I seriously doubt Miss Watson has dreams like this, and if she does she's not telling. I, on the other hand, have dreams like this all the time. How else do I get strange ideas like this one?
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In Her Dreams
I looked around, wondering where I was. I knew I was asleep and dreaming, but I usually dreamt of places I recognised and this wasn't one of them. It was a stark white room; a huge room, with no distinguishing features. Away at the other end was a figure in black. With nothing better to do, I wandered closer to see who it was. As I got closer I realised with a start that it was Emma Watson, wearing that short lacy black dress from one of the 'Harry Potter' premieres. That was unusual for a start: Usually if I dreamt of Emma she didn't have any clothes on at all. She turned around as I approached.
"What are you doing in my dream?" She asked.
"I thought it was my dream." I replied mildly.
"Well, who are you then?" She conceded.
"I'm Dave." I held out my hand. "And you're Emma, I know."
"But why are you in my dream?" She seemed puzzled now and so was I. This wasn't how my dreams of Emma normally went.
"Like I said, I thought it was my dream. Is it important whose dream it is?"
"I think it is. If it's my dream I can change how I look, right?"
"Probably." I replied. Emma closed her eyes and her appearance altered. Now she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, just like most of us do most of the time.
"There! I knew it was my dream." She declared.
"But if it's my dream then I should be able to change how you look, right?" I asked. She nodded slowly. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the practically see-thru red dress she had worn to some cosmetic promotion. As I opened them she was as I had envisioned. Emma looked confused. In truth I was too.
"So exactly whose dream is this?" Emma asked, almost plaintively. She was obviously used to being in control.
"I think that somehow our dreams have become intertwined." I shrugged. I sounded more confident than I felt; something that often happened in my imagination.
"It's a pretty boring kind of a dream though." Emma said, looking around at the blank walls.
"Perhaps we have to make something happen?" I suggested.
"Dreams just happen though. At least I thought they did."
"Usually I suppose, but you can give them a nudge, give them a starting point." I shrugged. "At least that's what I do when I'm trying to write a story."
"You're a writer?" Emma's interest had been piqued.
"Not professionally." I said. "It's just a hobby."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed.
"I'll tell you what, Miss Watson. You decide what this dream's about. We'll do what you want shall we?" I offered.
She looked at me in surprise. "Why?"
"Let's just say I'm feeling generous. If you leave it to me it might not be much fun for you."
"If you're sure."
"I'm sure; if we ever meet here again, it'll be my turn then. Okay?"
"And we'll do anything I want?"
"Within reason. I don't want to be mowing your lawn all day, or find myself putting up shelves." I smiled. "Or eating salad for that matter."
"What are you talking about?" She laughed.
"Well I don't know what women dream about." I replied in embarrassment.
"Much the same as men I expect." Emma grinned.
"I find that hard to believe."
"Well, you'd better start believing, because I went to sleep wanting a fuck."
"WHAT!?" I exclaimed, a little shocked by her forthrightness and her use of the word 'fuck' so casually.
"And I'm pretty sure you've wanted to fuck me from the moment we met."
"Before that actually." I mumbled. "I've written more than one story I'm sure you wouldn't like."
"So how about it?"
"Just like that?"
"Why not? It's not as if any actual intercourse is going to take place. In the real world I mean." She grinned again, her hazel eyes sparkling, enjoying my discomfort.
"I suppose," I said slowly, still shell-shocked, "but usually I set up some scenario, some vaguely plausible way of meeting you."
"Why?"
"So that I can use it as a story." I said red-faced.
"Is that all? It won't be a problem." She paused for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. "How about this? You're the handyman working at a cottage I've rented and I'm watching you," she gave an evil little smirk, "mow the grass."
"I knew it." I laughed. "All right, as long as there's no salad involved."
"What about shelves?" She laughed back.
"Let's see where it goes."
*****
The sun was beating down as I finished mowing the grass; so much so that I'd taken off my t-shirt, a rare occurrence. As I thankfully rolled the mower back to the shed the young woman who had rented the cottage for the summer, and who incidentally bore a remarkable resemblance to Emma Watson the movie star from the glimpses I'd had of her, called out from the back door.
"That looks like hot work. Care for a cold drink?"
"That would be wonderful Miss. I'll just put this away first." I indicated the mower.
"Okay. And you can call me Emma." She replied.
Emma? No! It couldn't possibly be her. Could it? I wondered as I cleaned my hands and then headed back to the still open door, my t-shirt over my shoulder. I politely knocked.