You Can't Always Get What You Want

Feb 15, 2005

Two days later Essence and Christine were sitting in Denny's waiting for Justin to come. Her parents thought she would be going to Hershey Park, which was around three hours away, for a few days with her best friend, when in reality she and Justin were going.

She still had two hours to wait until Justin would be there, so she and Christine were spending some time together.

"I know that Taylor hurt you and he seems like a jerk, but maybe the two of you could be friends. You did want that, you know?" Christine was saying.

Essence shook her head, "He's a complete and total ass. Nothing like how us fans thought he was."

"Maybe he just came off wrong. You did say he said he didn't want the marriage either. Maybe he is on your side."

"Yeah, well if that's even the truth. He makes me sick. He probably just wants to be with his precious Natalie," Essence replied, bitterly,"She's supposedly pregnant again. It's pretty clear he wants nothing to do with me."

Christine grinned,"You just contradicted yourself. Are you sure you don't harbor any feelings toward him?"

"Only hatred and loathing."

"Come on Essence, some of how you felt for me must still be there," said a very familiar voice.

Both girls' heads turned to look up at the tall figure standing beside their booth, grinning at the object of his supposed desire.

"Go away Taylor," Essence said.

Taylor's grin become a serious expression, "Look Essence, we need to talk. We got off wrong. I really would like to be friends with you. After all those years of thinking we'd end up together, well, I'd like to at least have a friendship with you." His deep blue eyes were filled with sincerity and he wore an anxious look on his face.

Essence sighed,"Fine Taylor, I'll give you another chance. But don't even think you can pull that cocky-ass bullshit again. If you do, you can kiss any chance at friendship goodbye."

His grin reappeared,"Got it."

"Well you two," Christine said with a quirky smile on her lips,"I should get going. I'll let you guys talk for the hour and a half you have before Justin comes."

Essence started to protest but Christine stopped her,"Look girl, you won't be able to see Tay for almost a week, so it'd be a good idea to at least talk now. Besides,"she checked her watch,"I promised Evan I'd meet him for lumch. I'll see you later."

Essence sighed,"Okay Chris, later."

After she was gone, Taylor slid into place where she had vacated. "You know, maybe we should start over," he said, sticking out his hand, the cheeky grin staying on his face,"Hi, I'm Taylor. Nice to meet you."

Essence laughed and her smile transformed her serious expression into sparkling eyes and straight pearly white teeth. She shook his hand,"I'm Essence. Nice to meet you too."

The shock of his solid, warm hand with the long fingers brought a slight rush of longing, which she quickly pushed back down.

"So Essence, how old are you?" Taylor continued the charade, pulling his hand reluctantly away from hers.

She laughed and replied,"It's okay, we don't need to start COMPLETELY over. I'm sure you know at least that about me."

"Actually I don't know too much about you. Our parents wanted us to get to know each other on our own. I do know your birthday though, which is in a little over a week."

Essence nodded,"That would be correct. Which is also the reason Justin and I are going to Hershey Park. Though my parents think I'm going with Christine, not Justin." As soon as that last sentence was out of her mouth, she was wishing desparately that she could take it back. It had slid past her lips so naturally. He had made her feel at ease. Which was definitely not a good thing. She didn't know if she could trust him and information like that could be very dangerous in his hands.

Taylor knew he could do two things with what had inadvertantly slipped out of Essence's mouth. He could go tattle on her to her parents or let it slide. Both options were so appealing. Telling on her would ensure she not spend more time alone with Justin. Which sounded good to him. But that would definitely put him on her bad side. This time he knew he wouldn't be getting a second chance either. He didn't want that, not when he'd just gotten on her good side. So he just smiled and said,"Sounds fun. I hope you have a great time. When you get back, you and I will definitely need to hang out."

His words shocked Essence. He wasn't going to get angry? He looked genuinely happy for her. Of course, he could be planning to run to her parents at the first opportunity. Not that it would matter now. She snuck a glance at her watch on her wrist. If she could just keep him talking for an hour and ten minutes, Justin would be there and she'd be well on her way. But then she'd have to deal with them when she got home. She sighed inwardly, oh well.

Realizing she hadn't replied to his nice statement and suggestion, she pasted a big smile on her face and said,"Thanks. I can't wait to get there. It's gonna be so much fun. Oh, and yeah definitely we'll have to get together once I get back."

Taylor had been watching her face, a parade of emotions. Surprise, suspicion, anger, sadness and then a big smile. He knew exactly what she was thinking. Well, she'd be in for a surprise when she came back and her parents were still oblivious to the fact that she;d spent all that time with her boyfriend, not her best friend. Sharing the same room probably...same bed...in the dark...he shook himself out of those thoughts. The only thing he could do to intervene with that would ensure he never had a chance to wint her over. So as much as he hated it, that was out of the question.

"So, have you been there before?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, it was a blast. I love that place!" she replied with enthusiasm,"The rollercoasters are so incredible! I'd go everyday if I could and never get tired..."

Tay watch as she talked on and on about one of her favorite amusment parks. Her whole face, he noticed, lit up when she was genuinely excited or happy about something. She probably used to look like that when she talked about or saw me, he thought to himself. He sighed inwardly,what a bittersweet thing that is. He wished she still felt like she used to about him, it would make this all so much easier. It was his fault though, he knew that. Time to fix things then. Make it how it should be, he grinned.

While he had been letting his thoughts run wild, Essence had noticed the change in his eyes, a dark blue. Even though he nodded and said "yeah" and "mhmm" at the appropriate times, she could tell he wasn't hearing much of what she was saying. She'd seen that look on his face alot over the years. In interviews where the questions that were being asked had been answered a hundred times before. She always wondered what he thought about when he zoned out like that. He was hearing but not really listening so much.

Which then it was funny, him ignoring the obnoxious hosts, but now it made her mad, him ignoring her. He is so wrapped up in himself. He doesn't even care. Ugh, she thought disgustedly.

She glanced at her watch again. Forty-five minutes to go. Feeling suddenly very thirsty, she picked up her glass of water and took a big drink. The coolness slid down, soothing her parched throat. Funny how thirsty anger makes you.

She narrowed her eyes at him,"Taylor, I know you're not really listening to what I'm saying. If I'm that boring, you can leave you know."

His eyes focused into an aquamarine color.

"Oh so you heard that, huh?" she said sarcastically.

"No no..I..was listening. I..was just thinking too.. I did hear you," he half stuttered, caught by surprise that she was able to see through his actions.

"Sure you were Taylor. I'm a big enough fan that I know you and your brothers' reactions at interviews and all. It's like a defense mechanism against boredom and repetition," she was tapping her fingers on the table, her black and red painted nails gleaming. She had an angry expression on her face. Her lips forming a straight line, her eyes flaming dark brown, one eyebrow raised in question at his blatant lie.

Okay, so he had underestimated this girl. 'Understatement of the year Taylor,' his mind echoed back to him.

He put a repentant expression on, with deep blue pools of eyes,"I'm sorry Essence, I was sort of listening, but not like I should have been. I promise I won't do it again."

"Don't give me that look Taylor. It won't work on me."

He opened his mouth to protest.

"I will, however, forgive you this once. Don't think you can pull it off with me ever though. It won't work."

He gave her a 'Taylor smile,' one that makes girls weak in the knees,"Thanks Essence. You're awesome."

"Oh, and Taylor?"

"Yeah?"

"While at one time they would've, your charms don't work on me anymore," she smiled sweetly and leaned back against the booth, arms crossed, watching as a surprised look passed over his features before he veiled it.

"Of..of course not. I can see you're not like most fans." Damn, this girl is making me stutter. I haven't been this tongue-tied since our first interview.

"Damn straight I'm not," came her reply, accompanied by a smug smile.

Just then a guy with a good number of piercings walked up to their booth,"Hey Essence."

Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice and she jumped up and hugged him, tight.

Taylor seethed silently until she turned around with a huge grin on her perfectly kissable lips. "Tay this is Justin, my boyfriend," she introduced him while his arm crept around her waist possesively,"Justin this is Taylor Hanson."

Justin looked him up and down. Seeing good looks. The charm. What Essence saw, well he knew her well enough to know it went deeper than that. Though he didn't see how. He probably never would,"THE Taylor Hanson, huh?"

Tay inclined his head in acknowledgement,"That would be me."

"I see."

The moment went on. Each guy sizing the other up.

It wasn't lost on Essence. Neither one said it was nice to meet the other. She could feel Justin's body language. He was faced with the guy who had had her heart and didn't know it. He gave it up to another. Essence was happy Taylor had relinquished her heart, that he had had no clue he had held it in his hands for so long. Until one day he closed those hands around it and squeezed until it ceased beating, laying still and masacred.

Justin had taken that mutilated heart and made it beat again. Made it whole and new. Now it was his.

Essence broke the silence before the testosterone filled up the room,"Well Tay, Justin and I should get going. It's a few hour trip."

"Yeah, you're right baby,"Justin agreed,"better get moving."

Taylor finally stood then,"Of course."

Essence pulled away from Justin long enough to grab her purse and duffel bag that had sat beside her on the booth. She dug in the purse and threw a tip on the table, then she and her boyfriend started walking away,"See you later Taylor."

"See you later," he replied. "Don't forget about what I said when you get back."

She turned around, an unidentifiable look on her features,"Of course I won't forget Taylor."

Then they both walked out the door, got in Justin's car and drove away.

Taylor got in his car also and watched them go, once again lost in his thoughts.

"We're going to have one interesting time when you get back," he said outloud. "Oh yes we are."

He smiled, one of pure evil intent and started his car, driving back to where he was staying.

Planning.