The Maltese Fuckin Ch 1 1

Ch. I: Murder in 33-B

Joseph Masterson, Ph.D., was a professor of religious studies at a major university in Los Angeles. He was a trim, alert handsome man of forty-three with a thin moustache, sharp eyes and impeccably dressed. He flashed around big-time money and had quite the eye for the ladies. Which is why Las Vegas was his favorite place and he made it a point to visit every few months. Joseph was also one of the world's foremost collectors of ancient jade artifacts which was the most important reason he was in sin city this time.

Lilith was playing Blackjack at Joseph's favorite inn when he first saw her. He thought she was way out his league, and everybody else's for that matter. She was something beyond beautiful he thought. Very tall, long black shiny hair, green eyes, a strange beauty mark on her forehead and the face of a devilish angel. A goddess. Her red velvet mini-dress was so skin tight it looked like it was painted on. It had an open back with a multi-tipped wicked collar.

The lady was winning and seemed to have real skill at the game. Joseph was not doing well as usual. The Japanese fellow with him, Miyuki Huang, was doing much better. Neither of the two gentlemen could believe the language the lady was using. Lilith kept saying "Lick Me!" whenever she wanted a hit. She used terminology like "Ernest Hemingway becomes a man" and "Franklin's ace" and the dealer never blinked an eye. He seemed to comprehend her lingo perfectly.

Joseph took a break from the table when Lilith did, and he followed her into the lounge. "Do you mind if I join you?" he asked politely as she sat at a small table in the back.

"Please do, I like company. You didn't seem to be doing well at the table. My name is Lilith."

Joseph introduced himself and said, "No, I wasn't doing very well but you are an incredible player. Of course, you have a distinct advantage. Who can pay attention to cards when you are at the table?"

Lilith laughed and said, "Maybe, but it might help if you did things like play to seventeen when the dealer's up card is a seven or higher, play to twelve and stop when the dealer's card is a six or lower but higher than a three, and stuff like that."

They ordered a drink. "Yours would of course be a Bloody Mary," he joked.

Joseph was thoroughly impressed by Lilith's obvious intelligence and razor sharp wit. Very different than the coeds who frequented his classes he thought, but not much older. He was astounded by her knowledge of history, religion and scripture.

Joseph was not sure if she was actually flirting with him or just teasing and tantalizing him in a friendly way. He said to himself he had to keep her interest if he was going to get anywhere with this one.

"You know of course that Lilith was the first vampire and invented fellatio. Her goal in life was to suck the life force out of a man, his blood and his semen." That being said, Joseph paused, and Lilith roared in laughter. He took that as a cue to continue.

"Lilith was a parasitical predator who used her greatest weapons, her incredible beauty, her aura of sensuality and the skills taught her by supernatural beings to lure men into her snare." Joseph quoted passages from the bible, Isaiah 34:14 and elsewhere, to document his statements. He also said he had copies of Dead Sea Scroll fragments that clinched it.

"Oh, you are simply a shit! Not again! A chick who rides a Harley always gets stereotyped."

"You got a Harley?" he stammered. "Never been on one but I would love it."

"Yeah, right" but are you sure? "It's right outside. Let's go!" She picked up her cape on the way out. Actually it was a distressed brown long leather duster she had dyed green. Large front pockets, backslit with snaps, adjustable cuffs, leg straps and a removable cape.

Joseph couldn't back down now, it wouldn't be the manly thing to do, much to his chagrin.

"That's quite a bike," was all he could say when he saw the Fatboy, and that he said rather weakly.

"Yeah, I like it," Lilith responded nonchalantly. "1993 custom built Fatboy. S & S rods and pistons, Edelbrock hand ported heads, Sifton 141 cam, PM 4-piston rear caliper, Lepera bare bones solo seat with gel pak, Merch performance case, Truett & Osborn flywheels, S & S Super-E with thunderjet, Dyna 2000 ignition and single fire coils, Pro-1 billet forward controls, Avon Super Venoms. It's a cool bike. Actually, I have a '51 Panhead I like better. You saw 'Easy Rider' right?"

Joseph was speechless. Yes, he did see 'Easy Rider' but he didn't particularly want to be in the sequel. He put on one of the German army helmets with the Y-strap and she put on the other. Quite unusual he thought. All of this was unusual but he thought he best play along because he said to himself he would just die for one night with this woman.

Joseph definitely did not take well to Lilith's wheelies and leaning on the curves. He was holding on for dear life and not even in a sensual way.

"Those aren't life preservers," she yelled over her shoulder as Joseph kept squeezing her breasts in a death grip.

Lilith couldn't tell whatever it was Joseph had for lunch. It just looked like vomit to her. But she was quite sure the beetle juice would work better on an empty stomach, and because she had achieved her objective, she turned around and headed back to the hotel.

"You are definitely no biker!" she said to Joseph and chuckled. He was relieved the lady was not ticked off he had barfed on her green cape, which looked very expensive.

"The Dead Sea Scrolls?" she asked, her interest still piqued as they returned to the bar and ordered another drink.

"Yes, yes" he eagerly attempted to continue.

"Wait, wait" she interrupted him. Joseph didn't notice Lilith pull on the waist of her red velvet mini-dress to display even more cleavage. As he gazed down the front, he was not about to argue with anything she said.

Lilith knew he was looking and Joseph knew she knew. "Well, you squeezed the hell out of them when we on my bike, so I guess it's OK if you take a real good look." She broke out in laughter again. "Joseph, I said 'wait' before you start about the Dead Sea Scrolls because my left foot is itching like crazy, would you scratch it for me, please?"

He hit his head on the table on his eagerness to get under there and play with her tootsies and was glad she couldn't see his red face.

"Oh my! You have such a nice soft tickling touch," she said so erotically he thought.

"What are you doing under there Joseph," she finally said as people began to stare. "I knew I should have worn panties."

When Joseph finally came up for air, Lilith said, "Hurry up and finish your drink. I'll buy you dinner. I'm famished!" Joseph's drink looked cloudy as he sat at the table once again. "Did you put something in my drink?"

"Well sure I did!" and she laughed loudly and he couldn't help join her in the mirth.

"I put some beetle juice in your drink. Pulverized emerald green blister beetles, you know, the Cantharis Vesicatoria, more commonly known as the Spanish Fly."

"Huh?" was about all he could muster up at that.

"Do you not know that the Marquis de Sade utilized a concoction of the same pulverized beetles to entice young ladies to participate in his orgies. Unfortunately he occasionally used a little too much and poisoned his feminine friends."

"Really?" he responded in as he regained his composure somewhat.

"Really. And two thousand years ago the Roman whore, Livia, who was married to one of the Nero boys and also Augustus, used a little of the stuff to flavor the food. No wonder the entire imperial family engaged in many sexual indiscretions and perversions she later used against them."

"What about the Spanish Fly results in death?" Joseph asked as he was becoming more and more intrigued. This girl can spin some yarns as good as I can he thought.

"Cantharidin is the poisonous substance in these pulverized beetles. Normally two grams will certainly result in a fatality within a few hours. Not to get medically technical, but prior to death the preliminary symtom is priapism. You know, a hard on that won't go away no matter what."

Joseph felt as though he was getting one of those hardons at that very moment so he suggested they go into the dining room.

"I can't let her monopolize the conversation," Joseph said to himself as they were contemplating the menu. She will mesmerize me with that sultry voice he thought. "Change the subject?" was his foremost thought and "How can a woman get the best of me intellectually? I'm a doctor of philosophy. I'm the man!"

Joseph suspected he could divert Lilith's attention from talking about sexual matters by expounding upon his "Sasquatch" theory. Bigfoot, or Sasquatch, the common Native American terminology, was his peculiar fetish. He was quite pleased when Lilith asked to order for both of them.

The waiter was Jewish and spoke Hebrew. And so did Lilith! Joseph couldn't believe his ears. Of course, he was fluent in Hebrew and joined the conversation. She was so kind as to let him order the wine.

"We would like the Shepherd's Pie," she instructed the waiter. "Salad and an appetizer, you pick, surprise us." The Jewish waiter was just as infatuated with this woman as Joseph was, he was hanging on her every word.

"What is Shepherd's Pie, exactly?" Joseph asked.

"It's delicious! I've had it here before and it is absolutely my favorite. Irish potatoes and Hebrew meatballs."

Lilith smirked devilishly and continued, "Hebrew meatballs are goat's testicles boiled in milk. The recipe comes from the 'Kama Sutra' where it states the delicacy dramatically increases sexual vigor."

Joseph gasped and almost fainted in shock at this revelation.

"Oh Joseph, you are so much fun to tease! Lighten up will ya?"

They thoroughly enjoyed their long and leisurely dinner. Joseph did most of the talking. Lilith seemed captivated by his talk of the Sasquatch. He thought himself quite witty when he started off on the subject with, "Are the tabloid headlines like 'Beautiful Women Help to Lure Bigfoot' and 'Sasquatch Likes to Study the Ladies' true?"

Joseph asked questions like, "Is the Bigfoot a man, beast or an aberration that resulted from the sexual perversions of the fallen angels thousands of years ago? Why do Native American legends abound regarding bigfoot like creatures? The Sasquatch of our country, the Yeti of Asia, the Mapinguari of the Amazon region, the Yowie of Australia, the Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas are all what?"

And then he answered his own questions. "Bigfoot are mutants. Their ancestors are Nephilim, fallen angels. The fallen angels who came to earth and copulated with women. Bigfoot, Sasquatch, are giants. Decendents of the giants of the bible like Goliath and Og of Bashan. A dormant recessive supernatural gene has caused significant genetic damage over the past 6,000 years. They remain, however, incredibly intelligent despite their outward appearance. There are numerous photographs and footprints of Bigfoot in evidence. Sightings are increasing but they are extremely elusive and dispose of the remains of the dearly departed."

"Of course you can prove all this," Lilith interrupted.

"Sure can. One of my colleagues has obtained a hair sample from a Sasquatch and has isolated a sequenced mitochrondial gene fragment to determine the phylogenetic affiliation of the creature."

"What does that mean in plain English?" she interrupted again.

"The research has determined conclusively that Sasquatch is far more human than ape. My colleague and others like him are afraid to publish their research lest they be subject to great public ridicule, despite the overwhelming evidence."

Lilith interjected with a seductive smile, "And of course you were correct about yours truly. I am a vampire; I am Lilith the original demoness of the dark although I'm a little old for you dude, as in more than six thousand birthdays."

Joseph gasped at this last admission and Lilith saw the opportunity to change the subject to what she was most interested in. "Joseph, I heard you and that Japanese guy talking about something called the Black Dick. You also referred to it as the Charcoal Charmstone and the Maltese Fuckin' I think. What in the world was that all about?"

"Oh nothing much. Just business. Just an ancient piece of jade sculpture I would like to acquire and Mr. Huang is the intermediary. Embedded in the sculpture are two absolutely incredible emeralds. The piece is thousands of years old. From the Olmec era. We know it later belonged to the Aztecs in Teotihuacan but then it just simply disappeared. What family owned those jewels all those years we do not yet know. The piece is priceless probably, but I'm not sure Mr. Huang knows that. The Black Dick, Charcoal Charmstone and Maltese Fuckin' are just nicknames we gave it. It is a phallic symbol and has been coated with flat black latex paint to disguise it. Who wouldn't recognize jade and emeralds?" "C'mon dude, let's dance, all this talk and food is making me fat," she declared emphatically. There was a small band playing some good tunes.

Joseph was a very practiced devotee of the dance floor and every eye in the room was on them, dance after dance. Finally, the leader of the band announced they were taking a short break.

Lilith grabbed Joseph's hand and led him up to the band leader, a gentleman named Louie. "Do you take requests?" she asked demurely.

Louie's eyes also had been riveted on this gorgeous creature as she whirled and twirled. He winked as he said, "I'd do anything for you, honey. But the next set is country and western. Got to cater to the cowboys in the crowd."

"Cool!" she exclaimed and startled Louie with her enthusiasm. "Would you believe I'm a cowgirl and I can sing?"

Louie joined the pair at their table for a drink during the break. Lilith gave him a quick lesson on Dwight Yoakam's "Buenas Noches From a Lonely Room (She Wore Red Dresses)."

Louie just loved the tune and asked Lilith to tell the band how to play it, and he insisted she join him on the stage.

Lilith helped Louie start off the song.

"She wore red dresses with her black shining hair."

"She had my baby and caused me to care," he sang. Lilith whispered in his ear, "I sure hope not, I take pills."

"Then coldly she left me to suffer and cry," he warbled. "The only thing you are crying about, Louie, is that you didn't get to stick it up my bum yet," she whispered and he laughed.

"She wore red dresses and told such sweet lies," and on that note Lilith did a "Who Me?" pantomime.

The audience went wild with this act and wanted much more, and so did Louie, but she begged off with "Maybe later. I got to get back to the Blackjack table and make some more moola."

But Blackjack was not the game she had in mind at the moment. She asked Joseph, "You have a room in this hotel, do you not? Can we go up so I can freshen up a bit?"

"Yes, I do have a room. 33-B is just waiting for you and me." Joseph could not believe his good fortune. He never would have suggested such an idea but since it was her, what could a gentleman do but concur? Besides, he had been suffering from an incredible erection for hours which would have been rather visible had he not kept his long jacket buttoned.

At first, during dinner, Joseph thought Lilith was just joking with him when she took the leopard fur lined bondage cuffs out of her purse and put them around her wrists. "Quite the fashion accessory don't you think Joseph? Check out this velcro closure with the locking tongue roller buckle. I have a larger pair in my purse for ankles along with the straps to hook them up to whatever."

Joseph had a complimentary bottle of champagne in his room and they decided to imbibe. He was sitting on the bed and Lilith was sitting on a chair close to him.

Lilith took the cuffs off her wrists, took the larger pair out of her purse and asked seductively, "Would you like to try these on?"

"No, no" she corrected him when he eagerly stuck out his arms and lifted up his legs. "Take your clothes off except for your shorts," and he did so incredibly quickly.

Lilith attached the cuffs and the straps and hitched Joseph up to the bed. "You are at my mercy, as in, no mercy." She couldn't resist the temptation to walk on him but she did kick her spikes off and did so very gently. "I'm going to get into something more comfortable," and with that she picked up her purse and went into the bathroom.

Slipping her dress off quickly, she admired her image in just the garter belt and mesh stockings in the mirror. Her long painted red fingernails did look like claws.

The fangs were last. She had sculpted them herself with Fimo baked polymer clay and tooth dye. A little dental adhesive to hold them in place and she could bite even apples and other hard objects.

When she walked back in the room, Joseph gasped but he liked what he saw.

Lilith started by nibbling his neck with her fangs and raking her claws lightly over his chest and legs until she drew blood. She rubbed her stocking adorned feet all over his body.

Pulling on Joseph's boxer shorts, she got them down to his knees. "This isn't so easy when somebody is spread-eagled you know," she responded when he appeared amused by her struggling.

Lilith had Joseph in her mouth, all of him. She sucked him hard and fast and bit and nibbled until he screamed. This was a pleasure scream.

The vamp kept right on sucking and biting long after Joseph came; sucking and biting harder and harder. He began screaming again loudly. This was a terror scream. He told her what she wanted to know, the "secret," and then she removed her mesh stockings and stuffed them in his mouth. Not even the stockings could muffle the cries of anguish as she finished the job.

Lilith dropped a playing card on the bed as she walked out the door. It was the card she had lifted from the deck while playing blackjack; the Queen of Hearts.

The next morning the maid found Joseph still spread-eagled and restrained to the bed. She was able to summon security before she crumpled in shock. It was soon discovered that Joseph's penis was missing and all the blood was drained from his body.

To Be Continued...