Who Wanna Be a Bimbo?

When you are in your early fifties you already understand that you are not a part of the 'young generation', even if you manage to stay in good health. Patricia was aware of that, but that fact did not make her necessarily upset. She might have been fifty two years old, but she was not out of touch just yet. Mostly because of her character, but also because of her work. Professor Patricia Newton was a Dean of the Physics Faculty at Oxbridge University. Regular contacts with students managed to constantly rejuvenate her spirit, while she pursued her scientific, educational and administrative career.

Patricia was fully aware that a healthy life-style was necessary to maintain a well-functioning mind. That was why she kept a balanced diet and exercised regularly. She managed to remain in a perfect physical and intellectual shape. Patricia had never been a truly beautiful woman, but was still quite attractive; though no longer turned heads as she had in her prime. It would not be appropriate for a Dean anyway; that was why she maintained a style which was elegant and professional, but still feminine and attractive.

Patricia's personal life was not as successful as her career. Though she had married relatively early and had three kids, she and her husband divorced once their offspring reached adulthood. Sporadic short-lived romances were the only semblance of her personal life since then. Currently her mind was more occupied with more than feelings though, because she had just developed a new advertising campaign for the University. Because Patricia believed that modern problems require modern solutions she was not afraid to use highly unorthodox advertising methods. The Dean decided to participate in the Who Wanna Be a Bimbo quiz show. She was aware how popular the show was among her students, so she had no doubts that her participation would boost the recognition and popularity of her alma mater. Plus the prize would be used to fund scholarships for a few best students.

As a teacher, scientist and an administrator the Dean was naturally methodical, so she watched several episodes of the quiz. To say that they made her blush would be a serious understatement. While a part of her considered some of the scenes at least inappropriate, another part, which had been dormant for years, reawakened and was exceptionally excited. Patricia had a lot of experience in performing in front of a small crowd, but she suspected that standing on the stage would be significantly different that giving lectures; it did not discourage her though. The Dean's methodical approach was even more important when preparing for the quiz itself. Naturally she had a superb memory and knew effective methods of learning, but she soon learnt something moderately unpleasant. Random, disjointed pieces of information were a lot more difficult to memorise than even the most complex, but complete and logical, theorem. Her brain simply was not designed for memorising a lot of nothing, even if all of those 'nothings' were part of a Greater Something. That Something was just never present, so a bigger picture was unable to ever appear. Thus the learning process was not as efficient as she had hoped and certainly not as pleasant. These obstacles did not mean that Patricial failed, she simply did not feel as comfortable as she would like to. That did not discourage her either.

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen! My name is Frank Trustworthy. Today with me is the most distinguished guest we had ever had on our show. Please, give a warm welcome to Professor Patricia Newton, the Dean of Oxbridge University."

The audience clapped loudly, but their surprise could be felt. An actual Dean at the show was as distinguished as she was astonishing.

Patricia was wearing a suit which she usually used for official celebrations. It consisted of a white shirt, light navy blue jacket and a tight knee-long skirt in the same colour. It was tailored perfectly and flaunted her full, feminine curves while remaining classy and without being revealing. Her legs were covered in sheer black pantyhose and on her feet she wore elegant pumps on seven centimetre tall heels.

"Good evening, Professor," the host continued when they quieted down, "please, tell me, why does a Dean want to become a bimbo?" he asked with a wink.

"Good evening, Frank," Patricia replied with a friendly smile, "please, call me Patricia. This show doesn't seem to be a place for such formal titles. As for your question, I don't want to become a bimbo. My goal is to promote the university and gather funds for a new scholarship program."

"A noble goal," the host replied seriously, "we'll be happy to support you in pursuing it. But are there no transformations that you'd wish to undergo?"

The Dean had seen enough episodes to be aware how risky being transformed could be, though she had to admit that many of them looked tempting, especially the rejuvenating ones. But she also knew that in order for the advertising effect to occur she had to play the game and entertain the audience.

"I admit, some of them could be beneficial," Patricia said in a casual tone, "especially the ones that could revert the effects of ageing, like wrinkles or... ehem, sagging. Even not having to dye the grey hair that is beginning to appear would be welcome."

She was not lying, she would indeed like to undergo such transformations. She just was not sure whether they were worth the risk.

"We have all that and more!" Frank replied with a grin, "but remember, in order to get a chance to draw a desired transformation you need to give incorrect answers. And I get a feeling that you're one of the best prepared contestants we ever had."

"Your assumption is correct in that I'm indeed well prepared. I'm not a regular viewer though, so I'm not sure how I look compared to others."

"That answer alone tells me that you're easily top three. Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes."

"Draw the categories."

"Art, Food, Languages, Recognise Weapons and Military Vehicles, Wonders of the World, Countries by Area, Poland, British Empire, French Geography, Metals, Solar System, Postapo."

"Can you confirm your confidence in your preparation after learning the categories?"

"Yes," Patricia replied in a serious tone, "I feel comfortable about most of them."

"Which category for the first round?"

"British Empire."

Patricia felt tempted to give a single incorrect answer, just to learn what kind of transformation she could draw afterwards. Of course some of the transformations were highly undesirable and much more could be a nuisance. But enough positive, or at least neutral, ones remained so the contestant could feel the temptation. Her inner discipline prevailed though and she answered all of the questions correctly.

Gibraltar, a strategically important territory which allows the United Kingdom to control the entrance and exit to the Mediterranean Sea, was captured from Spain in 1704 during which war? War of the Spanish Succession. Correct. The year 1960 is referred to as the Year of Africa because seventeen African nations gained independence, including two former British colonies. Which of the following were those colonies? Somalia and Nigeria. Correct. Which city was the capital of the British Bengal Presidency? Calcutta. Correct. The First Fleet of British colonists arrived in Australia and found Sydney in which year? 1788. Correct. England conquered the Spanish colony of Jamaica in which year? 1655. Correct.

"Congratulations, Patricia, a flawless round," Frank announced, "but this also means that you won't get a chance to draw any rejuvenating transformations."

"My personal goals have a lesser priority than my professional ones."

"But isn't advertising Oxbridge University one of your main goals? If you storm through the show without a single transformation it won't be overly entertaining and thus its advertising factor will be limited," the host said in a serious voice.

"I haven't thought about it that way," Patricia admitted. She pondered for a moment, then added, "I'm genuinely torn right now. I wish I had more time to analyse your suggestion, but the show must go on, doesn't it?"

"It certainly does," the host replied, "I can give you some time to think though. Hopefully you'll be able to entertain the audience a bit in the process. We already know that you consider the rejuvenating transformations to be desirable. Which one would you consider tolerable?"

"I don't remember them all," the contestant answered, "I spent more time memorising trivia, rather than the transformations themselves. But as a general rule I don't mind those which would allow me to live my life normally, as I did so far," she pondered for a moment, then continued, "colours of eyes, lips or nails, minor wardrobe changes. Flexibility certainly sounds like a healthy skill."

"The list may be longer than you think," Frank replied, "thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I believe we're now ready for the Second Round. Which category would you like?"

"French Geography."

Patricia indeed thought about Frank's suggestions. Undergoing a few transformations would undeniably make the show more entertaining and thus help promote the University better. She was honest enough with herself to admit that she was looking for an excuse, rather than anything else. Ultimately she decided to make a single mistake to see how it turns out; after all she could always discard an inappropriate transformation.

The opportunity presented itself. Locating rivers, departments or historical regions was easy. Patricia had no problems with indicating on the map Rhône, Occitania and Burgundy. Cities were a bit tricky though, because of their small size and the required precision. Locating Nice was simple, because of its characteristic location. The Dean knew the general location of Nancy, but had problems in pointing it out precisely enough. She was not certain whether she made a genuine mistake or a deliberate one.

"One mistake, Patricia," the host announced, "it seems that you're not as thoroughly prepared as one might expect. Though I'm sure the audience isn't disappointed. Draw one transformation card."

"High Heels."

"Do you consider it one of those minor, tolerable wardrobe changes?"

"I believe so," the contestant replied, "it certainly isn't one to be discarded. But I'll tell you whether or not I actually like it once I'm transformed."

"In that case let's not waste the time. Into The Chamber!"

Patricia was not excited just yet, but she was certainly curious. The scientific part of her brain wondered how that machine operated and whether it truly followed all the physical principles which she taught at the University. But currently that part of her mind was overshadowed by the one responsible for entertainment and emotions. She was wearing high heels already, but she was aware that the new ones would be much taller and her feet would be adjusted as well. The emotion the contestant felt was reminiscent of borrowing her mom's high-heels back when she was a girl. Particia entered the device, closed her eyes and stood motionlessly; she did not have to wait long. For a moment the Dean lost her balance when the heels of her shoes suddenly grew. Fortunately her feet were adjusted swiftly and she maintained straight posture... and it was all over.

The door to the Chamber opened and Patricia walked out. She raised her head to look up at the screen, where the camera already zoomed in onto her new shoes. Not only were they significantly taller, they also looked a lot sexier. The heels themselves had grown up to sixteen centimetres and became thin stilettos; there also appeared a three centimetre tall platform. The tops of the pumps were black, the soles - red; both were smooth and glossy. The shoes managed to be glamorous without being overly flashy; they also fit with the rest of Patricia's elegant outfit surprisingly well. The camera zoomed out to exhibit the contestant's entire body; the extra eight centimetres caused significant changes to her overall posture. Her full, round buttocks were not more prominent and, in order to maintain balance, she had to push her chest forward. Patricia's bra was designed to hold her sizable breasts, which had fed three children back in the day, firmly in place. But as she now strode expertly in her new heels, their bouncing of the boobs could not go unnoticed. This one, supposedly minor, change caused the contestant to feel sexy once again, despite her age.

"Welcome back, Patricia," the host greeted her, "it seems that you like your new heels as much as we do."

"Yes, I do, Frank," the contestant smiled brightly, "I can now answer your earlier question. This is the kind of wardrobe change which I find not merely neutral, but positive."

"We're happy to hear it," the host replied, "in that case I'm sure that you won't mind performing a small show for the audience. Please, flaunt not only your shoes, but also your newly acquired skills."

"It'll be a pleasure," she replied, still smiling, with a genuine joy in her voice.

Patricia started out at her panel and strode towards one end of the stage. Her steps could not be too long, because of the tightness of her skirt, but nevertheless she tried to make her best supermodel impression. That caused her breasts to bounce even more, but that did not bother her. After all she was performing for the audience, and the goal was to entertain them. It was ironic that Patricia had worked her entire life to be appreciated for her intellect and character; and now she aimed to impress everyone with her appearance. Though it was flaunting to be able to achieve that at her age; transformations or not, the diets and exercises finally paid out. The contestant reached the edge of the stage, turned around gracefully and began to walk towards the other edge; her heels clicked loudly the whole time. She could feel the gazes of the audience on her, she was certain that some of her students were among them; that thought excited her even more. When Patricia eventually returned to her panel she was rewarded with a loud round of applause. She could even feel herself blushing, something she had not done in years.

"Thank you, Patricia," Frank said, when the audience quieted down, "that was a beautiful performance. I can see you're ready for the Third Round and even more such 'minor' transformations, aren't you?"

"Thank you, the contestant replied, "is that a subtle reminder that I should undergo at least a few transformations to make the show more entertaining?" she asked with a smirk.

"Of course," the host answered, grinning, "have you made your mind on that subject already?"

"As a teacher, scientist and an administrator I feel that it's simply inappropriate to make mistakes on purpose," Patricia replied evasively, "let's just say that I'll keep that possibility in mind."

"Sounds good enough to me. Which category would you like?"

"Wonders of the World."

Patricia had not been lying when she claimed that making mistakes on purpose feels wrong. She was simply contemplating doing something a little bit wrong without admitting it publicly. The inner teacher was a bit too strong for her to state her goals and motives just yet. One could consider it childish and they would not be too far from the truth. But at the same time the Dean was not sure how her superiors would react to her being more meaningfully transformed. Somehow that issue never arose during the discussions about the whole project; apparently everyone had assumed that her run would be flawless. Patricia did not want to upset her superiors and other professors with the lack of professionalism, so she needed to make any mistakes look credible. She was a human after all and humans made mistakes, even highly educated ones. But if she could not, for example, name the country in which the Pyramids were located, that would be embarrassing to say the least.

The Great Pyramid was built as a tomb for which Pharaoh?

This was the kind of question where a casual contestant could make a mistake. The most famous Pyramid had NOT been constructed for the (arguably) most famous Pharaoh. But it was also the first question and the following ones could be more difficult thus more credible for a 'mistake'. The Dean decided to not overthink it and took the risk. "Ramesses the Third", she answered. WRONG. Neither of the following questions turned out to be more difficult, so she had made the right choice. The Leaning Tower of Pisa is located in which country? Italy. Correct. The Alhambra, The Red One, is a Moorish palace and citadel complex located in which Spanish city? Granada. Correct. The CN Tower, with 553.3 metres the tallest free-standing structure from 1976 to 2007, is located in which Canadian city? Toronto. Correct. Taj Mahal, the jewel of Muslim art in India, was built in which century? The Seventeenth Century. Correct.

"One mistake again, Patricia," Frank announced.

"As an excuse I need to point out that I'm a Professor of Physics and history has never been my forte," the contestant interjected. She smiled apologetically, hoping that she did not sound too defensive.

"I'm sure that the audience will forgive you any mistakes, regardless of the category," Frank replied with an understanding smile. He did not raise the issue which they had discussed before the round, for which she was grateful, "draw one transformation card."

"Fetish: Anal Sex."

"Do you like it?"

"Not at all," the Dean replied, "it certainly isn't minor and as far as I know, it comes with an equally not-minor presentation, doesn't it?"

"That's right. The audience loves these presentations though. Does it mean you'd like to discard it?"

"Yes, I do."

"Draw two new cards then."

"Breast Expansion and Nipple Sensitivity. Oh dear."

"If you want to, we could skip the presentation part... for now."

"Very funny, Frank. I won't be taking my clothes off," Patricia's voice sounded serious, but secretly she was excited. Her breasts might have been large enough already, but having them enlarged should not hurt and the nipples transformation sounded intriguing.

"I'm not asking you to do it, though some transformations might do it for you. Into The Chamber you go."

The Dean managed to keep a straight face, as she walked into the device. There was nothing innocent about the changes she was to undergo, but they were within her personal tolerance limit. She closed her eyes and soon sensed her chest becoming heavy. That feeling was soon overshadowed by something else; a sensation which managed to be subtler and more impactful at the same time. Patricia's nipples did not grow, maybe just a little, but they became erect and began to rub against the delicate fabric of her bra. The bra itself naturally needed to be altered as well in order to be able to contain her huge breasts. The contestant had a feeling that the material had been changed as well. It was delicate and seemed to tease her nipples constantly. The sensation awakened something in Patricia that had been dormant for years- she became aroused, albeit only slightly. She could feel her cheeks begin to blush, when the door to The Chamber opened and she had to step out.

The cameraman was not subtle and immediately zoomed in onto the contestant's chest. Her breasts were still covered by three layers of clothes, but she still felt oddly exposed; though the feeling was not unpleasant. Patricia's breasts had grown a whole cup size and it was clearly noticeable, despite the outfit. The bra was partially to blame, it not only teased her sensitive nipple, but also shaped her breasts to make them look more pronounced under the clothes; she had to admit that the result looked rather attractive. The camera finally zoomed out, the perspective gave an even better opportunity to admire the bouncing of the Dean's breasts as she walked towards her panel.