aren't your typical fantasized eroticism, they're still sexy to her.
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A Rainy Day in Spring:
It'd been such a long time since I felt the hot caress of pure lust. The raw passion that comes from a heady man and a needy woman. That oophm and aaah, fading off into the early morning. I didn't think I was capable of it anymore. I know as a human being, I'm capable of a lot of nasty freaky things even in the day light, but it'd been so long.
Long. And hard. So very hot and hard.
My mind buzzed as my body still sparked, tiny jack hammers tripping from my sensitive nips down to my wet hungry pussy. How dare he just hold back? How dare I hold back too!? I mean I didn't mean to. I don't know if he meant to either. All I could focus was the memory of his smooth fingers stroking my sweet spots inside and his breath on the back of my neck. He even let me rake him. My finger nails dragging across his flesh, digging into his arousal. Never had I known someone to respond to me so well.
I shook my head. No. It was over and he was only adventurous because he was drunk. Maybe I was too. We're just friends. I would never lay my arms around his neck and plead for him to take my misery away with cheap booze and quick pity fucks. He would never reach out to me. Or so I thought. I don't know what happened. I unlocked my front door and kicked off my heels, my tired feet wondering why I was still doing this kind of shit. I told myself I wasn't going to be out there anymore in the crowds with all the hungry and thirsty people. I didn't feel that way. Almost all of the nights I'd hit the bars or had gone out it was to catch a drink and people-watch. I promised I was never going to be that girl one drink too many and let my inhibitions go or that other girl on the dance floor shaking her ass like she needed love to wreck her.
I wasn't.
Louisiana invited me out for a co-worker's birthday party at a bar. I didn't even want to go. It was almost eleven pm and I had already gotten ready for bed. You know the rule, bra was off. That meant I couldn't go anywhere. I don't know what convinced me to go out. Its not like I liked this guy personally. Sure, I'd developed a small crush on him when I'd first met him, but my sister had a thing with him. A fling. A rendezvous at two, a little voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir. I judged her for it. She had a habit of trying to fuck all my guy friends when she was single. I'm not calling her a hoe, but I certainly wasn't going to make my true feelings known after that. It was only after they hadn't spoken in a year because she had a boyfriend that I started talking to him again. Our friendship restarted off sour. I couldn't see him as any more than a piece of meat that my sister fancied for a week or two. He was fuck-boy Louisiana.
I am a well guarded person, what you'd call a cold hearted-bitch. If I was anymore bitter, you could make an old fashion out of me. I have trust issues from my share of broken relationships and I thought of myself as a self-respecting woman. Intelligence was my greatest weapon. I hardly played around and kept to myself, creating a bubble of rules and expectations.
I have those rules for a reason too and when I explain them out loud I know I sound conceited, but they're there to remind me of my limits. I can't help myself that I get easily aroused and I cum fast. When I get intensely excited I squirt and there's a lot. I can squirt enough to drench a twin bed not to mention, splash my partner and myself. Its messy, I'm loud, and I love it. I crave for sex, for the touch of someone that excites me and can push me beyond those limits. I'm not afraid to make it hurt either. I love primal play. The scratching and clawing, the biting and deep growls rumbling in our chests as we cum together. That's my favorite. I love cream pies. In my slutty mouth and my lewd pussy. I need the punishment. The regular beating, the beating of my pussy and my asshole. I don't care if its by a cock or tongue. I don't care if its by a woman or a man. I've learned to enjoy and love both. These rules... I don't like the feeling of being completely powerless to my kinks and fetishes, but at the same time. I never fight them.
I'm just as tempted as any other woman when it comes to a sly wit and a juicy cock or moist twat. For the right man or woman, I'd become anything. A submissive house pet, letting my master/mistress fuck me as he or she pleased. On all fours or in the open window for the neighbors to watch and wish they could have a taste. A fiery goddess, commanding every mortal to kneel down on their knees in hopes that when I finger-fucked myself to squirt. The splash back would grace their wagging tongues, blessing them with a pleasure they could only imagine. A sweet and sensual vanilla morsel. I'd hit any spot he or she would want me to and I'd do it over and over again until their love-cream coated my face.
I'm just waiting for someone who's my equal. A freaky deviant with the smile that could even deceive the Devil, but at last. I've grown tired of waiting and I'm not holding my breath. He or she will come my way when they do. Otherwise, I've already prepared myself to accept the fact that maybe my soul mate perished on someone's back while their daddy pulled out or spurted him or her down a throat hole. Maybe he or she was splattered on the sheets during the pull out or was left to drip-dry out of a freshly gaping asshole. My mind gets creative when I'm bored and desperate.
He dropped me off at the bar so he could park his nice little sports car at home and walk over. Even as nasty and perverted as his habits are, he wouldn't drink and drive. I walked in to the bar and for a Friday, it was pretty dead. We live in a small town. When its busy, its worse than a Mardi Gras in New Orleans and when its desolate, you can hear the crickets even in the winter.
But I'm pretty sure that if you could hear those imaginary bastards chirping, you're probably drunk and you should just accept your fate which is to be permanently sitting at a bar stool, hunched over the counter. You've become a husk of a human being and you're probably going to hate yourself as well as everyone around you for the rest of your alcoholic life.
The sad truth is, in this small town. We're all alcoholics. Every damn one of us. We drink, we drive, we have drama, and we fight. Then next weekend, we do it all over again. So you can see why I lack the enthusiasm in the local bar scene. If I were to fuck someone, there's a good chance they wouldn't even remember it. Let alone appreciate the art in my sex craft and I'm not getting any younger. I don't just want mediocre sex. Fuck, I don't even want great sex. I want the best. I want that leave me shaking and wobbling, can't walk- can't talk, can't even think- can't comprehend if I'm dead or not. That "WORTH" sex that fucks your soul right in the pussy because someday when I die alone. I want to greet death and when he takes a look at my life, he's going to see those moments and blush.
Louisiana takes his time getting to the bar. By this point, I had a few drinks. I slip into my normal role of watching, the birthday party celebrating among themselves. I've always been a loner and I assure you, I'm not one of those girls that pretends to be strong and alone. I am strong and alone. Though I don't like emitting that independent woman vibe. Its suppose to be empowering, but in the mentality of a small town it only attracts bigger and dumber predators. So I kept to myself, quietly sipped my beer, and entertained myself with the latest cat videos on my facebook wall.
There was a time when I enjoyed this kind of scene. Carelessly downing what I could just to prove that I could do it and then regret it in the morning while I was scantly clad in something a savory twenty-one year old would wear. No fear. No limits. Not a care in the world. The thought of leaving silently crossed my mind. It always did. That hesitant insecure thought before the alcohol hit me and made me think otherwise.