Fucked up fuck Parody Alert
Hey there... My name's James... You all know me as the star of most of Dick The Motherfucking Pimp's stories... His alter ego... We've done a lot of stories together... offended a few people... entertained a few too... Along the way, we've had some criticism... some nice comments... and some perverted fun... Also along the way some questions have come up... "What's his name? Dick or James?"... "Where's he from LA or NYC?"... "Why's Kim Kardashian in so many of his stories"... "Is he really a pimp?"... Well... I'm not gonna answer those... I want to remain mysterious... But I'm starting over so to speak... My stories from now on will be better and filthier than ever... more entertaining and interesting... and most of all... MORE PERVERTED TWISTED SLEAZY FREAKY FUCKED UP AND DEPRAVED THAN EVER... Get ready to be fuckin' offended... And have a nice day (smiling)
Banjo music playing...
This is a little ol' story bout a man named James... and my fucked up family and friends. We are the real Beverly Hillbillies... the depraved XXX version. Join us on our journey through our humble fucked up lives in Beverly Hills. We party... We fuck... Each other and others... We argue... We fuck some more... We take over the Hills of Beverly... We freak fuck a whole lot more... But in the end... We get really depraved fucked up and freaky as fuck... Smiling... Welcome to our world friends and freaks...
Moonshine + Pussy = Life
(Me standing at the stairs leaning over)
"MAMA... IS BREAKFAST READY?" I yell down to my mama... Paula Deen as my mama Paula...
"IN A MINUTE BABY... GOTTA GET IT PERFECT FOR MY HONEY PIE." My mama is so sweet. I'm a mama's boy... I'll fuck you up if you try teasing me about it though.
I go back into my bedroom, where my wife... one of them... Kim Kardashian is tied up, spread eagle and nude, on our bed. God damn she's hot. I'm the horniest hillbilly you'll ever find... and my wife makes my horny blood boil like no other. I got her arms spread wide and her hands tied to the headboard... same with her legs and the foot of the bed. I scratch my hairy nuts and look at my woman. My weiner gets all hard and shit... damn, I love morning wood.
My cousin Spence... from The King of Queens... is over in the corner shaking. He's on a four day meth binge, so he's fucked up big time. His weiner's out... I got my wife... another one... pornstar Lisa Sparxxx to suck him off while he watched me drill Kim's awesome ass...and to calm his ass down. I get off on being watched... I'm a freak... the King Freak... it's my nickname... I have a bunch of them... like wives. See, I'm a pornstar. I'm also an exhibitionist. I'm also the horniest redneck ever. My dick stays hard for good pussy, weed and moonshine... in that order.
"James... are you gonna leave me like this all day babe? I love it, but I need to pee bad." Kim looks back at me with a sweet smile.
As usual... I get a horny idea. "Start peeing babe."
"On these sheets babe? They're designer silk sheets." Kim gives me a pouty look... blows me a kiss too... watching my cock bounce for her.
"Go ahead babe. I wanna watch you pee while your tied up... it's hot. I'll help." I climb up on her... My big beer belly pushing her down into the bed. I slide my cock up her booty and start fuckin'. God damn, I love my wife's ass.
"Oh my God... babe... uhhhhhhhhhhhh... Here it comessssssss!" Kim starts peeing as I freak fuck her ass. My cock throbs in her extra phat booty and slams up it faster, by the ass fucking second. Kim's pee shoots out, all over our expensive gold sheets.
"Hey Spence... come lick up Kim's pee for me... will ya?"
Spence shakes his spinning head and slowly makes his way to the bed, leaning over the foot of it. He starts lapping up Kim's pee while I continue banging her booty with my fucked up and freaky, hillbilly cock. It's throbbing and twitching... and wreckin' my woman's big, round booty. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... DO MY ASS DADDY... THIS IS SO FUCKING HOT!!"
Kim keeps peeing... Spence keeps lapping... and I keep fucking Kim's ass, stretching and plunging her hershey highway like a crazed hillbilly maniac. My belly and crotch slam down on Kim's awesome booty, over and over.
Spence starts licking my hairy balls... I love that. He's got a helluva good tongue. It licks every inch of my huge balls. Kim squirts all over his face. It's covered in pee and pussy nut. Kim cums a lot, so it keeps shooting out.
I fuck her tight booty faster and faster... And of course fasterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. My dick pistons in and out of her tight ass relentlessly. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... POUND MY ASS BABYYYYYYYY!!" I pound that fucking awesome ass, as hard as humanly possible, then... I shoot my wad up her booty... filling it full. I pull out and let Spence eat sum jizz... a thank you for a job well done. He sucks my head and eats the jizz with a smile.
"Put it in her pussy bitch." I tell my cousin. Spence happily sucks me for a few more seconds, then slides my still hard cock up my wife's welcoming, wet and warm cunt. Kim shakes her pussy all over my invading cock, as it inches up her sweet honey hole.
I smack her ass, squeeze it and enjoy the show. Kim does all the work, shaking it, popping it, working it all over my redneck cock. It feels so fucking good. Spence sucks my huge, hairy balls for me... he's a very helpful bitch. "Lick her cunt bitch." I reward him for his ball sucking job, well done.
Spence starts licking Kim's glistening labia... all the way up and down both lips, slowly, then faster, over and over, softly sucking on them, as she pops that pussy on my happy ass cock. "Mmmmmmmm... I love your beautiful cock baby... Spence's tongue is nice too. I'm gonna cum again. Mmmmmmmm." Kim moans happily, as she squirts again... all over my thick, twitching cock and out the sides of her pussy, around my cock. Spence laps up the cream that spills out. He tickles my huge balls, as he eagerly laps up Kim's pussy nut.
Kim speeds up her pussy popping on my cock. I close my eyes. Spence starts sucking her hard, throbbing clit. He works it over good, chewing on it, licking it fast. I smack Kim's ass and squeeze it hard, smacking that bitch again... My eyes closed, ready to pop. Her pussy shakes faster... I groan... Kim shakes her soaking wet pussy faster... I groan again. Kim smiles, moaning sweetly and shakes her cunt faster, side to side, up and down, faster.
I grunt and shoot my cum deep up my perfect goddess wife's, super talented cunt. My cum pumps out fast and hard, shot after shot after shot. Kim moans so sweet and satisfied. I smack her super phat ass again. "Lick her ass Spence." He obeys, licking every inch of Kim's truly perfect and perfectly shaped ass. Kim moans, in utter orgasmic delight.
I pull my cock out and let it rub on her pussy, as it twitches. Kim moans again, smiling, licking her luscious lips. Spence finishes licking Kim's ass and sucks me clean...licking the sensitive underside repeatedly. He's a good bitch. I untie Kim. She rubs her sore wrists and ankles. We make out in the horniest way... Kim sucks my tongue and I molest her big titties, with my big redneck hands.
Spence seems like he's coming out of his meth craze. He rubs his eyes and smiles. "Thanks guys... That helped. I'm never gonna do meth again."
"Good boy Spence. Nice tongue action. You need to eat my pussy sometime. Maybe later, when I get back from my agent's office. I'll be back around 3...meet me in here."
"Sure Kim... it will be my pleasure... thanks for letting me eat your jizz James."
"Sure thing cousin... make sure you make my wife cum later." Kim and I kiss. I play with her big, full titties while we do. "Go downstairs and eat mama's pussy Spence. She's been working hard making breakfast."
"Ok James." Spence gets up and heads downstairs... naked... it's normal for my family.
"I love you baby." Kim tells me, kissing me... tickling my twitching cock. She smiles and giggles.
"Love you too hot stuff." I rub her rock hard right nipple, pinch it and flick the tip. Kim moans, licking those gorgeous, full lips. I lean over and suck her hard ass nipple, softly grazing them with my teeth, licking them quickly. Kim shivers, writhing excitedly on our bed. I suck her full tits and rub her soaked cunt, flicking her rock hard clit with my big thumb. Kim screams in delight... then squirts all over my fingers and our piss soaked sheets.
Later that day in my kitchen...
"Babe, I had the worst day. My sleazy agent kept trying to feel me up and fuck me. He's horny as hell and he wants me real bad. If he was actually nice, maybe I wouldn't mind so much, but he's an asshole. I think I'm gonna fire him. Mom loves him... she's let him fuck her. He's got a really huge cock... but he's still an asshole." Kim tells me everything, as you will see in this freaky flashback...
"Kim babe... you need to open up more and relax. You're a superstar... But you could be bigger... trust me... I helped you beautiful mom out. I can help you out too babe. You just gotta relax. You scratch my back... I'll scratch yours." Kim's old agent Stanley reaches down and gropes my wife's big tits.
Kim grabs his hands and stops him. She's wearing a skin tight, very thing, black turtleneck mini dress and black heels. Her long, shiny black hair almost reaches her awesome booty. Her shiny red lipstick glistens on her full, sultry lips.